Any virgins?

dayhiker · Mar 14, 2011

white dove said:
I strongly disagree that sex is degrading, especially that it is the most degrading act imaginable. Sex is intensely personal. You can't strip from it how intimate an act it is. Yet, degrading? Not unless you're referring to sado-masochism, in which case I'd suggest stop watching SVU.

I agree .. I don't see sex as degrading, even pre-marrital sex.

justaguy78 · Mar 16, 2011

I'm not a virgin however I would prefer if I was still was. I will say I have only had one partner and I thought for sure she was "the one" yet it turned out she wasn't.

Society hypes up sex to be the most amazing thing and before I had it I bought into that and the fact is it isn't. I tend to think the reason people take on that view of making it such a focal point is because biologically we are wired to want to do it to reproduce so that factors into the hype of making it sound like it is so incredible. If there wasn't the urge then I bet people would look at it from a more analytical POV and see it isn't anything amazing, at least for a guy.

I'd prefer to be a virgin but with the knowledge I have about it so I wouldn't have any real urge to "do it" and apparently be part of the cool club which is how society seems to make it out to be. Everywhere you turn it is sex sex sex being pushed in your face and it is so silly.

Note this is from a guy's POV and maybe it is different for women.

I respect virgins and wish there were more of them. Ideally if I were to find a partner I'd want her to be a virgin though I wouldn't make it a requirement given my experience.

I also don't think sex is degrading although it is an act that is a bit gross though when you sort of think about what is involved in it. Then again, I find open mouth kissing to be gross and kissing on the lips in general to be a bit weird...

Zoness · Mar 16, 2011

Not a virgin, and I am plenty ok with that.

Inb4 stoned to death

Sunset2009 · Mar 17, 2011

white dove said:
I strongly disagree that sex is degrading, especially that it is the most degrading act imaginable. Sex is intensely personal. You can't strip from it how intimate an act it is. Yet, degrading? Not unless you're referring to sado-masochism, in which case I'd suggest stop watching SVU.

Then we disagree, I suppose. I find it a very degrading act, if it's not coupled with a non-physical intimate connection and love between the two parties. That's why it's so beautiful under the right circumstances. Mind-blowingly beautiful. But under the wrong circumstances, the act itself is degrading and demeaning.

lawtonfogle · Mar 17, 2011

Sunset2009 said:
Then we disagree, I suppose. I find it a very degrading act, if it's not coupled with a non-physical intimate connection and love between the two parties. That's why it's so beautiful under the right circumstances. Mind-blowingly beautiful. But under the wrong circumstances, the act itself is degrading and demeaning.

Then it is actually a really beautiful act that, under the right circumstances, is extremely degrading. This seems to be a half-empty/half-full issue.

HighwayMan · Mar 19, 2011

Sunset2009 said:
Then we disagree, I suppose. I find it a very degrading act, if it's not coupled with a non-physical intimate connection and love between the two parties. That's why it's so beautiful under the right circumstances. Mind-blowingly beautiful. But under the wrong circumstances, the act itself is degrading and demeaning.

Glad to see there are others who feel the same. Quite a large number of people see it as nothing more than getting a high-five from society for "getting one on the score-board".

Meshangel · Jul 4, 2019

Matariki said:
I know it might sound like an awkward question, but are there any virgins here on the forums?

In case anyone was wondering, I'm a virgin myself.

I had to ask, because it seems wherever I go people accept premarital sex as normal and justifiable, but I know the bible says otherwise. Why do we (and should we) place so much emphasis in the importance of being virgin before marriage?
Yes I do. To me its really important. I don't want to sleep with ANYONE but my husband.

JAM2b · Jul 4, 2019

Matariki said:
I had to ask, because it seems wherever I go people accept premarital sex as normal and justifiable, but I know the bible says otherwise. Why do we (and should we) place so much emphasis in the importance of being virgin before marriage?

It is "normal" as in "very common." I don't know many Christians who justify it, but rather just accept it as a part of life. Physical purity can be a difficult thing to hang onto. People who aren't Christian or part of a religion that teaches against it, tend to justify it simply because they honestly do not believe that it is wrong. I think people are more honest about that now than they used to be because society isn't brutal about it like it used to be.

I have a theory, and there's no way it can be proven, but I think there were far more fewer virgins in the past than people are lead to believe. I think it was so taboo and so frowned upon by society that people hid the fact when it happened. They didn't talk about it, or flaunt it. I will say this, some people got married very quickly. There were also circumstances where some women went away to "visit an aunt" for a time, and sometimes they didn't come back.

One thing that has been embraced in Christianity is the realization of God's grace and restorative mercy that used to not be taught. Lack of physical purity is not a deterrent to God's love. He is willing to forgive anything and to bless us in spite of ourselves. Knowing that, and experiencing that, frees people up to not be so hung up on it. People are able to make mistakes or live past lives that aren't so sterling, and move on from it because of the cleansing and restoration that God provides. We don't have to dwell on it, for ourselves or on behalf of others.

JAM2b · Jul 4, 2019

Just realized this is a revived thread!

Citanul · Jul 4, 2019

JAM2b said:
I have a theory, and there's no way it can be proven, but I think there were far more fewer virgins in the past than people are lead to believe. I think it was so taboo and so frowned upon by society that people hid the fact when it happened. They didn't talk about it, or flaunt it. I will say this, some people got married very quickly. There were also circumstances where some women went away to "visit an aunt" for a time, and sometimes they didn't come back.

Bizarrely resurrected thread or not, I think you make a good point here. I've been researching my family history and have come across a number of instances where a child was born less than nine months after a couple was married (and even some where there's no father in the picture). So sex prior to marriage has been going on for a long time.

dayhiker · Jul 4, 2019

There was an historian in Maine who came across the diary of a midwife who recorded all the births she attended around 1850. The historian decided to get town records to see when the marriges happened. the results were 30% got married after the woman was pregnant.
Yes, God created both men and women with such a desire for sex that they don't spend much time thinking about government paperwork when their passions are active.

Citanul · Jul 4, 2019

Also back then people tended to marry younger. So sex before marriage would have been less common because there was a shorter time period during which it could happen.

Any virgins?

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justaguy78

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Sunset2009

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