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An Open Marriage

brinny

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Thanks for finally giving your opinion.
As I hinted earlier, you could have done so right away. None of the questions you asked was necessary or helpful for you arriving at your conclusion. It´s been your premise all along, after all.

All questions are necessary and should be asked, especially if attempting to gain clarity.

Do you object to them?

It seemed to me that this was seeming to be a "hobby" of sorts. Of COURSE i'm going to ask questions.
 
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quatona

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All questions are necessary and should be asked, especially if attempting to gain clarity.
No.
Some questions are just asked to waste the other person´s time, for example.
Some questions are completely irrelevant for the topic discussed.
Some questions are just leading or loaded questions.
Some questions are just rhethorical questions.
Some questions are asked to obsfucate.
Some questions are unnecassarily repetitive.

Just to name a few sorts of questions that are completely unnecessary to ask, imo, and even less necessary to answer.
 
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brinny

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No.
Some questions are just asked to waste the other person´s time, for example.
Some questions are completely irrelevant for the topic discussed.
Some questions are just leading or loaded questions.
Some questions are just rhethorical questions.
Some questions are asked to obsfucate.
Some questions are unnecassarily repetitive.

Just to name a few sorts of questions that are completely unnecessary to ask, imo, and even less necessary to answer.

You are entitled to your opinion, of course.
 
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brinny

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If this is a hobby or a recreational activity, one wonders how these married couples fare after time....

for instance, are they more happy, more stable, more content, more healthy (both mentally and physically), and experience peace.

jus' sayin'

decision-making-processes1.jpg
 
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brinny

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So are you.
I wasn´t aware that this was necessary to mention, in your circles.
But seeing that you feel you are the one to grant it to me - I´m very grateful for this generosity.

You are most welcome.

Happy to oblige.

And thank you for assuring me that i am entitled to my opinion as well.

I was waiting with bated breath.
 
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brinny

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Apparently an example of open marriage is called a triad.

triad, possibly from a kid's perspective:

Mom and Dad. Mom and her girlfriend. Dad and the same girlfriend (or the other way around).
 
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quatona

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Apparently an example of open marriage is called a triad.

triad, possibly from a kid's perspective:

Mom and Dad. Mom and her girlfriend. Dad and the same girlfriend (or the other way around).
Lot´s of love going on - from the kid´s perspective.
Unless the kid´s been raised with jealousy-generating means and methods from early on.
OTOH: more potential for worrying conflicts among the adults - from the kid´s perspective.
 
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brinny

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quatona

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brinny

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A kid feeling embarrassed by the conduct of her parents? Gosh, it didn´t require polyamory for that to become a regular part of growing up.

interesting take on it.

All three of them, mom, dad, (and their girlfriend) were being demonstrably inappropriate with each other in the classroom at a parent-teacher conference with the teacher, other parents, other students, and this adolescent daughter present.
 
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heatedmonk

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Apparently an example of open marriage is called a triad.

triad, possibly from a kid's perspective:

Mom and Dad. Mom and her girlfriend. Dad and the same girlfriend (or the other way around).
And dad and his boyfriend.

This really isn't a hard question for Christians is it? Polyandrous marriage isn't of God. Open marriage is heathen, not Christian. Christians clarify from that perspective and they're mocked for it. Telling, isn't it?
 
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brinny

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And dad and his boyfriend.

This really isn't a hard question for Christians is it? Polyandrous marriage isn't of God. Open marriage is heathen, not Christian. Christians clarify from that perspective and they're mocked for it. Telling, isn't it?

The twisted-ness and unhealthiness of it, especially for children, is squelched...until they're older and have the courage to speak out.
 
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heatedmonk

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The twisted-ness and unhealthiness of it, especially for children, is squelched...until they're older and have the courage to speak out.
I'd like to see the statistics , if they would exist, as to how such children fare when they're grown and entering into their own relationships.
Dysfunctional family models one would think hardwire children to become confused and dysfunctional themselves.

Why would someone get married to one person, which is the only union allowed for now by law, and then want to commit adultery?
A security blanket of sorts. Fool around with whomever and always have a wife or husband to come home to. It's immature, imo.
 
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brinny

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I'd like to see the statistics , if they would exist, as to how such children fare when they're grown and entering into their own relationships.
Dysfunctional family models one would think hardwire children to become confused and dysfunctional themselves.

Why would someone get married to one person, which is the only union allowed for now by law, and then want to commit adultery?
A security blanket of sorts. Fool around with whomever and always have a wife or husband to come home to. It's immature, imo.

they call it a "Triad".

The question is, if there's any jealousy/resentment, etc (even if it's sorta' "hidden") and may not surface till much later...)

and then there's the divorce rate....

who gets custody of the children?
 
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brinny

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Children Benefit – Not
To sell this package of polyamory to be a product that benefits children, using the sales pitch that it is more love for the child – is not being truly self aware. I mention this because the sales pitch that many in polyamorous relationships who have children are inferring directly is that those children are better off than monogamous ones. This is stated with the reference that they will receive more love, and that love by many (mother, father, mother’s lover/lovers and/or father’s lover/lovers) is oh so much better. This is just a rationalization for the adult to feel better about a choice they are making that is not consistent with the societal norm, so that they don’t feel like they are doing something potentially hurtful to their children. Rather the opposite is true. It is a higher increased likelihood that there is more of the chance that the child will experience abandonment feelings than not. Rather than feeling more loved, they will feel less of a priority and rather mommy and daddy’s needs are the priority, not mine. These children are not receiving more love and thus are better off with parents who live a polyamorous lifestyle than those living a monogamous lifestyle. They are receiving more loss and thus either go through life mourning and grieving, or they learn to shut themselves off to love knowing it will end once a breakup occurs- that is out of their control.

http://www.drkarenruskin.com/polyamory-not-healthy-for-children/
 
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Meowzltov

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To understand this, you have to look at the reasons for marriage in the first place, and they have nothing to do with love.
  • To form an economic partnership
  • To know who has a right to have sex with whom (most murders are over women)
  • To raise children in a stable home
While polygamy can fit these parameters (and historically has been recognized as marriage) an open marriage does not. The others whom one sleeps with one does not form an economic partnership with. One has a right to have sex with everyone, which ends up causing all the problems with jealousy that marriage is supposed to stop. And the biggest problem of all is that children are born that are not those of the married couple, leading to the homelife being less stable as kids go back and forth between different homes to see different parents.
 
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Mister_Al

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Another reason for marriage is to genetically stabilize the family line of the offspring. Otherwise there is no telling what comes into the family line from outside sexual encounters.

It's not all about "fun and games" as some would like to believe. Being in an open marriage can be compared to the sexual habits of a herd of buffalo (or other animals) with no thought being given to the outcome of their actions.

Alan
 
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Cearbhall

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Another reason for marriage is to genetically stabilize the family line of the offspring. Otherwise there is no telling what comes into the family line from outside sexual encounters.

It's not all about "fun and games" as some would like to believe. Being in an open marriage can be compared to the sexual habits of a herd of buffalo (or other animals) with no thought being given to the outcome of their actions.
This sounds a bit archaic. I don't see how having a kid with Person B would be more genetically harmful than having a kid with one's spouse. No one's worried about "bad blood" or whatever. Either way, there are a variety of options available, such as birth control and safe abortions. There's no mystery involved. People get to choose who they have children with.
 
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