• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

Hopeful37

Active Member
Mar 20, 2020
357
218
Somewhere
✟49,318.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
I'm having anger issues lately.
I'm angry on the inside. I'm angry with myself and my choices. I'm angry that my choices led me to the position I am in today.

I've been having petty arguments at home. Sometimes it's me but sometimes it not. It's the people who know u the best who really do know how to get under your skin.

What's worse is when the other person decides to have the argument in public spaces. I do not take public embarrassment well. I've been raised to stand up for myself. Sometimes I feel mentally and verbally abused by this person. Needless to say I had a cuss fight in public today. Feel absolutely crappy after. I don't want to live this way and worse yet be cursing and fighting.

Living with the intrusions make it alot worse. Not only am I being abused outside but I'm also being abused on the inside as well. I'm under pressure like never before.

Sometimes it feels like I'm stiffling on the inside. I bottle my emotions alot and when I finally do release anger it comes out in the worse way. Over the years it has gotten better and I have God to thank for that. However since the intrusions started it's like everything is being compacted. I really don't want to be a harsh, hard, critical, cursing deviant.

I feel like a hypocrite and the other party makes me feel alot worse. Ohhh so you're going to church, you're such a f*ing hypocrite. I got called a harlot today. I just absolutely tripped. I'm not sexually active and haven't been for some time.

Im angry even writing this. I wanna cuss this person out again recalling the whole thing. I'm also hurting badly too. The intrusions are also reaffirming the things I've been called.

I'm clinging to God with everything I've got but God feels so distant to me right now. I'm searching for Him but I can't find Him. I'm trying to keep my peace but it's crap like this that happens that make me feel like it's really over for me. I know these are just feelings.

Please pray for me.
I really hate OCD. It's enough dealing with people as is.

It's this kinda crap that led me to do the crap that put me in this position....ohhh the irony!
 
  • Prayers
Reactions: 1 person

Rescued One

...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me
Dec 12, 2002
35,505
6,394
Midwest
✟78,426.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Widowed
I've never called people names that I can remember unless I called someone a liar when I was a kid. I've been called bad names but not by my husband. When I'm called a bad name, I ignore it. That must really annoy the person who wanted a reaction from me. Generally I don't associate with people who do that.

People who usually get angry with others are those who can't take criticism either. What you can do is not discuss their faults with them. And ignore their criticism of you or shock them and say, I'm "sorry." No interaction equals no argument.

As a teenager, I usually walked into another room when other people started to argue.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Upvote 0

Rescued One

...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me
Dec 12, 2002
35,505
6,394
Midwest
✟78,426.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Widowed
Helpful quote from Dale Carnagie:

Dale Carnegie Training allows teams and individuals the opportunity to attend leadership training seminars as well. The first principle that Dale Carnegie offered to his audience was “Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.” This ideal teaches us to be kind and thoughtful when considering other peoples' feelings.
Don't Criticize, Condemn, or Complain.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Hopeful37
Upvote 0

Hopeful37

Active Member
Mar 20, 2020
357
218
Somewhere
✟49,318.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Helpful quote from Dale Carnagie:

Dale Carnegie Training allows teams and individuals the opportunity to attend leadership training seminars as well. The first principle that Dale Carnegie offered to his audience was “Don't criticize, condemn, or complain.” This ideal teaches us to be kind and thoughtful when considering other peoples' feelings.
Don't Criticize, Condemn, or Complain.

Thank u for this. I read the article which is both interestingand helpful . I can incorporate this into my work, social and personal life. I actually stumbled across more helpful material reading the article. l found positive and encouraging resources that I can glean from at this time in my life.

Thank u Phoebe!
 
Last edited:
  • Winner
Reactions: 1 person
Upvote 0

covergirl

Newbie
Oct 4, 2014
137
48
✟13,316.00
Faith
Non-Denom
First thing is to own up to what you did or said. It doesn't matter if they started it, provoked you, or deserved it. Go to God first with everything you wrote here, apologize and ask Him to help change you. You must deal with why you get so angry. God will show you if you allow. Don't blame others. We all have went through that but ask Him to help you forgive others who have hurt you in life, whether or not you want to admit it. Love others for we are on a narrow path and life is short you never know what day we get called home or others. God won't hold it against you so don't let OCD guilt you. Once you truly are sorry and fir forgiveness, walk in it as it says in James 1 and don't doubt it. 2. Call up the other person and apologize, if you mean it, and just own to what you said without blaming them. Forgive them as well. There is a greater peace to all this.
 
