Any idess to get him legally out

[cjba]

I can't take this anymore. He comes and goes as he pleases. Last night he went out with his brothers which is his new thing. He did not call or come home.

Even my children seem immune to it. My 2 oldest were to write a statment to show the judge it is an unhealthy envoirnment. Now neither will do anything.

I can't live this way anymore. It is time for him to go. As much as it breaks my heart because I love my husband. The actions that are shown by this man I do not love. My husband's spirit died along time ago.

Please give any advise I have an appt with a lawyer tomrrow.

God Bless

 

[formykidsiwill]

I can't take this anymore. He comes and goes as he pleases. Last night he went out with his brothers which is his new thing. He did not call or come home.

Even my children seem immune to it. My 2 oldest were to write a statment to show the judge it is an unhealthy envoirnment. Now neither will do anything.

I can't live this way anymore. It is time for him to go. As much as it breaks my heart because I love my husband. The actions that are shown by this man I do not love. My husband's spirit died along time ago.

Please give any advise I have an appt with a lawyer tomrrow.

God Bless

The only thing you might do is legally evict him, but you'll have to check with the attorney as to whether or not you can do that. I am sorry your going through this, I'll pray for you.

Blessings,

 

[cjba]

I was told I cannot evict him because he is on title on the house. And to top it off he pays the mortgage. The lawyer told me if I was able to get the statement I would be able to get him out due to an unhealthy environment for me and the kids. But now they refuse. I was mad because it is as if they accept his behavior and know that I am falling apart. I feel that they now as well as my husband don't care about me. I'm suppose to just take all of this and carry on with my life. Well I can't do this anymore.

 

[pboop]

I was told I cannot evict him because he is on title on the house. And to top it off he pays the mortgage. The lawyer told me if I was able to get the statement I would be able to get him out due to an unhealthy environment for me and the kids. But now they refuse. I was mad because it is as if they accept his behavior and know that I am falling apart. I feel that they now as well as my husband don't care about me. I'm suppose to just take all of this and carry on with my life. Well I can't do this anymore.

Sister in Christ, I am so sorry for your pain. I know exactly how it feels. I don't know if I should be giving advice on this matter at all considering the mess I'm in. Before you take legal action to remove him from the home you both share, I would tell him in no uncertain terms what he was doing to me, how my unhappiness was affecting our children than I would ask him to leave. If you have in fact done that and he refuses you have no other recourse but a legal one. I feel your children are not trying to hurt you, they may simply desire not to take sides or do anything they interpret as taking sides. Please remember they're probably hurting too kids just show it differently. May you hold fast to Lord during this awful time.

 

[lvs2sng]

I was told I cannot evict him because he is on title on the house. And to top it off he pays the mortgage. The lawyer told me if I was able to get the statement I would be able to get him out due to an unhealthy environment for me and the kids. But now they refuse. I was mad because it is as if they accept his behavior and know that I am falling apart. I feel that they now as well as my husband don't care about me. I'm suppose to just take all of this and carry on with my life. Well I can't do this anymore.

cjba,
I am so sorry. I have had my kids to do that too. I never know when I wake up in the morning if they are going to be on "my side" or "his". They know what he did wrong but he fills their heads with lies and if they look deep enough and really listen then they know who is right here.
The bottom line is. They are very confused and hurt, just like we are. It is hard for us to take because they came from us and we would give our very lives for them. It seems like we are alone in the world when they are gravitating toward our husbands.
The only thing I can think to tell you is be straight forward with them but pull yourself together. Show them that you are strong. And you will make it through this because you have God on your side. Let them know that you love them with all of you heart and would do anything for them. If they come to you at ANY time telling you that they will write those letters, make them do it right then.
He is still their dad and it will be hard for them but they have to know that this is going to help all of you in the long run. Let them know that this is not fair to you and you deserve alot better than what he is handing you.
I feel like if we handle our situations right, our kids will appreciate us more when they are older and can understand it better. You will also be able to look back on this and be proud of yourself.
I am just writing this from my heart. Sometimes I feel like I am going to fall flat on my face too, and I have to just look to God and know that He is there. You do what you feel is right and I'm sure that God will show you the way He wants you to go. I am praying earnestly for you to be able to get through this. I have faith in our God and in you. YOU CAN DO THIS!!
God Bless you my sister!

