Anyone else do this?

[blessedmomto4]

I seriously stress myself out trying to look nice when I am going to encounter my soon-to-be ex.
I make sure I have make-up on and my hair done no matter what of day it is.
Stupid really but , I want for him to see me and.. I don't know.. miss me?
I want him to see what he is missing out on by divorcing me.
I know it is absurd yet, I can't stop myself from doing it...

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I didn't. Then again, I wasn't trying to win him back either. We were both ok with the ending of our marriage.

My husbands ex did and does though... It's weird and a little awkward. We show up to basketball games and everybody is wearing jeans and sweatshirts and there she is with her Coach purse and full make-up, nails, hair, done to perfection. Then she'll go the other side and show up to get the kids with sweats and disheveled hair and streaked make-up, dropping hints about how bad things are and she has nobody to talk to/help her/whatever and tries to invite him to asking her about it.

As he says to me though, he notices, he says she looks ridiculous, and "I didn't leave her because she's ugly and I wouldn't come back if she were the most beautiful woman in the world."

 

[blessedmomto4]

I didn't. Then again, I wasn't trying to win him back either. We were both ok with the ending of our marriage.

My husbands ex did and does though... It's weird and a little awkward. We show up to basketball games and everybody is wearing jeans and sweatshirts and there she is with her Coach purse and full make-up, nails, hair, done to perfection. Then she'll go the other side and show up to get the kids with sweats and disheveled hair and streaked make-up, dropping hints about how bad things are and she has nobody to talk to/help her/whatever and tries to invite him to asking her about it.

As he says to me though, he notices, he says she looks ridiculous, and "I didn't leave her because she's ugly and I wouldn't come back if she were the most beautiful woman in the world."

well I don't go that far... I just make sure my make up and hair are done.
I don't ever want him to look at me and think "I am so glad I left her" lol

 

[dayhiker]

blessed .. makes sense to me. Isn't it fun watching how people act, even watching how we our self act. I love that you are that honest with yourself.
I think at some point you'll be putting more effort into living your new life that your thoughts of him will fade away.

 

[blessedmomto4]

blessed .. makes sense to me. Isn't it fun watching how people act, even watching how we our self act. I love that you are that honest with yourself.
I think at some point you'll be putting more effort into living your new life that your thoughts of him will fade away.

SO looking forward to that day. He is REALLY enjoying the fact that I want him to notice me... not a good place for me to be in for SURE.

 

[ValleyGal]

Actually, I did it when my first husband and I divorced. I started volunteering at the gym (then the coach and I worked out afterwards), I took up dancing, kept my nose clean...and all that added up to me being even hotter than I was when we married. It was almost like a way to get revenge, as if to say "look what you'll never have again!" He tried coming back after about 20 months, and that lasted for about two weeks...then it was my turn to say "I'm done." Then he really couldn't have me anymore. The best revenge is to live well, enjoy life, and look and feel great!

 

[blessedmomto4]

Actually, I did it when my first husband and I divorced. I started volunteering at the gym (then the coach and I worked out afterwards), I took up dancing, kept my nose clean...and all that added up to me being even hotter than I was when we married. It was almost like a way to get revenge, as if to say "look what you'll never have again!" He tried coming back after about 20 months, and that lasted for about two weeks...then it was my turn to say "I'm done." Then he really couldn't have me anymore. The best revenge is to live well, enjoy life, and look and feel great!

I start working out tomorrow. I have lost quite a bit of weight (tho I don't know exactly how much as I have no scale but, I have to get rid of clothes that are falling off so that is a YAY ) but, I fear when the stress lifts a little it will all come back and I want WAY more to come off so I am working out tomorrow. I figure it is a twofer .. I get to relieve stress AND look better. SO, that is what I am going to do. If he comes back he does and we can see but if not, I will feel better about myself.. WIN , WIN.

 

[ValleyGal]

That's awesome! Good luck with your workouts. Yes, it really does help with stress, and it also gives you more energy. Congrats on losing some weight! I'm sure you already feel great about yourself. It will stay off if you manage to find a maintenance program that works for you.

 

[dayhiker]

Sounds like good decisions, blessed.
I'm jealous of you losing weight. I lost some when I got divorced from lots of walking and a very physical job for 1.5 yrs. Now I'm back in the office and almost back to the weight I was at when I got divorced.

 

[blessedmomto4]

Sounds like good decisions, blessed.
I'm jealous of you losing weight. I lost some when I got divorced from lots of walking and a very physical job for 1.5 yrs. Now I'm back in the office and almost back to the weight I was at when I got divorced.

You can do it again Dayhiker. Losing weight is SO hard.. It stinks that stress and emotions play such a huge part in it....

 

[ValleyGal]

You can do it again Dayhiker. Losing weight is SO hard.. It stinks that stress and emotions play such a huge part in it....

No kidding, eh! Most people don't get how hard it is. I put weight on again gradually after I broke my leg and can't get near the exercise I used to get. It got even worse when I went back to college and then got a sedentary job. Then because stress and emotions play a huge part, when the weight comes back on, people feel down about themselves, driving them to eat even more - and not having the emotional energy to get on the treadmill rather than the sofa. Yes, it can certainly be a struggle....

 

[blessedmomto4]

No kidding, eh! Most people don't get how hard it is. I put weight on again gradually after I broke my leg and can't get near the exercise I used to get. It got even worse when I went back to college and then got a sedentary job. Then because stress and emotions play a huge part, when the weight comes back on, people feel down about themselves, driving them to eat even more - and not having the emotional energy to get on the treadmill rather than the sofa. Yes, it can certainly be a struggle....

All so so so true. I wish it were as easy to take off as put on. I love me some food! I wish that I could figure out how NOT to love it. lol
The hard part is you absolutely need food to live so it is not like it is something you can just walk away from and never do again (like drugs or alcohol) it is hard... Good luck to ya!!!!!!!

 

[findmydream]

My STBX seems to be trying the look crappy, poor me thing. He comes to pick the kids up in the mornings and his hair is a mess (he never used to even go near a window without his hair done) etc. Poor him, yah right. Right after I moved out, he moved in with his new girlfriend (who works where I do, no less). Now he's just bought himself a husky puppy (from a pet store, so not cheap!) when he has no money for bills or food. My son volunteered that the girlfriend was not happy about the puppy. Well, I guess he never talked to her about it. He pulled that on me before with another puppy that I ended up having to sell, and his crappy car (when he didn't have a job). I'm so happy I'm not dealing with that anymore. I thought he might have learned his lesson when he suddenly had to take care of his own finances (I always did before). Guess not.

 

[blessedmomto4]

My STBX seems to be trying the look crappy, poor me thing. He comes to pick the kids up in the mornings and his hair is a mess (he never used to even go near a window without his hair done) etc. Poor him, yah right. Right after I moved out, he moved in with his new girlfriend (who works where I do, no less). Now he's just bought himself a husky puppy (from a pet store, so not cheap!) when he has no money for bills or food. My son volunteered that the girlfriend was not happy about the puppy. Well, I guess he never talked to her about it. He pulled that on me before with another puppy that I ended up having to sell, and his crappy car (when he didn't have a job). I'm so happy I'm not dealing with that anymore. I thought he might have learned his lesson when he suddenly had to take care of his own finances (I always did before). Guess not.

mine tries the poor me thing too. Yet he also has a new puppy and new things. It is hilarious really. I don't feel badly for him... NOT one bit.