Another Let Down :(

[PetLuv]

Wow you all are awesome. Thanks for encouragement. Everywhere I go I see couples and babies. Am I wrong for wanting the same? God's love is more than enough to sustain me, but why do I long for human compassion?

As humans we need companionship. Spiritual companionship a main reason why people seek out God at all.
The fact that a person wants human contact is not abnormal either.
It's great to want something/someone in your life, the goal is to balance that want with patience so as to not get into a situation that we know better than to get into.

 

[jess9450]

I agree with you that we should seek God first and find our fulfilment in him. However, God himself said that it is not good for man to be alone. That is why he created Adam a help-mate.

God gives men and women a natural desire to be together and form families. It is true that some people are called to be celibate, but they are an extreme minority. God would never force celibacy on someone. Paul even said that it is better to marry than to burn with passion; despite the fact that he was celibate, and advocated celibacy.

If a person seeks God first and still desires to be married, than the desire is most likely God-given.

I'd be cautious about using this as a reason for marriage. Otherwise, how can you explain their singleness to the people who don't ever get married?

I think it applies more to the idea that humans are social creatures and we need companionship - but not necessarily in the form of a spouse...

 

[MacFall]

Am I wrong for wanting the same?

No.

God's love is more than enough to sustain me, but why do I long for human compassion?

Because that is how God made you.

Do not let anyone tell you that there's something wrong for you because you desire a good relationship with another person. God made people to desire fellowship with one another, and he gives us the commandment to love one another as the second greatest commandment. Some people think that that only requires good works pursuant to a detached, intellectual acknowlegement of another person's needs, but I do not believe (nor has anyone been able to prove to me by scripture or reason) that you can properly love another person unless you also have an emotional connection to them. We register caring and empathy in the form of emotion. It's not always rational, and it's often rather messy; but it's what we have to work with.

The desire to love another in a romatic sense is only the natural outgrowth of the above. We should care for everyone. On that, we practice agape - love by choice. Some of those for whom we care will share deeper connections with us. That is phileo - friendship. Eros, or romance, is phileo with a narrowed focus, and therefore, greater intimacy.

Agape for all, phileo for some, eros for one. That is the way God designed most of us. Those whom God did not intend to experience eros were not created with it. And those who preach that there is something wrong with a person for acting according to his or her design, I believe, cause their brothers and sisters to stumble. We love God first, but not solely. Without love for God we are incapable of loving other people, but as scripture says, the one who says he loves God and does not love other people is a liar.

I know that I should seek first the Kingdom of God, but I also know that God will fulfill his promises for our lives.

I agree. God does not create a desire in a person without intending that that desire be fulfilled. God created eros, just like he created agape and phileo. If you desire it, then you should seek it. So long as you are doing so in pursuit of God's Kingdom (which is based on love for one another to begin with!) then you have no reason to worry that you are straying from your purpose.

As for why it has not yet been fulfilled, I cannot answer that. I sometimes wonder if my own desire for a relationship has not been fulfilled because of something I've done wrong, but I would never suggest that as the reason for someone else in a similar situation. I'm in no position to make such a judgment. But I can tell you that I understand, as I am there myself. I think you're on the right track in learning to be otherwise content in your life. If you find yourself unable to shake the sadness of it, my practical advice would be to find something new to learn or do. Many great minds achieved their greatness out of a necessity born of solitude.

 

[redeemedbygrace24]

Macfall your post is amazing thanks so much. Today I'm trying to shake it off (the sadness) but I still have Hope in the Lord. I will try doing something that makes me happy as well today.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how you feel. My crush recently got a GF and it broke my heart. I just thought for once things would end differently and I'd for once get the guy.

Just know that the Lord has a reason for everything hun. Maybe He's protecting you or He just wants the wrong guys outta the way so the right one can come along. We don't know but just continue to trust in Him. He knows better what you need/desire than yourself. (I'm speaking to myself here too btw)

I once heard someone say to concentrate on becoming Mrs Right instead of looking for Mr Right. It really got me thinking and made so much sense.

 

[redeemedbygrace24]

Thanks @ Steady, you sound so strong. I pray that the Lord blesses you Having another heartbreak isn't easy, but I will ask the Lord to continuously prepare me for the "right one". This may sound horrible, but I feel that I really dont care right now about finding a Husband but maybe thats the sadness talking...

Everything does happen for a reason. Once again thanks for your kind and encouraging words

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Thanks @ Steady, you sound so strong. I pray that the Lord blesses you Having another heartbreak isn't easy, but I will ask the Lord to continuously prepare me for the "right one". This may sound horrible, but I feel that I really dont care right now about finding a Husband but maybe thats the sadness talking...

Everything does happen for a reason. Once again thanks for your kind and encouraging words

Anytime hun. If you ever want to talk/vent please feel free to PM me.

Oh, I get in those moods too at times. I'm like I just don't care anymore. I'm done with guys. I've even prayed that the Lord would take the desire for a husband away from me. (at least until I met him) It's always stayed with me but the Lord has always helped me through.

Also, something that has helped me is praying for my future spouse. I pray simple things like "Lord, give him a good day today" or for protection or just whatever comes to my mind. It helps me feel connected to him in a way. Might could give it a try.

 

[redeemedbygrace24]

Wow, I can relate to you so much. I almost want the desire to go away as well but then again I'm a hopeless romantic and my heart is filled with compassion. It can be a blessing and curse sometimes.

