My greatest weakness is the resentment i have within me. I came from a household with a physically and verbally abusive father. Although, he didnt quite hurt me. He hurt my loved ones. As result i had so much resentment inside, such that I feel i have something buried deep down inside of me. That aggression. That impulsiveness. My father tried to control my family through physical violence. When he couldn't, he was so angry such that it ruined his life. He knows that, his nothing but miserable. I'm afraid i might end up like him, because my thoughts are bombarded with anger and refusal to let go of the past. I get so defensive when i see toxic people. Its like i'm inflicting the anger inside of me on them. The anger. The kind of hostility I grew up with, its difficult to truly move with people, with the kind of emotions i'm feeling. Christ, is the closest thing to really free me from my struggles cause i gotten further than anything, before i had him in my life.
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anger and resentment.
- Thread starter kenneth nathan
- Start date
I used to have a lot of anger and resentment too.. Not for the same reasons as you, but it was still there due to other issues.
What I found, almost accidentally, is that knowledge and science cures it. Once you know and understand why someone acts the way they do, it stops affecting you. Once you have enough of an understanding and enough comprehension, you not only begin to insulate yourself from being influenced by others behavior, you begin to be able to predict it and even neutralize it in some instances.
Its an amazing thing once you realize why others do the things they do... it makes it easier to forgive them and to frame their actions in such ways that the effects on you become minimal.
Pretty much every person you will ever encounter contains the same list of behavioral ingredients.. Quite like every candy bar contains the same basic list of ingredients. Change the ratio of those ingredients and you have a new candy bar. People are pretty much the same. We all want to be loved, respected, wealthy, healthy, wise, etc etc.. We all carry a "toolbox" of reactive behaviors.. some folks have more tools in their box than others.. The more educated you are, the more tools you tend to have to choose from for any given situation.
It really does make a difference to learn and understand things.. there's nothing else like it.
What I found, almost accidentally, is that knowledge and science cures it. Once you know and understand why someone acts the way they do, it stops affecting you. Once you have enough of an understanding and enough comprehension, you not only begin to insulate yourself from being influenced by others behavior, you begin to be able to predict it and even neutralize it in some instances.
Its an amazing thing once you realize why others do the things they do... it makes it easier to forgive them and to frame their actions in such ways that the effects on you become minimal.
Pretty much every person you will ever encounter contains the same list of behavioral ingredients.. Quite like every candy bar contains the same basic list of ingredients. Change the ratio of those ingredients and you have a new candy bar. People are pretty much the same. We all want to be loved, respected, wealthy, healthy, wise, etc etc.. We all carry a "toolbox" of reactive behaviors.. some folks have more tools in their box than others.. The more educated you are, the more tools you tend to have to choose from for any given situation.
It really does make a difference to learn and understand things.. there's nothing else like it.
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Kristen.NewCreation
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It's good you see in yourself things that you need to change. That gives you the opportunity and ability to change.
Have you heard of the book, Anger Management by Daniel Hall? It's an easy read and has some steps in the back like an inventory. I downloaded it from Kindle (free app for various software and phones).
Have you heard of the book, Anger Management by Daniel Hall? It's an easy read and has some steps in the back like an inventory. I downloaded it from Kindle (free app for various software and phones).
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We cannot undo the past, Kenneth, as I feel sure you realize, but we can GET a new outlook from the Christian perspective (which you also mentioned). You will need to LIVE that new life in Jesus Christ. Make Him your Savior and lord of your life, and your best Friend. Walk and talk with Him daily and live for Him in devotion. Things will get better (especially when you are not living with your father). One should honor their father and mother, and that means to not oppose them and cause any trouble, but living away from them might be needed. You can always try to be a witness for the new life in Christ when around them, but need to not get into controversy. LIVE the life God intends for His children. Consider these things prayerfully, Ken!
Not all saints of God were born in a nice Christian home (I was not), and we who trust and know the Lord Jesus, will need to begin our own way with Him. Keep praying for your parents, but don't subscribe to those harmful ways or worry about thoughts of the past. Take a stand for the Lord in your heart, and allow your parents to choose for themselves what they will do and believe.
Do you have daily Bible readings? I recommend reading a chapter a day in the New Testament, and maybe first read all of John 14 and pray for help in your understanding. Bring every thought to the Lord (see 2 Cor. 10:5). Write me anytime, and I am praying for you.
Not all saints of God were born in a nice Christian home (I was not), and we who trust and know the Lord Jesus, will need to begin our own way with Him. Keep praying for your parents, but don't subscribe to those harmful ways or worry about thoughts of the past. Take a stand for the Lord in your heart, and allow your parents to choose for themselves what they will do and believe.
Do you have daily Bible readings? I recommend reading a chapter a day in the New Testament, and maybe first read all of John 14 and pray for help in your understanding. Bring every thought to the Lord (see 2 Cor. 10:5). Write me anytime, and I am praying for you.
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