An Excellent Wife

[GospelS]

(Hello, this thread is to discuss the role of a woman as a 'helper suitable' for her man, according to God's creation plan. I hope to share a little bit on that each day as God leads me. For women of God in general please see Who is She? and for the women of God in the Bible please see The Godly Woman).

Being an excellent wife is about fulfilling her role according to God's design. Excellence will flow from her relationship with God. I see Proverbs 31 as a list of characteristics a wife will possess when she places God first.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

 

[com7fy8]

After people get married is when they can find out who they married.

In the case of marrying a real lady of Jesus, my opinion is the guy will keep discovering how she is more than he was looking for and hoping for. There are things you might not be able to tell, before you actually live with each other and grow into more and more of the good God has for you.

After all, God is better than we are, and more. So, how He blesses will keep bringing us to better than what we now can think and hope for.

Even so . . . God's word has things to escort us in this discovering

"Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them." (Colossians 3:19)

So, from this I see how the man never has any excuse for giving in to bitterness. So, as soon as anything starts in me, which could get me bitter . . . right away, I need to stop and resist that while God corrects me into how I need to be loving, instead. No matter what she does, I am never excused to give in to bitterness, never try to lord myself over her, to control her from what she says or does that can get me bitter > instead, rather than first trying to change her, first make sure I myself am not giving into bitterness and a controlling spirit >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

So, my wife can help me, by refusing to give in to any kind of bitterness . . . so she is always ready to follow my good example of this. And this can encourage me to do the same which God requires of me, so she has my good example to help her.

 

[Willing-heart]

@gospels, I remember reading a thread recently you said about a guy telling you that he was looking for a Proverbs 31 woman, and you told him something along the line that you also wanted Proverbs 1-31 man. Haha! that was brilliant!

 

[GospelS]

@gospels, I remember reading a thread recently you said about a guy telling you that he was looking for a Proverbs 31 woman, and you told him something along the line that you also wanted Proverbs 1-31 man. Haha! that was brilliant!

Thank you

 

[Willing-heart]

Thank you

To think about it, I once tricked my pastor into studying the book of proverbs with me. haha! I feel bad about it now. He wanted to spend some time with me so to help me in my spiritual growth and fellowship, and so I asked if we could study all Proverbs together. Sadly we didn't get to the end of it, but we studied about the first 10 chapters together which was all a blessing to me and him too

 

[GospelS]

After people get married is when they can find out who they married.

In the case of marrying a real lady of Jesus, my opinion is the guy will keep discovering how she is more than he was looking for and hoping for. There are things you might not be able to tell, before you actually live with each other and grow into more and more of the good God has for you.

After all, God is better than we are, and more. So, how He blesses will keep bringing us to better than what we now can think and hope for.

Even so . . . God's word has things to escort us in this discovering

"Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them." (Colossians 3:19)

So, from this I see how the man never has any excuse for giving in to bitterness. So, as soon as anything starts in me, which could get me bitter . . . right away, I need to stop and resist that while God corrects me into how I need to be loving, instead. No matter what she does, I am never excused to give in to bitterness, never try to lord myself over her, to control her from what she says or does that can get me bitter > instead, rather than first trying to change her, first make sure I myself am not giving into bitterness and a controlling spirit >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

So, my wife can help me, by refusing to give in to any kind of bitterness . . . so she is always ready to follow my good example of this. And this can encourage me to do the same which God requires of me, so she has my good example to help her.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

 

[Yeshua HaDerekh]

(Hello, I'm creating this thread to discuss the role of a woman as a 'helper suitable' for her man, according to God's creation plan. I hope to share a little bit on that each day as God leads me. For women of God in general please see Who is She? and for the women of God in the Bible please see The Godly Woman).

Being an excellent wife is about fulfilling her role according to God's design. Excellence will flow from her relationship with God. I see Proverbs 31 as a list of characteristics a wife will possess when she places God first.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

On Shabbat, after singing “Shalom Aleichem”, the husband recites "a Woman of Valor” (called Eshet Chayil in Hebrew) to his wife. Eshet Chayil is a 22 verse poem which King Solomon concludes the book of Proverbs.

A woman of valor who can find?
She is more precious than rubies.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And because of her he lacks nothing.

She does him good and not evil,
Every day of her life.

She opens her hand to the poor,
She is sensitive to the needy.

She is robed in strength and dignity;
She confidently faces whatever may come.

Her speech reflects wisdom,
Loving kindness guides her tongue.

Her children rise up to call her blessed,
Her husband publicly praises her:

“Many daughters have done superbly,
but you have surpassed them all!”

Charm is an illusion, and beauty is vane,
But a God revering woman merits true praise.

Place before her the fruit of her hands,
For wherever people gather,
her deeds speak her praise.

 

[GospelS]

On Shabbat, after singing “Shalom Aleichem”, the husband recites "a Woman of Valor” (called Eshet Chayil in Hebrew) to his wife. Eshet Chayil is a 22 verse poem which King Solomon concludes the book of Proverbs.

A woman of valor who can find?
She is more precious than rubies.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And because of her he lacks nothing.

She does him good and not evil,
Every day of her life.

She opens her hand to the poor,
She is sensitive to the needy.

She is robed in strength and dignity;
She confidently faces whatever may come.

Her speech reflects wisdom,
Loving kindness guides her tongue.

Her children rise up to call her blessed,
Her husband publicly praises her:

“Many daughters have done superbly,
but you have surpassed them all!”

Charm is an illusion, and beauty is vane,
But a God revering woman merits true praise.

Place before her the fruit of her hands,
For wherever people gather,
her deeds speak her praise.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[RDKirk]

(Hello, I'm creating this thread to discuss the role of a woman as a 'helper suitable' for her man, according to God's creation plan. I hope to share a little bit on that each day as God leads me. For women of God in general please see Who is She? and for the women of God in the Bible please see The Godly Woman).