Upvote 0

com7fy8

Well-Known Member
May 22, 2013
13,649
6,108
Massachusetts
✟583,330.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Needless to say I had a cuss fight in public today. Feel absolutely crappy after.
And so - - along with all of us - - - you have gotten your own personal proof that >

"the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (in James 1:19-20)

With this scripture we have >

"let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath".

So, while God does confront and so criticize worldly anger, also here our Father gives us such a great encouragement of how we can live . . . and love > by being >

"swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath".

This can be a pattern to help us. Yes, there are reasons to be angry for right reasons. But with that anger there needs to be the right way of handling things.

Now, anger can be the right reaction and the right confrontation against what is wrong, but also there needs to be the great hope and encouragement to all which is so better than what is wrong. Love "hopes all things", we have in 1 Corinthians 13:7.

Often, in God's word, you can read how God so strongly confronts something which is wrong, and He might express His own anger against it, but with the written confrontation there is also written a clear or implied encouragement to all which is so better.

So, if we are angry, I consider now, this needs to be caring . . . we are angry because of all the person could have instead of that person's wrong stuff. And so, then we act with hope for what can be so good for the person.

But we can get angry in a self-centered way, a self-seeking way, perhaps reacting to not getting some treasure pleasure we are dictating how we have to have it. So . . . get angry at that selfish anger, and get rid of it, and love instead.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Hopeful37
Upvote 0

Tolworth John

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Mar 10, 2017
8,278
4,680
68
Tolworth
✟369,559.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
. I bottle my emotions alot and when I finally do release anger it comes out in the worse way

Is there anyone you can talk to about your emotions and about expressing them in a healthy way?
Even if it is having a rant to God about how you are feeling.

I had a cuss fight in public today


May I suggest that when you have a row/arguments etc that you learn to express what that person's actions make you feel.

Person always makes sarcastic comments about you so in a row, don't call him all the names under the sun rather say, your constant belittling and undermining of my confidence tells me you have no respect for me and that devalues me.

It is a very hard lesson to learn, to argue/fight in a constructive way.

Of course if this person will not listen avoid being with them.
 
Upvote 0

Hopeful37

Active Member
Mar 20, 2020
357
218
Somewhere
✟49,318.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
And so - - along with all of us - - - you have gotten your own personal proof that >

"the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (in James 1:19-20)

With this scripture we have >

"let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath".

So, while God does confront and so criticize worldly anger, also here our Father gives us such a great encouragement of how we can live . . . and love > by being >

"swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath".

This can be a pattern to help us. Yes, there are reasons to be angry for right reasons. But with that anger there needs to be the right way of handling things.

Now, anger can be the right reaction and the right confrontation against what is wrong, but also there needs to be the great hope and encouragement to all which is so better than what is wrong. Love "hopes all things", we have in 1 Corinthians 13:7.

Often, in God's word, you can read how God so strongly confronts something which is wrong, and He might express His own anger against it, but with the written confrontation there is also written a clear or implied encouragement to all which is so better.

So, if we are angry, I consider now, this needs to be caring . . . we are angry because of all the person could have instead of that person's wrong stuff. And so, then we act with hope for what can be so good for the person.

But we can get angry in a self-centered way, a self-seeking way, perhaps reacting to not getting some treasure pleasure we are dictating how we have to have it. So . . . get angry at that selfish anger, and get rid of it, and love instead.
This is why I say I mess up time and time again. I do need to get those feelings under control. Most days I do it And clam up. But with slamming door, swear words and insults sometimes it's hard. Needless to say it's no excuse. I'd definitely be more diligent in this area. Today is a new day.
 