 

[nicholzac]

You know Im thinking if this man is really ignorant, I dont know that he is, Im just saying if this is a relationship thats been over for a while and your just co existing chances are this has escalated the ugly stage. And he probably loves that your so aggrivated and is more so thrilled that the kids wont sign statements. He is living the high life. What you need to do is not care what he does do not show that it bothers you no matter what he does!! Dont ask the kids for statements because in my oppinion that is detrimental to them to ask them to go against their dad. unless of course he truly is abusive thats another story. anyway get a life, I am not saying that in a hateful way I mean you do exactly what he is doing move on go out with friends join support groups spend time with family in other words be gone as much as possible. This will keep your mind off your hurt and you wont be so angry. When you see him you smile and say how was your day? mine was AWESOME. And i hope you dont cook or clean for him because if he doesnt want to be a husband anymore and he wants to act like a bachelor then treat him like one. Anyway basicly I am saying to you take back the power he seems to have over you ANGER HATRED RESENMENT spill that into a blog or a friend dont let him have the satisfaction of making you miserable.And let the laywer sort out the rest. Anyway good luck I hope I helped at least a little bit.

 

[cjba]

Yes, thank you. I need to pick myself up but when I think I have made it, there it goes again and I am back to square one.

Today I passed out in front of my kids. I do not want them to see a weak person. This is the 2nd time this has happened.

Please pray for God to give me strength. My husband believes prayer is a waste of time and it will not work for him. So I ask to put my huband in prayer so that he can see God is almighty and God can do anything. It bothers me that my husband is so far gone that he told me prayer does not work. This is a man that use to go to church every Sunday as a child. He went to the Seminary as well and for him to say prayer does not help is shocking.

God Bless

 

[nicholzac]

You should try to find a support group in your community and ayou need to go to counceling by yourself and of course go to church. I think if you try these things youll find some peace of mind and eventually even strength. I fyou are passing out you should certainly see a medical doctor for that. The only thing that will truly heal all of your wounds is time. I honestly think if you try some of these things you will feel better. Do you have a pre existing medical condition? Are you eating right? I am trying to figure out why your passing out?

 

[madison1101]

I would not put the kids in the position of taking sides or testifying, unless it is physical abuse.

I am not sure what he is doing? I think I missed a previous blog. Is he cheating on you?

 

[major_minor]

Sister, I am sorry it has come to this. I may say some things here that may hurt, cause you to think, or make you cry. But I feel in time, it will help.

Obviously, this did not happen overnight. This has gone on for some time, at least a year Now this will obviously bring to question what has transpired over & during that time and what did you do to repair it? What has he done? BTW, how old are the children?
I will tell you this, to make the children write negative comment about there dad is unfair to them unless he is verbally or physically abusive. I found this our second hand. It sucks, and the kids would resent you later for it. If the marriage in irreparable only bc the 2 of you are not willing to work it out together, then you have 2 choices only.
Stay, for know ye not that he may be saved by your belief, and your children be stronger for it. You would be blessed for it, and so would your family, tho it will not be easy.
Option 2, you would have to leave, and my guess, due to the emotion I sense, it may get pretty ugly. The kids if young will take it hard, and you will split up the family...actually, to clarify, you both would. He is very much at fault as well.


Now, think back for how ever many years you have been married. When did you first start to sense a change in him? What was going on in your marriage at that time? Was he ever really involved in church? Did the two of you have a fight? Lose a job? Lose a loved one? Go impotent? What? That is for you to answer.
Once you know that, you may have an idea why he is drifting off. Do the 2 of you still talk? Do you converse? How long has it been lacking if so? What was going on then? Same time? If different, what was different?

Pray for God to heal your heart and to let you see what is causing this. Ask Him to open your eyes to see without personal interference. Ask Him to see your husband thru His eyes. And pray often for your husband. 1 min per hr. minimum.

