I became a Christian in a matter of minutes, overnight. The thing is... I didn't WANT to be a Christian. What I wanted was to know the truth. Is there a God? I would have been satisfied knowing the answer, whatever it would turn out to be.
Although my mother raised our family Catholic, the practice never reached me internally. I was sent to Sunday School classes at the Catholic Church; I did my first communion, confession, Sunday Mass, and church retreats. However, what I value strongly (then and now) is logical reasoning, and evidence. There simply wasn't enough in Christianity to believe it on logical reasoning alone - and I could see no evidence for it; so I had no reason to believe it more than any other religion or spiritual philosophy.
I love to learn about and discuss different views, cultures, beliefs, philosophies -- anything deep and difficult. After high school, I went to community college. I lost my best friend in high school, Brandon, to Christianity. It sounds funny, but I really hated Christians for what I saw as them having confident and completely naive views. I love science and reason, not blind acceptance. When my best friend became a Christian, I didn't hate him for it. We tried to be friends... but we simply had nothing in common anymore. We couldn't hang out. He wouldn't talk about girls with me. He stopped cursing and smoking. He stopped watching any kind of movie with things I felt were spiritually unhealthy.
Slowly, while at community college, God surrounded me with Christian friends. I kept in touch with Brandon, and we got into heated debates weekly - sometimes lasting up to 6 hours, and often at least 3. Other Christians I became friends with, I also engaged in discussions. My objectives in discussion were to understand their beliefs from their perspective, and to present alternatives to their spiritual beliefs in the hopes they would admit to other possibilitys and possibly stop being Christians.
During this time, I started reading the Bible. My intentions, there, were to know what they believed so I could use it against them in our discussions. I started with the gospel of Matthew.
One night, I met one of those friends, Jamie, for a late night discussion. She is a very faithful and Godly woman and comes from a family that reflects who she is. After a while of discussing, she asked, "Chris, what do you live for?" I told her I live for the things in life that make me feel alive: nature, the wind, the trees, the sky..." When I think about it now, those are things that help me see that life is bigger than our society, and everyday happenings. Jamie told me about the gap and how people try to find God in different ways but fail, and only Christ is the way to God. This analogy helped me to understand Christians - but it did not at all convince me that Christianity is the truth.
Soon Jamie said, "I'm tired. I'm going to bed." I agreed, and as I started to leave, Jamie asked for one favor. "What?" I asked. She said, "Chris, just promise me you'll pray and ask Jesus if he is God." So I said, "that's fine, Jamie. I'll do that. But why? I've looked for God before. I've even thought about Christianity. What if I don't get an answer? Why should I do this again?" And she told me, "because then you'll have a GOOD reason to not believe in Jesus."
That made me rather furious. For months I had been talking to Jamie and Brandon and other Christians - offering so many alternatives and reasons not to believe... and none of that was good??? But if I just asked Jesus if he is God and didn't receive ANY answer... THAT is a good reason?!
So I agreed, and I left with a determination, because I WAS interested in knowing the truth. I didn't WANT to be a Christian, but MORE than that, I wanted to know what the truth is about the existance of God. So this was it for me. If I did this the way Jamie wanted and received an answer, I'd be happy knowing there is a God. If I recieved NO answer... then there would be NOTHING a Christian could do to convince me. Because I would have done it THEIR way.
I went home that night and continued reading Matthew. At that time, I was on chapter 13, where Jesus explains to his disciples why he speaks to them in parables.
It's Matthew 13:13-15, and it says:
13 This is why I speak to them in parables: "Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. 14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: " 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
15 For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.'
As I read these verses... it's as if some gears in my head which had been spinning all along suddingly came together - and it clicked. It was like God was right there, and Jesus was speaking these words directly to me, as if they were written for me. I was one of those people Jesus was speaking about. I was listening to everything Christians were saying... but I wasn't hearing any of it. I couldn't hear the truth. I was hardened. The message was bouncing off me, and I was rejecting it without giving it a chance.
Immediately after reading these verses, I said a prayer to God. I asked for forgiveness and accepted Jesus. In less than an hour... I completely changed from being anti-Christian to being a follower of Jesus.
Since that time, God has continuously been a part of my life. He has been faithful and reaffirmed his existence and true identity time after time. That was in 2002.
I praise and thank God all the time, and have learned so much and come so far as a Christian. I'm thankful to Him - and give him all the glory, all the credit, and my life.
I hope this blesses and encourages you. And if there's one thing I want you to take away from it, it's this:
DO NOT CEASE praying for the salvation of even people who seem to be the MOST lost and distant from God. Reflect God's love, patience, and tolerance. Be the aroma of life. Don't give in to whims of being offended, or impatience. Don't respond in anger. Respond in kind!!! God's will be done - trust in that.
It disappoints me so much to see Christians making carnal game out of evangelism, acting on whims and delivering angry words rooted in feelings judgements.
