anger from a christian view..

[vigilantsoul]

I am having alot of trouble with my emotions, and do not know how to remain calm when dealing with my dysfuncional family, so in most situations I am staying away for this reason, I have so much anguish struck inside of me and when dealing with my mother and sister, and keeping it inside of me is giving me panic attacks and anxiety.
I was listening to joyce meyer and she says anger is an emotion that was given by God to each of us, but how you deal with it is important.
I see anger as a cancer eating at my self, so keeping it in is toxic, but I do not want to express this to my mother or sister, cause it will be like hitting heads on a brick wall, been there done it all.
How do I deal with anger from a christian view, it has to come out, it can't stay in me.
I appreciate any help and support, thankyou

 

[nowhereville]

First of all the word says be angry and sin not - it does not say, never be angry. I was told when I got prayer for healing that I needed to repent from my anger and I had to respectfully disagree. I didn't even know what I WAS angry until like a week before that and it wasn't like I was doing bad things behind it. It's not a sin to be angry.

You have to find something that works for you - a lot of people find writing helps - it doesn't work for me becaue I end up destrying the paper and the pen becuase it makes me MORE angry. I find that physical activity of any kind helps me - some people scream and some people beat pillows (that's not for me either, but I know it helps some folks).

So trust and believe you can be angry and sin not.

But yes, you do need to let it out.

 

[Johnnz]

Can you find someone who will really listen and support you? Just bottling anger up is not that helpful.

Sometimes we need to put some distance between our family so that we don't go on getting regularly hurt by them.

John
NZ

 

[BrokenWing]

Go outside, lie down, look up, and think of a sandy beach, or go outside, lie down under the car, and fix something.

I find that doing things requiring a lot of attention whereby you have to specifically think about the unsolvable problem, aren't good. They just intensify the feelings, like "writing it down on paper". Fixing things is good, because when you're done, you get the feeling that you managed to actually solve a problem, rather than wasted your time butting your head up against a brickwall, as you said. Of course it does suck when you shear some bolts, don't have replacements, and you have to be at work the next day... I always buy two of each now.

 

[unkern]

I used to have huge anger issues, I went to counseling, I wrote, I broke stuff with hammers, screamed in pillows, punched pillows, flexed every muscle, boxed. Some of the activities I did helped take some of the energy away from my anger, but it still burned.
The fruits of the spirit were needed in my life, especially the one that say be self controlled. I was not able to get rid of my anger until I picked up my cross, and most of all forgave the people that gave me the pent up anger.

I hope that you can win the battle as well God be with you

 

[Johnnz]

We often need to look at the issues behind the anger, as they often are the roots of what we experience. Each needs its own solution. Injustice (why me? It's not fair that my life got screwed up like this), helplessness, fear, pain (emotional and physical), sorrow (what I lost/did not have) defilement (I am a dirty, useless nobody that no one really wants to know) and just being angry that so few people seem to really understand where you are at.

John
NZ

 

[VictoryNGrace]

I feel you and boy do I feel you.. I had and still do some ammount of anger and man its hard and gives me huge headaches and just pent up energy that I could use on some thing else.. Mostly I just try and be calm and not so upset but alot of times I find myself writting but even that does help but it for me validates that yes I'm angry and yes I have a right to be.. But in the long run I have to find ways to allow God to help me in the anger and frustration.. I hope you do find a way to help you.. God bless...

VNG

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

The important thing to remember is that anger is a valid emotion. It's not necessarily about revenge, but instead allowing yourself to understand and feel that what happened was a violation of your rights. If facing your mother and sister won't work, have you tried talking to a trusted friend or even writing what you feel? I've found that writing a letter to the person I'm angry at really helps me, even if I don't end up sending it.

 

[.Sabre.]

I agree with Bamboo Chicken. It's not wrong to feel negative emotions, they are as much a part of you as positive emotions, but you need to find a healthy way to express that, like writing about it, as Bamboo Chicken has just said.

 

[Criada]

Something I have found enormously helpful to know is that God is big enough to take my anger.
I have screamed and yelled at Him so many times... because I know that He loves me, He understands, and He won't be offended or upset....
It helps...

 

[tbird_energizerbunny]

I feel you in this! I know exactly where you're coming from. And yes, anger can be a cancer, but it doesn't have to be. Forgiveness is the first step to being okay. Until you reach the place where you can forgive, all the other methods help zero. I've found that when I am angry, it is because in a way, those I'm angry at have taken something from me.

For example, my mom abused me really bad. One of the things that I can say about her is that she took away a normal childhood, she stole from me the chance to have working relationships or effortless relationships. She denied me the chance to learn about dealing with anger in healthy ways, and taught me instead to beat the crap out of people. (not good!) And i wrote down all the things she took from me, deprived from me or stole from me. And I said that you know what, she doesn't owe me anything, I have forgiven you. And any time any of those memories pop up, I just remember that they've been pardoned. Forgivness is the deleberate act of choosing not to let them hurt you anymore.

 

[fivepointTULIP]

For me, the most effective thing (especially where the abuse and control issues are ongoing, and I have to acknowledge that I'm not in a position where I can forgive yet) has been to have a membership at an inexpensive gym. (lots of gyms also have 2week free trials and such as well) I was able to go in for 20-40 minutes a day and work out all my stress and/or anger physically, but in a safe environment and a controlled way. Combine that with finding something I could control about my life- my eating habits- (I did the 6 small meals a day high protein and veggies thing) and I started getting those issues that were in my way addressed so I could deal with more pressing ones. By the way, I don't recommend going to control of your diet as the thing to use if you know you are prone to eating disorders.

Plus side is that I end up a lot more physically healthy and have more energy also. Which helped with the depression and emotional struggles.

Your mileage may vary, but the core idea is the same. Find a way to release your negatives that is also positive for you. For each person it will be unique, depending on their situation and personality.