I am not saying it will be easy, and as long as he is not abusive or adulterous, try to stick it thru.

In our prayers,
MM

PS, just got word of some of the history on this one. WOW is all I can say. May God comfort you in these times, and may peace and joy thrive within you always!

MM

 

[Sugarjay]

cbja, your mailbox is full

 

[novi12]

Cjba I agree with the post of major minor. Can u take the example of the Lord and sacrifice urself. Check my post and then take ur decesion. Yes cleanse is required for everyone of us if u want to truly express ur love for JeGod Bless u cjba

 

[connielw]

CJBA - Just a quick hug coming your way! Thinking about you. Hang in there, kiddo! Connie

 

[sreno7]

WOW you are in my life! My husband was doing the same thing and I lost it and ordered him out. He stayed for two more days then two weeks ago he just vanished. I am really hurting now.
DO you really want him gone or do you want the situation fixed? You really can't force him out if his name is on the house, but you can see a lawyer and force him to sell the house.

 

[cjba]

sreno7,

You are and your family are in my prayers. Your husband just vanished?

I have asked him to leave but he tells me he does not want to abondon the children. The only difference will be a piece of paper when he actually moves out.

I prefer to have the situation fixed. But my husband is so far gone. Yesterday again he told me the marriage is over.

I am at a point where there is nothing I can do but protect myself. I pray and pray but to no avail things only get worse.

I don't want to sell the house in order for him to move out. He has told me I can keep the house. We'll see.

If you ever need to chat send me a pm.

God Bless

 

[novi12]

Dear cjba when ur hubby says thigns u should not worry just surrender to God and ask Lord to forgive him. Belive n pray and u'll get whatever u ask God Bless u

 

[cjba]

Novi12,

Thank you so much for the continued encouragement.

God Bless you for taking the time to help others.

 

[Autumnleaf]

sreno7,

You are and your family are in my prayers. Your husband just vanished?

I have asked him to leave but he tells me he does not want to abondon the children. The only difference will be a piece of paper when he actually moves out.

I prefer to have the situation fixed. But my husband is so far gone. Yesterday again he told me the marriage is over.

I am at a point where there is nothing I can do but protect myself. I pray and pray but to no avail things only get worse.

I don't want to sell the house in order for him to move out. He has told me I can keep the house. We'll see.

If you ever need to chat send me a pm.

God Bless

Start saying other things and doing/not doing things you don't usually do. Change your actions and see if he changes his.

If you give him attention for going out, stop it. If you ignore it, lay into him for being irresponsible. Tell him if he doesn't shape up you'll call his mom/dad/bosspastor to talk some sense into him. People respond to different forms of treatment. It can take alot of trial and error to find out what to do but use your time to do this and see where it leads you.

 

[sreno7]

there is a book by James Dobson called "love must be tough" that talks about how to respond to behaviour. There is a wonderful book by Stormie Omartian called the Power of a praying wife. Her husband was very verbally abusive. If he is on the title of the house you can't get him out if he doesn't want to go. That wasn't a problem in my situation as I told you my husband just up and left without a word. Is having the house worth the stress and emotional pain?

 

[cjba]

Autumleaf,

I don't make a big scene on him going out. I tell him to have fun and be careful. It is 99% going out with his brothers. Which are not a good influence.

I did talk to his mother a few days ago. He found out and told me to stay away from his family and to get out of his life. The next day when I arrived home he came to me with an expression of anger and told me to again to stay away from his family and if I called his mothe again, he would press harrasement charges against me. He has really lost it! Now he can't think striaght because he can't press harrasement charges I thought this was "stupid".

Well, I'm doing better I have not called his cell in 2 days. Tonight he is spending the night at his parents. The odd thing today was he called me from work to tell me he was staying late for training and letting me know the possibility of staying at his parents. Why call me if he has this hatred towards me. He actually spoke to me almost in his normal tone. But he did not call me after that to let me know what will take place. He called 3 of our kids to let them know. I am proud of myself for not calling him today. This was a very difficult step for me.