Any one else having trouble?

[dnilsen07]

I was wondering if anyone else is having trouble finding a congregation that they feel comfortable in? We are a mid 20's couple, to be married this fall, but we are having trouble finding a congregation where we arn't the only ones in our age group. Every church we visit, there is a huge age gap, mostly older members with some young families, but the young families are in their mid 30's at least. Any suggestions would be great.

 

[Luther073082]

I was wondering if anyone else is having trouble finding a congregation that they feel comfortable in? We are a mid 20's couple, to be married this fall, but we are having trouble finding a congregation where we arn't the only ones in our age group. Every church we visit, there is a huge age gap, mostly older members with some young families, but the young families are in their mid 30's at least. Any suggestions would be great.

I was in my mid 20's not too long ago and for the most part I would have to say that you just sort of have to deal with that.

People who are older arn't too bad though. I think sometimes people who are in their 20's have been in school including college don't realize that it actually is possible to relate to people who are older then they are.

And given that you are getting married and may be having children later on, it honestly will not be long before you have more in common with an older married person then you do with the friends your age who are single.

 

[Tallguy88]

In my experience, Cathokic parishes tend to have a decent amount of people around age 30.

However, Protestant churches that I've been to seem to be missing the 20-40 age group. I assume it's just people who stop going when their parents stop forcing them to go. But then they'll probably rediscover faith on their own and start going back at an older age.

Personally, it doesn't really bother me to not have very many people my age at church.

 

[Tigger45]

I hate to tell you this but this last time it took me ten years to find a home church. When I first received Christ as my Savior I was blessed over and over with just the right church at the right time. This last time God really made me a sojourner when it came to churches but it was worth it in the end. Don't give up keep visiting churches in fact unless you see or hear something that raises a red flag I would recommend visiting a few times to get a feel for them.

 

[doulos_tou_kuriou]

You are from an age group that is by and large missing in most Lutheran congregations. Part of this is a result of people gone at college, life in constant transition (even yourself being married - congrats by the way), and so forth makes this group mostly absent.

Lutherans tend to worship in a style that many 20 year olds do not wish to participate in for various reasons. Some of them in later years tend to return to the Lutheran church for this reason or that. But it does make it lonely for those of that group who remain. What this tends to do is shoo away those who did attend but are left with no peers.

To this I say several things. First is to encourage you, for your place in the church is not marked by how well you blend in but by the invitation and forgiveness of Christ and the Holy Spirit who has called you by the Gospel. The next is to say this is the importance of learning to connect to people outside our age group. Sunday mornings tend to be segregated in every way - class, race, age, and color, because we feel comfortable with our peers. But church is a family gathering, where we belong even with the older aunts and great grandparents. It is the family of God gathered around the word of Jesus. And so it is good to come with that attitude and to live into that conviction by cross-generational connection. Finally it is to commission you, for the community of believers. Your willingness to stick around will be important for helping the next 20 yr old who walks in that church to not feel alone and to connect to the whole community.

As younger people we can complain the church is older, we don't fit in. But if we leave, then the next young person will walk in and say the same thing. If we want more youth in the church we need to be willing to be there, otherwise we shouldn't expect a church to have young people.

Stay with it, connect with some of the wonderful elder members of the body of Christ, and in all things may the Lord be with you.