God bless you!
Although my mother raised our family Catholic, the practice never reached me internally. I was sent to Sunday School classes at the Catholic Church; I did my first communion, confession, Sunday Mass, and church retreats. However, what I value strongly (then and now) is logical reasoning, and evidence. There simply wasn't enough in Christianity to believe it on logical reasoning alone - and I could see no evidence for it; so I had no reason to believe it more than any other religion or spiritual philosophy.
I love to learn about and discuss different views, cultures, beliefs, philosophies -- anything deep and difficult. After high school, I went to community college. I lost my best friend in high school, Brandon, to Christianity. It sounds funny, but I really hated Christians for what I saw as them having confident and completely naive views. I love science and reason, not blind acceptance. When my best friend became a Christian, I didn't hate him for it. We tried to be friends... but we simply had nothing in common anymore. We couldn't hang out. He wouldn't talk about girls with me. He stopped cursing and smoking. He stopped watching any kind of movie with things I felt were spiritually unhealthy.
Slowly, while at community college, God surrounded me with Christian friends. I kept in touch with Brandon, and we got into heated debates weekly - sometimes lasting up to 6 hours, and often at least 3. Other Christians I became friends with, I also engaged in discussions. My objectives in discussion were to understand their beliefs from their perspective, and to present alternatives to their spiritual beliefs in the hopes they would admit to other possibilitys and possibly stop being Christians.
During this time, I started reading the Bible. My intentions, there, were to know what they believed so I could use it against them in our discussions. I started with the gospel of Matthew.
One night, I met one of those friends, Jamie, for a late night discussion. She is a very faithful and Godly woman and comes from a family that reflects who she is. After a while of discussing, she asked, "Chris, what do you live for?" I told her I live for the things in life that make me feel alive: nature, the wind, the trees, the sky..." When I think about it now, those are things that help me see that life is bigger than our society, and everyday happenings. Jamie told me about the gap and how people try to find God in different ways but fail, and only Christ is the way to God. This analogy helped me to understand Christians - but it did not at all convince me that Christianity is the truth.
Soon Jamie said, "I'm tired. I'm going to bed." I agreed, and as I started to leave, Jamie asked for one favor. "What?" I asked. She said, "Chris, just promise me you'll pray and ask Jesus if he is God." So I said, "that's fine, Jamie. I'll do that. But why? I've looked for God before. I've even thought about Christianity. What if I don't get an answer? Why should I do this again?" And she told me, "because then you'll have a GOOD reason to not believe in Jesus."
That made me rather furious. For months I had been talking to Jamie and Brandon and other Christians - offering so many alternatives and reasons not to believe... and none of that was good??? But if I just asked Jesus if he is God and didn't receive ANY answer... THAT is a good reason?!
So I agreed, and I left with a determination, because I WAS interested in knowing the truth. I didn't WANT to be a Christian, but MORE than that, I wanted to know what the truth is about the existance of God. So this was it for me. If I did this the way Jamie wanted and received an answer, I'd be happy knowing there is a God. If I recieved NO answer... then there would be NOTHING a Christian could do to convince me. Because I would have done it THEIR way.
I went home that night and continued reading Matthew. At that time, I was on chapter 13, where Jesus explains to his disciples why he speaks to them in parables.
It's Matthew 13:13-15, and it says:
13 This is why I speak to them in parables: "Though seeing, they do not see; though hearing, they do not hear or understand. 14 In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah: " 'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
15 For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.'
As I read these verses... it's as if some gears in my head which had been spinning all along suddingly came together - and it clicked. It was like God was right there, and Jesus was speaking these words directly to me, as if they were written for me. I was one of those people Jesus was speaking about. I was listening to everything Christians were saying... but I wasn't hearing any of it. I couldn't hear the truth. I was hardened. The message was bouncing off me, and I was rejecting it without giving it a chance.
Immediately after reading these verses, I said a prayer to God. I asked for forgiveness and accepted Jesus. In less than an hour... I completely changed from being anti-Christian to being a follower of Jesus.
Since that time, God has continuously been a part of my life. He has been faithful and reaffirmed his existence and true identity time after time. That was in 2002.
I praise and thank God all the time, and have learned so much and come so far as a Christian. I'm thankful to Him - and give him all the glory, all the credit, and my life.
I hope this blesses and encourages you. And if there's one thing I want you to take away from it, it's this:
DO NOT CEASE praying for the salvation of even people who seem to be the MOST lost and distant from God. Reflect God's love, patience, and tolerance. Be the aroma of life. Don't give in to whims of being offended, or impatience. Don't respond in anger. Respond in kind!!! God's will be done - trust in that.
It disappoints me so much to see Christians making carnal game out of evangelism, acting on whims and delivering angry words rooted in feelings judgements.
God bless you!
