Any advice please? I get too attached....

[TANKERx]

...

 

[wvmtnkid]

Hmmmm....tough situation. It sounds like you have the Big Brother sydrome! It seems that perhaps the girls you are interested in see you as more of the big brother to them instead of a potential boyfriend. Maybe it is because you haven't let them know that your feelings run deeper than friendship. I don't know. Do you think that might be the cause of some of this?

As for the girl now who tends to be your friend and than leaves you high and dry, she isn't treating you right either. Now I don't know the whole situation, but it sounds as though she could be using you. If she is truly a friend, she is a friend in the good times as well as the bad. It sounds like she is just using you to get through the bad times and once those are better, she doesn't desire your friendship. And that isn't fair to you.

Perhaps the serious and tender side of you needs to come out more often. There is nothing wrong with being the life of the party so to speak, but sometimes others need to remember that you have a heart and that you have feelings as well. And that you desire to have a companion. Maybe you have hid those feelings so well, people, especially girls, don't realize that is a desire that you have. They see you as a friend and that is it.

 

[Stanfi]

At times like now when I'm in work, I'm almost fine because I have something to do, but when I'm home on my own, even reading the Bible is hard because I'm thinking "I won't phone her..... but what if she wants me to phone her....... what if there's something wrong........ she knows she can call me if she wants......... I don't want to bother her.......... she'll think I'm being funny with her if I don't phone........... but if I do, she'll think I'm stalking her........ " - Sometimes, I think the biggest curse on humanity is the mobile phone and Texting! It makes everything so accessible and too easy!

Anyway, any tips please? I'd value your also please.

Tankerx,

I can really relate to what you are saying. I know first had how it feels to become attached to someone only to watch it end. Then have history repeat again.. and again.. and again..

The last time, I tried explaining my feeling, and I got "I didn't know you felt that way, I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do now."

I really don't have any advice. My own advice to myself has been to not allow myslef to get close to anyone. However, this is not anyway to live, and there has to be a better answer.

I just wanted to say that I know how you feel.

 

[TANKERx]

Hi, thanks for your answers.

Mrstace, the problem I have is that if she needed my help, she needed my help and it was my duty to help her, but now she doesn't need my help, is it her fault that she doesn't even want to be friends (something I am actually comfortable with after a word from the Lord)? Can she help being like she is?

I don't think she can and that's adding to my frustration and confusion, I don't know where to direct my anger, only where not to direct it.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Well, think of them as your sisters. You get a chance to help them out. Be thankful for the time you do have. Each one is a gift and it's a blessing to get to know one, even if for a time. I know how you feel. It's pretty human to get attached. But I have to remember that getting attached doesn't do them any good.

 

[Stanfi]

Hi, thanks for your answers.

Mrstace, the problem I have is that if she needed my help, she needed my help and it was my duty to help her, but now she doesn't need my help, is it her fault that she doesn't even want to be friends (something I am actually comfortable with after a word from the Lord)? Can she help being like she is?

I don't think she can and that's adding to my frustration and confusion, I don't know where to direct my anger, only where not to direct it.

I see. You feel like you are being used. That's no fun. This is not your fault. This is an area the girl needs to work on. She needs to realize how she treats others. One day God will wake her up on this issue. When you are on the receiving end of something like this, it is no fun.