Anorexia and bulimia, psychology of?

[xianlexavier]

Hello all

I didn't know where to post this so I'm posting it here. I have a friend who is a 20-something year old guy who has a problem with anorexia and bulimia (i hope i spelled these right!). Anyway, it seems to come and go with him but i'm getting worried because it's snuck it's way back into his life and i seen pictures and i'm just . . . very worried. He lives like, on the other side of the US from me, and we are online buddies, but I just can't get this problem of his out of my mind.

Does anyone know the psychology behind these two problems?

Also, what causes it? Can it be inherited?

I'm just curious because he's the only one I've met (online or in person) who has this problem in such a severe way.

Any advice I can give my buddy? I hate to see a friend in such bad health

 

[blessedmomof5]

The best thing you can do is just be there for him, be a true friend, not one that leaves when things get rough......and rememeber he will not get better until he is ready......nothing you can say or do will change that....just let him know u love and care about him......
God bless you Both
Denise

 

[madison1101]

People with eating disorderers, anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder, have trouble expressing feelings. Instead of dealing with anger, a person with an eating disorder will remain passive when angry, and then take that anger and use their negative eating behaviors to deal with the feelings. I binge when I am angry. Anorexics restrict and bulimics binge and purge.



In treatment, eatings disordered people learn to express emotions assertively and get their needs met in relationships. They also learn to make friends with food in healthy ways.



Big thing you can do for your friend is pray for him and suggest he seek treatment. He is obviously hurting inside and learned to cope this way.

 

[blessedmomof5]

trish,

I humbly disagree, sorry..... about the passiveness, i am not by any means passive if anything i am the complete oppisite..i am an in your face kinda person, but i will say that when i feel like i am banging my head against a wall with people, i take it out on myself.......so i really do not believe all anorexics are passive. I choose to starve myself, and when i do the starving becomes less and less, then you are no longer hungry...i will admit, i do B/P on occasion but i am the anorexic type..... someone needs to want to change, or else getting better will not work, IMHO.... i am the proof of that with being forced IP.....just a thought. hope there was no offense taken...

Denise

 

[madison1101]

trish,

I humbly disagree, sorry..... about the passiveness, i am not by any means passive if anything i am the complete oppisite..i am an in your face kinda person, but i will say that when i feel like i am banging my head against a wall with people, i take it out on myself.......so i really do not believe all anorexics are passive. I choose to starve myself, and when i do the starving becomes less and less, then you are no longer hungry...i will admit, i do B/P on occasion but i am the anorexic type..... someone needs to want to change, or else getting better will not work, IMHO.... i am the proof of that with being forced IP.....just a thought. hope there was no offense taken...

Denise

Denise, I am sorry, but I was speaking generally. There are exceptions of course, but usually, someone with eating disorders has trouble expressing emotions, especially anger, assertively. I, too, was a person who would flip out in anger and 4 years ago, that flipping out stopped, and I just started stuffing my anger. I have been eating disordered all my life, but it got worse when I stopped expressing my anger at all.

You are right about someone needing to want to change. It takes God's Holy Spirit to work in the heart and mind of a person who is hurting themselves. I was not really ready till this Fall. I played around with recovery, learning about myself in therapy, but just finally went and got the help, outpatient.

God bless. No offense taken.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[blessedmomof5]

Trish, you deserve nothing but the best, and i PRAY that God will help heal you, you so want it and are ready for it. you are always in my prayers and in my thoughts....keep up the Hard work bc i know it is hard for you, but i know u can do it with the help of the Lord.
Your sister in Christ
Denise

 

[xianlexavier]

Thank you ALL for commenting. This has helped me understand these eating disorders. I had no idea what to do, or even what they were.

Happy Holidays!

Love in Christ,
Lex