Anyone Else as Innocent as Me?

[EyesOfKohl]

You’re fine, Searching. Some people don’t believe in any kind of touching, except perhaps holding hands, until engagement or marriage. And I think they’re right.

With this mindset, you become a lot more appreciative in a very romantic way, those that fall into physical intimacy beforehand will never understand or appreciate.

 

[PollyJetix]

So, you feel the OP is using that particular definition in both the thread title and the question.

Innocent, perhaps of sinful sexual acts.
Not necessarily of mental lust (which of course, Jesus said is the same thing.)

 

[PollyJetix]

I couldn’t be in a relationship that involves no touching. Might as well just be a friendship if there’s no expression of affection.

I want to cuddle, kiss.

Of course you want to. We all do!
But, face it... that's only the appetizer.
And if you're honest, you'll admit it's very hard to stop eating with only the appetizer, if you're very hungry.
But... if it's sin to commit fornication (which it is) then playing around getting yourself aroused is asking for temptation.
The Word says, "Make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill it in the lusts thereof."
Don't play around at the edge of a cliff, to see if you can keep from falling off.

 

[CodyFaith]

.

 

[Celticroots]

As far as I'm concerned, it isn't a romantic relationship unless one actually does those things. Regardless of label, it's really just a good friendship if the partners don't act romantically affectionate to each other in demonstration of it being more than that.

Exactly.

 

[Celticroots]

Of course you want to. We all do!
But, face it... that's only the appetizer.
And if you're honest, you'll admit it's very hard to stop eating with only the appetizer, if you're very hungry.
But... if it's sin to commit fornication (which it is) then playing around getting yourself aroused is asking for temptation.
The Word says, "Make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill it in the lusts thereof."
Don't play around at the edge of a cliff, to see if you can keep from falling off.

Sorry, but I can't have a relationship without some kind of physical affection. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

 

[redblue22]

I suppose one could criticize the OP Q on grammar. People often use the "me" in order to indicate the "I am."

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

So do I. But only after I’ve committed myself for life and put that ring on her finger.

Makes me think of all the possible surprises you can get when waiting that long to see whats poppin.

 

[Strider1002]

Makes me think of all the possible surprises you can get when waiting that long to see whats poppin.

I don’t know what you’re saying.

 

[PeachieKeen]

Just to caution anyone who hadn't thought about this- I've had a few friends who did this and they had built physical 'purity' up into such an idol that when they DID get married, consumating the marriage was traumatic. They had come to place sooo much of their identity into being 'pure'- no hand holding, no hugs, no kisses, no sitting close, etc- that even when they had the green light to do anything they wanted in their marriage, it still made them feel dirty and like they lost their identity.

If you decide to abstain from all physicality until marriage, make sure you're doing it for God. Don't do it because you want the virginity high score and to be more pure than anyone else.

 

[Servant68]

I was married for 20 years to a woman who hated physical intimacy. It was emotionally, mentally, and spiritually crushing. Never again.

If I was dating a woman who refused to even hold hands, then I would take that as a major red flag.

 

[Servant68]

I don’t know what you’re saying.

I think he's saying you could discover your new bride is actually a new groom, or has certain severe hang-ups in regards to physical intimacy.

 

[Strider1002]

I think he's saying you could discover your new bride is actually a new groom, or has certain severe hang-ups in regards to physical intimacy.

Well that’s silly. You can get to know someone just fine without getting physical.

 

[Strider1002]

If the Lord leads me to marry a woman, and she believes she can handle physical intimacy but turns out to have problems with it once married, that is the Lord’s will for me and I accept it.
As Christians we are called to trust the Lord’s judgement more than our own.

 

[Toro]

Honestly, my hat goes off to those that keep themselves pure. Not to make an idol of your purity but to truly restrain for the Lord...... its a glorious thing.

But purity doesn't save you....... so if that becomes an idol as Peachie said or a means to look down on and judge others it is no longer a blessing.

 

[Servant68]

If the Lord leads me to marry a woman, and she believes she can handle physical intimacy but turns out to have problems with it once married, that is the Lord’s will for me and I accept it.
As Christians we are called to trust the Lord’s judgement more than our own.

Easy to say until you've lived it for 20 years...

Now I think what you're expressing is wonderful, Godly, and spiritual and all that. I sincerely hope you never have to live what I lived through.

Having your new bride tell you she feels like she is being raped when you try to kiss her is incredibly painful and crushing.

Saying you would just simply accept it as the Lord's will sounds incredibly naive.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

I think he's saying you could discover your new bride is actually a new groom, or has certain severe hang-ups in regards to physical intimacy.

This.

Without knowing if that part of the relationship is going to work out, you can have all kinds of issues down the line.

 

[Strider1002]

Saying you would just simply accept it as the Lord's will sounds incredibly naive.

Well the Lord wants us to have childlike faith, and children are often called naive. So thank you.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

The biggest issue is saying well, we'll figure out any possible intimacy issues after we make a lifelong commitment. Thats not an approach people do with anything else in their life, and it can burn you here.

 

[Strider1002]

One of the best things about being a Christian is knowing God already has it all figured out.