The he I'm referring to is an elder at my church, though I hesitate in using the e-word for someone who is only five years older than I. Last year, almost to the day, a girl my girlfriend brought to church went up front to answer the altar call. I went, too, feeling it my duty to support my girlfriend and her friend, and when I went, this particular elder pulled me aside and asked me if it was alright for him to pray with me. Of course it was, I was thrilled actually, having just quit one job under rather bad circumstances and accepted another job I didn't want to try and make ends meet. This elder spoke words of encouragement, touching on the situation in my life. I remember most cleary his admonishment to me to not stray from my dreams, that God had planted them in my heart for a purpose, for His purpose. I didn't dare confirm what he was saying or ask for confirmation, but I immedately knew he was speaking of my writing.
Fast forward to today. Actually, a month ago. I'd been attending this elder's Sunday School class and gotten to know him better, learned that he was an attorney and a professor, a hard-working, no-nonsense man. The kind of man who would surly look down on somebody with a pipe dream of being a writer. I guess that's why I was so stubborn in my refusal to submit to God's will when he told me to go to this man and ask for annointing for my writing. The day He told me, I refused. A week later, I refused. Week after that, same story. Then there was a church-wide revival. An evangelist gave me this word from God--"you don't have to be anybody but yourself." This was particularly prophetic to me, because God had been dealing with me about this for a while. Myself is a grumpy, crusty, antisocial person. Myself became hated at my last job because I just couldn't bring myself to play the butt-kissing games that it took to advance there. Myself has always been misunderstood by those around me. Myself has always been outspoken and opinionated, analytical and sometimes judgemental, but unyielding in my demand for moral fortitude from everyone around me. Myself was somebody I was trying to hide, somebody I was trying to change so I could get a good job and advance up the ladder, so I could be liked in my church and respected by those who respected me. Myself was somebody I didn't want to be, until a little evangelist from Winchester told me the very words God had been speaking to my heart for weeks.
In light of this revelation, I began to ask myself, who am I? I found only one real, solid, legitimate answer. I am a writer. It's the only thing that brings joy to my life. It's the only thing I can ever see myself doing and being happy, it's the only thing I can ever imagine finding fulfillment in. It's the only thing I've ever done that gave me a sense of completion.
So, today, the pastor preached on annointing. He asked everyone who wanted an annointing to come up front and be prayed for. I went. The elder God told me to seek out came to me. He prayed for me. He annoined my hands with oil. He spoke words of great encouragement. He asked God to bless my hands, to let words of wisdom and ministry flow from them. He told me he was excited about what God was going to do through my writing.
I never really knew what it would feel like to have encouragement like that. I wish I'd done it sooner, but as I took a moment to pray at the altar alone, I realize that this was God's perfect timing. He knows I'm as stubborn as a mule and He planted this desire in my heart a month ago because He knew I wouldn't act on it until today. Isn't He sneaky? Isn't He magnificent?
I love the Lord with all my heart and I pray that He will use this annointing to His glory. Anyone who feels the way I do about writing, I encourage you to seek an elder in your church and ask for prayer. You can't imagine the focus, the clarity, and the confidence that comes from having God's blessings for your craft.
The words I write are not my own. They are mearly conduits through which God has expressed to me His love. I find that everything I write is a lesson for myself, a nugget for my own enjoyment and edification. I pray now that these hands will craft ideas for others to learn from, take joy in, and grow because of. I pray now that this annointing never passes, never ceases, and is never misused. I pray also that this story will touch someone and inspire them to seek God's blessing upon their own writing.
Fast forward to today. Actually, a month ago. I'd been attending this elder's Sunday School class and gotten to know him better, learned that he was an attorney and a professor, a hard-working, no-nonsense man. The kind of man who would surly look down on somebody with a pipe dream of being a writer. I guess that's why I was so stubborn in my refusal to submit to God's will when he told me to go to this man and ask for annointing for my writing. The day He told me, I refused. A week later, I refused. Week after that, same story. Then there was a church-wide revival. An evangelist gave me this word from God--"you don't have to be anybody but yourself." This was particularly prophetic to me, because God had been dealing with me about this for a while. Myself is a grumpy, crusty, antisocial person. Myself became hated at my last job because I just couldn't bring myself to play the butt-kissing games that it took to advance there. Myself has always been misunderstood by those around me. Myself has always been outspoken and opinionated, analytical and sometimes judgemental, but unyielding in my demand for moral fortitude from everyone around me. Myself was somebody I was trying to hide, somebody I was trying to change so I could get a good job and advance up the ladder, so I could be liked in my church and respected by those who respected me. Myself was somebody I didn't want to be, until a little evangelist from Winchester told me the very words God had been speaking to my heart for weeks.
In light of this revelation, I began to ask myself, who am I? I found only one real, solid, legitimate answer. I am a writer. It's the only thing that brings joy to my life. It's the only thing I can ever see myself doing and being happy, it's the only thing I can ever imagine finding fulfillment in. It's the only thing I've ever done that gave me a sense of completion.
So, today, the pastor preached on annointing. He asked everyone who wanted an annointing to come up front and be prayed for. I went. The elder God told me to seek out came to me. He prayed for me. He annoined my hands with oil. He spoke words of great encouragement. He asked God to bless my hands, to let words of wisdom and ministry flow from them. He told me he was excited about what God was going to do through my writing.
I never really knew what it would feel like to have encouragement like that. I wish I'd done it sooner, but as I took a moment to pray at the altar alone, I realize that this was God's perfect timing. He knows I'm as stubborn as a mule and He planted this desire in my heart a month ago because He knew I wouldn't act on it until today. Isn't He sneaky? Isn't He magnificent?
I love the Lord with all my heart and I pray that He will use this annointing to His glory. Anyone who feels the way I do about writing, I encourage you to seek an elder in your church and ask for prayer. You can't imagine the focus, the clarity, and the confidence that comes from having God's blessings for your craft.
The words I write are not my own. They are mearly conduits through which God has expressed to me His love. I find that everything I write is a lesson for myself, a nugget for my own enjoyment and edification. I pray now that these hands will craft ideas for others to learn from, take joy in, and grow because of. I pray now that this annointing never passes, never ceases, and is never misused. I pray also that this story will touch someone and inspire them to seek God's blessing upon their own writing.
