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blueskye

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I get so angry about the CA and PA I went through. As a Christian this is hard.....I don't feel angry at my abuser, I don't have issues around forgiveness, i get angry when people think i havent forgiven, I have...its complicated.
I suffer the general baggage of internal anger and frustration.:shutup::kyaa:

how to you all cope or don't you have that problem? :groupray:
 
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Bellicus

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I don't know what PA and CA is. Is PA physical abuse?

It is OK to feel angry and frustrated sometimes, just make sure that you just see the feelings like that like they are, and not let them overcome you and become destructive for you. Sometimes it helps to just put words to the feelings. Like "I am angry", "I feel hurt". etc. Often I notice it feels better when I just look at the feelings and see them like they are instead of riding them somewhere bad.

God bless you.
 
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Flibbertigibbet

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In Belicus' defense, he is from another country. Even I, as a person familiar with the usual acronyms, took a minute or so to puzzle out CA, since many just say PA or SA (sexual abuse) in my childhood.

Can you identify the object of your anger? Is it yourself, perhaps, or God, circumstances in general that allowed the abuse to happen? That seems to me to be a first step in being able to process it. You first need to know exactly what or whom you are angry with.
 
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blueskye

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:blush: yes, sorry Bellicus for coming across as irritable.

that is an example of my anger I guess.:sorry:

I don't know what i am angry with. It isn't God, like Job said, God can do what ever He likes. Overall, I have a pretty good and blessed life.

I am not angry with my abuser.

I am angry with people who have not endured suffering. I am jealous of them I think.
Not very Christian huh....
 
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Flibbertigibbet

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If you read through the threads you might have seen me say this a time or two. But in case you haven't I'll share it with you.

You say that you are angry with those who have not endured abuse. Perhaps that is because you feel that something is wrong with you. It is not.

I have come to learn that my experiences, although a negative at the time - without question - and for many years to come, once I dealt with them have become a positive. Because of what happened to you as a child, you have the capacity to use that and become a positive force in the lives of others.

In my own life, I have found that the sexual abuse I went through has enabled me to be more empathetic and to encourage and help those who are still suffering. There are so many "shameful" behaviors that grow out of childhood abuse, and so many people are embarassed and ashamed to talk about them - even with a counselor. I talk about my own experiences and the years of the aftermath so that people can understand that they are NOT alone, not weird, different, permanently damaged, etc.

It seems odd to say, I'll admit, and though I would never wish another child to go through that and do all that I can to ensure that they don't, I look upon it as a gift. I would not be the person that I am today had my life not unfolded just exactly as it has.

Pray, heal, and look for others who are also suffering to offer up your own experiences and share their pain as well. Much like those who are dealing with cancer and it's effects, the sharing of support and empathy from those who have trod (or are treading) the same path is incredibly healing.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.
 
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blueskye

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thankyou fibbertigibbert. It is hard to find others who have trod the same path though.let's hope I find some here.....I agree with all you have said.

(btw, the CA I refer to is neglect.as well as PA)

Well, I still have a lot of processing and healing to do.

Believe it or not, I only found out 12 months ago that I was abused.
I was too young to remember (or chose not to remember).

God showed me that I needed to find out the truth, so I went and got my file from social services and read the social workers detailed reports.
I was in denial for quite a while.
I have a way to go yet along the road......:scratch:
 
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