I will also take heed to your advice which is great You all are making me smile again because I felt for a sec that I wouldn't be able to bounce back from this one then I remember this verse:

" I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"

I really pray that your hubby will come along sooner than you think!

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Wow, I can relate to you so much. I almost want the desire to go away as well but then again I'm a hopeless romantic and my heart is filled with compassion. It can be a blessing and curse sometimes.

I will also take heed to your advice which is great You all are making me smile again because I felt for a sec that I wouldn't be able to bounce back from this one then I remember this verse:

" I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"

I really pray that your hubby will come along sooner than you think!

Oh yeah. I'm the same exact way. I'm such a hopeless romantic and I care for people sometimes even a little too much.

That's one of my favorite verses by far! I always think of it when times get tough.

Thanks hun. That truly means a whole lot to me.

 

[redeemedbygrace24]

Youre very welcome

 

[jess9450]

Anytime hun. If you ever want to talk/vent please feel free to PM me.

Oh, I get in those moods too at times. I'm like I just don't care anymore. I'm done with guys. I've even prayed that the Lord would take the desire for a husband away from me. (at least until I met him) It's always stayed with me but the Lord has always helped me through.

Also, something that has helped me is praying for my future spouse. I pray simple things like "Lord, give him a good day today" or for protection or just whatever comes to my mind. It helps me feel connected to him in a way. Might could give it a try.

I've done this too. It would make life so much easier and more enjoyable, wouldn't it? But alas, like yourself that desire has stayed with me...
Recently I found myself struggling with some emotional and financial challenges that kind of put me off wanting a relationship right now. Even though I know deep in my heart that I want to get married, I feel like my life is in such disorder right now that I don't know how I would be able to cultivate a healthy relationship with someone..

ugh, this feeling is a major bummer. I should just stop thinking/talking about it...

 

[redeemedbygrace24]

@ Jess

You're never going to be perfect. God will send you someone who accepts both you and your situation. Don't be down on yourself

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I've done this too. It would make life so much easier and more enjoyable, wouldn't it? But alas, like yourself that desire has stayed with me...
Recently I found myself struggling with some emotional and financial challenges that kind of put me off wanting a relationship right now. Even though I know deep in my heart that I want to get married, I feel like my life is in such disorder right now that I don't know how I would be able to cultivate a healthy relationship with someone..

ugh, this feeling is a major bummer. I should just stop thinking/talking about it...

I often feel this way too. I feel like I'm just not in a place to even think about marriage right now. Unless he's very rich! J/K

Seriously though I'm unemployed and just have no idea where I'm going in life so there's no way I could offer any financial support.

I have to believe that these desires will not be in vain ladies.

 

[jess9450]

I read this article today (even though it is a few months old) and thought it was interesting, especially where he talks about how churches seem to focus on teaching young adults that God will provide a mate for them because He did it for Adam and Eve, and Rebekah and Isaac.

Where Have the Men Gone?

I think it's all well and good to seek the Lord's guidance when approaching a new relationship, but I don't want to just wait around for a guy to show up and decide he's interested. Any suggestions on how to make yourself more available to Christian guys?

 

[redeemedbygrace24]

My pastor told me there are two ways of finding a husband.

A. Finding a good man and asking God to Bless The Relationship

B. A man finding you (God-Sent) *not everyone is God sent*

A good way IMO to meet guys would be godly fellowship events, random outings by yourself or with friends, MOST IMPORTANTLY just being yourself at any given time. Staying in prayer asking God to open your eyes because for some people, he's right there but you aren't noticing

 

[jess9450]

I really wish there were more available Christian guys in my church. Or even in my city. There's one group that meets on Sunday night that I've been thinking of going to, but I'm a little nervous about being the oldest one there - it's a young adults group - or being the only single there too. There's nothing quite like being the only single person in a group of young Christians...I don;t handle that feeling very well

 

[redeemedbygrace24]

Dont feel down God will open so many doors for you to network. That one event that you're so nervous about could allow you to meet new people. Disregard your fears and just try it. If you're still nervous afterwards, you can search for alternative events.

Fear can hold us back drastically from our blessings. Pray on it.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

Dont feel down God will open so many doors for you to network. That one event that you're so nervous about could allow you to meet new people. Disregard your fears and just try it. If you're still nervous afterwards, you can search for alternative events.

Fear can hold us back drastically from our blessings. Pray on it.

I concur this statement.

 

[jess9450]

redeemedbygrace24, SteadyMyHeart,

Thanks girls for the encouragement! I'm still not 100% confident that I will go tomorrow night, but I'm still on the fence about it at least!

I'm going to get out of the house and walk around outside - even though it's freezing! - and just spend time with God in nature. I've got so many issues swirling around in my mind that it's caused me so much stress, anxiety and pain that I need to just lay all of it at God's feet. Please, keep me in your prayers!

 

[m.a.r.X]

Matthew 6:31-33 - "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' {32} "For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. {33} "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

While I do have moments of sadness when I think about "stuff"...I choose to be happy !

Regarding being single, mine's gonna be an arranged marriage. I might have may be one month (?) to get to know her before saying yes in front of everyone. I was a bit worried about that but later, I got a promise from my heavenly father that I would have a wonderful girl as wife and I BELIEVE him.