  • Winner
Reactions: com7fy8
Upvote 0

com7fy8

Well-Known Member
May 22, 2013
13,649
6,108
Massachusetts
✟583,330.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
I'd definitely be more diligent in this area. Today is a new day.
Thank you for sharing with us about your very personal and sensitive things. You have us and others to care in prayer for you; you are not alone.

And I have been one to angrily stalk around in circles in my room, for hours . . . at three in the morning.

And you say there is the need to be "diligent". Yes, I would say this has helped me a lot. And here you are reminding me of what I need to do. So, good for you :) You can be ministering to us what we need, while you do what you need!
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Hopeful37

Active Member
Mar 20, 2020
357
218
Somewhere
✟49,318.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Is there anyone you can talk to about your emotions and about expressing them in a healthy way?
Even if it is having a rant to God about how you are feeling.




May I suggest that when you have a row/arguments etc that you learn to express what that person's actions make you feel.

Person always makes sarcastic comments about you so in a row, don't call him all the names under the sun rather say, your constant belittling and undermining of my confidence tells me you have no respect for me and that devalues me.

It is a very hard lesson to learn, to argue/fight in a constructive way.

Of course if this person will not listen avoid being with them.
I've done the going to the person and talking about how I feel many many times.
It has now settled into silence. I have nothing to say and neither does the other person. Over many years I'm guessing it just turned into no longer wanting this person in my personal life although I care very deeply for them.

I need to work on handling my emotions when be critized and belittled.

Honestly the anger did nothing but make me look stupid in front my neighbours. They probably see me as a bad example. I'm trying to be consistent with church but when you're being called a hypocrite from someone that does really care for church and on top of that provoking you to act this way, its easy to see how he can win this battle. It's easy to see why people should be like...for true...hypocrite.

Ps - Re: talking to someone about my emotions..I'm doing that right here...lol

I did talk to God about it. I'm starting over again today. It's a new day. I'd be even more mindful of how i handle my anger even when angry.
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Hopeful37

Active Member
Mar 20, 2020
357
218
Somewhere
✟49,318.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Thank you for sharing with us about your very personal and sensitive things. You have us and others to care in prayer for you; you are not alone.

And I have been one to angrily stalk around in circles in my room, for hours . . . at three in the morning.

And you say there is the need to be "diligent". Yes, I would say this has helped me a lot. And here you are reminding me of what I need to do. So, good for you :) You can be ministering to us what we need, while you do what you need!
I don't like that Word ministering...I'd prefer to say on the matter, those resources I found last night was helpful to inspire and encourage me to just be the person I want to be today. Make the most of today. Forget yesterday and don't think about tomorrow. Do what I can today for today determines my tomorrow and I really shouldn't be worrying about it. I have been for a very long time.

Dale Carnegie had a way of expounding this so well in his book and it's also very scriptural. I believe that man was a servant of Christ and God gave him a gift to understand certain concepts.

I'm presently reading two of his books thanks to Phoebe.
How to stop worrying and start living
How to win and influence people

I'm going to find a bookstore I buy all his literature just to see what he has to say. In those books he made me see certain scriptures differently and also cause me to look at life differently. And I just read one chapter.

I saw helpful information for my personal and work life.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Mari17
Upvote 0

Tolworth John

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Mar 10, 2017
8,278
4,680
68
Tolworth
✟369,559.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
the anger did nothing but make me look stupid in front my neighbours. They probably see me as a bad example.

If it gives you an opportunity to talk about Jesus and how much we need him for salvation, as seen in your recent temper tantrum, then there is nothing to be ashamed of, other than having that incident.
None of us are perfect.
 
Upvote 0

Hopeful37

Active Member
Mar 20, 2020
357
218
Somewhere
✟49,318.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
If it gives you an opportunity to talk about Jesus and how much we need him for salvation, as seen in your recent temper tantrum, then there is nothing to be ashamed of, other than having that incident.
None of us are perfect.
I know but cussing out someone in front of my neighbours is not a good example for Christ. Who want what I have when I behave/react like a heathen. :help:We are called to be examples...have and maintain the peace. :amen:
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums