An Open Marriage

[Jack of Spades]

Your reply is a perfect example of how much our morals have degraded in this nation.

Rest assured that my morals are not going to bring brimstone upon your nation, because I'm citizen of another country.

At the risk of sounding religious: Does the names Sodom and Gomorrah sound familiar?

I think those were cities, from where God rescued Lot who was relative of "Father of faith" Abraham, who had sexual relationship with his wifes servant. Sarah was the one suggesting the arrangement btw and I'm under impression that Abraham and Sarah were married.

 

[SoldierOfTheKing]

The vows are made for human

...but not for the one making the vows.

 

[Cearbhall]

Yes it is.

Alan

Then you understand now that there is no cheating involved? Such comments are irrelevant.

 

[brinny]

An Open Marriage

Can you tell me why an open marriage is sin not using religious reasons? Two married couple who love each other and have no problem seeing other people: there's no jealousy, no animosity, no hatred, they just let each other be free. And they always use protection and gets tested.

I remember when I use to look at porn, there was a married guy on there; and I saw his interview with his wife and kids, and they were OK with what he did. In fact, she loved what he did. How is this wrong, not using religious reasons?

How does love fit in?

Do they love the others they are having intimate relations with?

Is it a hobby?

 

[quatona]

An Open Marriage


How does love fit in?

Do they love the others they are having intimate relations with?

I guess that´s different from case to case.

So, out of interest:
What would be your response if the answer is yes?
What would be your response if the answer is no?

Is it a hobby?

As opposed to professional business?

 

[Jack of Spades]

Is it a hobby?

Lifestyle maybe? Or the couples understanding of how to live sexually fulfilling life?

I think if there's love involved, then we're practically talking about polygamous relationship, which I find to not be exactly the same thing as open relationship.

 

[brinny]

I guess that´s different from case to case.

So, out of interest:
What would be your response if the answer is yes?
What would be your response if the answer is no?


As opposed to professional business?

Therein lies the point of why mention that this couple "loved" each other? Was there a point to mentioning that?

No, just what i asked ...

is it a hobby?

 

[brinny]

Lifestyle maybe? Or the couples understanding of how to live sexually fulfilling life?

I think if there's love involved, then we're practically talking about polygamous relationship, which I find to not be exactly the same thing as open relationship.

That is what i was beginning to wonder about, especially since "love" was mentioned.....

did they love everyone they engaged in sexual intimacy with?

 

[quatona]

Therein lies the point of why mention that this couple "loved" each other? Was there a point to mentioning that?

No, just what i asked ...

Sorry, I am not understanding you at this point.
I am assuming the point in mentioning that they love each other wasn´t anything beyond stating it.
Now let´s assume they love one or more other persons, too.

is it a hobby?

"an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation" (dictionary.com)
From my experience and observation, an open relationship or marriage is more than a hobby, just like a closed relationship or marriage is more than a hobby. It´s not a mere activity or interest, to begin with.

 

[brinny]

quatona, re: post #69, what is the point of mentioning this couple loved one another as a preface before the rest of what was posted?

But ok, there it is.

They love each other.

They engage in sexual intimacy with others.

Do they love these "others" as well?

 

[quatona]

quatona, re: post #69, what is the point of mentioning this couple loved one another as a preface before the rest of what was posted?

But ok, there it is.

They love each other.

They engage in sexual intimacy with others.

Do they love these "others" as well?

Yes.

 

[brinny]

brinny said: ↑
quatona, re: post #69, what is the point of mentioning this couple loved one another as a preface before the rest of what was posted?

But ok, there it is.

They love each other.

They engage in sexual intimacy with others.

Do they love these "others" as well?

Yes.

Why be married?

 

[quatona]

Why be married?

For pretty much all the reasons other people are married for - unless we are assuming that for everybody else the sole purpose of marriage is to make a claim on someone else´s sexuality exclusively.

 

[brinny]

For pretty much all the reasons other people are married for - unless we are assuming that for everybody else the sole purpose of marriage is to make a claim on someone else´s sexuality exclusively.

What reasons might they be?

And if this couple loves everyone with whom they engage in sexual intimacy with, does that mean there are more marriages on the horizon? Maybe a group wedding?

 

[quatona]

What reasons might they be?

Please, brinny, try not to be complicated with me.
If you want to make a point, make it - don´t play 21 questions with me.
Which of all the reasons people are married for are the reasons this couple is married for isn´t mentioned in the description. Why would I guess?

And if this couple loves everyone with whom they engage in sexual intimacy with, does that mean there are more marriages on the horizon?

Probably not. As far as I know you can only be married only one person, legally.
Unless we are talking about other countries.

Maybe a group wedding?

Probably not, for the same reasons.

But I think if you are out for hypothetizing their intentions and plans, you can do it yourself. Why make me do it?
Particularly since it doesn´t seem to have anything to do with the thread question.

 

[brinny]

Please, brinny, try not to be complicated with me.
If you want to make a point, make it - don´t play 21 questions with me.
Which of all the reasons people are married for are the reasons this couple is married for isn´t mentioned in the description. Why would I guess?


Probably not. As far as I know you can only be married only one person, legally.
Unless we are talking about other countries.

Probably not, for the same reasons.

But I think if you are out for hypothetizing their intentions and plans, you can do it yourself. Why make me do it?
Particularly since it doesn´t seem to have anything to do with the thread question.

Your responses evoked more questions.

Nevertheless, back to my original post where i mentioned that possibly it's a hobby.

It's just that the word "love" was used.

It makes it most interesting.

Speaking of "complicated", the subject of this thread is.

Thus the questions.

 

[quatona]

Your responses evoked more questions.

Questions which I can´t answer because I don´t know more about the couple´s intentions than you do.
If the reasons for being married are, in your opinion, of relevance for the thread question, you can make it simple and give those reasons you feel are not legitimate.

Nevertheless, back to my original post where i mentioned that possibly it's a hobby.

Has been answered.

It's just that the word "love" was used.

It makes it most interesting.

Yes, "love", one of the great topics in life, literature, theater and movies. Everyone is interested in it.

Speaking of "complicated", the subject of this thread is.

Too complicated to have or voice a moral opinion about it? (To be honest, I don´t believe that. I believe that you have a very decisive moral opinion about it, and no matter what the answers to those plenty of question - they wouldn´t change it. )

 

[brinny]

quatona, re: post #77...

nah, it sounds like a hobby.

What else could it possibly be?

It's recreation.

Simple as that.

No reason to bring "love" into it.

Unless there's a definition of "love" that i'm not familiar with?

Are there any statistics on how these marriages fare over time when one of their hobbies is sexual intimacy with multiple partners?

 

[quatona]

quatona, re: post #77...

nah, it sounds like a hobby.

A personal relationship doesn´t match the definition of "hobby".

What else could it possibly be?

It's recreation.

Simple as that.

Being part of an open relationship myself, I can tell you that having two partners you are committed to isn´t predominantly "recreational". It doubles your responsibilities and everything that makes a closed partnership more than a recreational hobby.

No reason to bring "love" into it.

Right, they needn´t bring love to it - but when it´s there it´s there. It needn´t be attempted to be taken out of it.
And I think one of the few things we can agree upon is that a relationship with love is better than one without love.

Unless there's a definition of "love" that i'm not familiar with?

Shall we take a look at the dictionary? I´m pretty sure the majority of definitions of "love" don´t mention sexual exclusivity. Wanna bet?

Are there any statistics on how these marriages fare over time when one of their hobbies is sexual intimacy with multiple partners?

I don´t know. Seeing the statistics on marriage in general, I suspect they don´t fare much worse that those marriage in which one of their hobbies is to claim sexual possession of each other and restrict each others´ expressions of life.

 

[Armoured]

Can you tell me why an open marriage is sin not using religious reasons? Two married couple who love each other and have no problem seeing other people: there's no jealousy, no animosity, no hatred, they just let each other be free. And they always use protection and gets tested.

I remember when I use to look at porn, there was a married guy on there; and I saw his interview with his wife and kids, and they were OK with what he did. In fact, she loved what he did. How is this wrong, not using religious reasons?

Nothing is sin "not using religious reasons". It isn't even necessarily unethical, if everyone involved agrees to it with full prior knowledge and consent. That doesn't however, mean its a great idea. Human emotions are complex. Hows the marriage going to cope when someone develops emotions they shouldn't? You'd want the safest sex imaginable, because even the happiest, most open of marriages might not survive an unexpected baby involving a 3rd party.

Just to consider.