Being an excellent wife is about fulfilling her role according to God's design. Excellence will flow from her relationship with God. I see Proverbs 31 as a list of characteristics a wife will possess when she places God first.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

A man who hopes for a Proverbs 31 wife must strive to be a Proverbs 31 husband.

Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.

The Proverbs 31 husband is a man of public renown and virtue. I'm not saying every man can be such a man, but if we want women to aspire to be Proverbs 31 women, then men should aspire to be Proverbs 31 men. You have to be a 10 to rightly expect to get a 10.

I need point out what Genesis is actually saying about Eve being a "suitable helper" for Adam. The Hebrew word used for "helper" here is נגדו (ezer).

Ezer is used 48 times in the Old Testament. Forty-five times, it refers directly to God Himself, such as Psalm 46. Two times, it refers to an army coming to save God's people, like the cavalry in the final reel of an old western movie. One time, it refers to a woman.

If we let scripture interpret scripture, then, we see that ezer can be translated as "help," but it's not "hand me that wrench" kind of help, rather it's "come to my rescue" kind of help.

 

[GospelS]

He said, I'm looking for a Proverbs 31 woman

 

[CaspianSails]

After 25 years of marriage to wonderful woman of faith I can only say that nothing could be more rewarding while in this life. My life is more complete is more effective as a man of God with her and the faith she has brought. She keeps me accountable. God has certainly blessed me beyond all I could imagine. One who has such a wife needs to heed the words of Paul, likewise husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. My number one priority other than the dedication to God and His role as Lord in my life and His purpose for me, is to love and care for my wife, then my family. All other effort comes after that.

 

[GospelS]

After 25 years of marriage to wonderful woman of faith I can only say that nothing could be more rewarding while in this life. My life is more complete is more effective as a man of God with her and the faith she has brought. She keeps me accountable. God has certainly blessed me beyond all I could imagine. One who has such a wife needs to heed the words of Paul, likewise husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. My number one priority other than the dedication to God and His role as Lord in my life and His purpose for me, is to love and care for my wife, then my family. All other effort comes after that.

Thanks for sharing. I praise God for such a blessing in your life.

 

[Jonathan Walkerin]

I see Proverbs 31 as a list of characteristics a wife

“She is like the merchant-ships”

Well, that part seems to be often the case at least.

 

[Olmhinlu]

I think some characteristic traits of men and women are, respectively, strength and beauty. But just as strength is not only physical, since

"he who rules his spirit [is better] than he who takes a city", and "[a] wise man is full of strength",

so I don't consider beauty merely physical; in my mind an excellent wife exhibits

"the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit".

To me, Abigail is an exemplar of this. What we see of her spirit is, in my opinion, very beautiful.

The antithesis would be (what we see of) Job's wife;

"Curse God and die"

is not suitably helpful.

(I also think the Song of Solomon is a picture of romantic love and not only, if at all, a metaphor for Jesus and the Church.)

 

[GospelS]

An excellent wife is beautiful in God's eyes. Her husband's heart will be after her for she is the woman after God's own heart. She speaks and makes her choices that position her to reflect God's nature in her love story.

 

[GospelS]

Each has a unique role, according to God’s design. In marriage man and woman become one and together they have what is required to raise a family. Children have to be raised in a godly way in order to fulfill God’s purpose. Raising children for God’s kingdom is one facet of being an excellent wife. (I am focusing on the role of the woman here).

 

[ViaCrucis]

An excellent wife would be one who gets all my weird pop culture references.

-CryptoLutheran

 

[HARK!]

On Shabbat, after singing “Shalom Aleichem”, the husband recites "a Woman of Valor” (called Eshet Chayil in Hebrew) to his wife. Eshet Chayil is a 22 verse poem which King Solomon concludes the book of Proverbs.

A woman of valor who can find?
She is more precious than rubies.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And because of her he lacks nothing.

She does him good and not evil,
Every day of her life.

She opens her hand to the poor,
She is sensitive to the needy.

She is robed in strength and dignity;
She confidently faces whatever may come.

Her speech reflects wisdom,
Loving kindness guides her tongue.

Her children rise up to call her blessed,
Her husband publicly praises her:

“Many daughters have done superbly,
but you have surpassed them all!”

Charm is an illusion, and beauty is vane,
But a God revering woman merits true praise.

Place before her the fruit of her hands,
For wherever people gather,
her deeds speak her praise.

That's nice. I went to a church where the women would get upset if you brought up that passage. Perhaps if they heard it every Sabbath since birth, it would have an influence on them.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

In the case of marrying a real lady of Jesus, my opinion is the guy will keep discovering how she is more than he was looking for and hoping for. There are things you might not be able to tell, before you actually live with each other and grow into more and more of the good God has for you.

After all, God is better than we are, and more. So, how He blesses will keep bringing us to better than what we now can think and hope for.

Even so . . . God's word has things to escort us in this discovering

"Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them." (Colossians 3:19)

So, from this I see how the man never has any excuse for giving in to bitterness. So, as soon as anything starts in me, which could get me bitter . . . right away, I need to stop and resist that while God corrects me into how I need to be loving, instead. No matter what she does, I am never excused to give in to bitterness, never try to lord myself over her, to control her from what she says or does that can get me bitter > instead, rather than first trying to change her, first make sure I myself am not giving into bitterness and a controlling spirit >

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

So, my wife can help me, by refusing to give in to any kind of bitterness . . . so she is always ready to follow my good example of this. And this can encourage me to do the same which God requires of me, so she has my good example to help her.

Every day I'm reminded of how wretched I'm
and what a saint my wife is.
It ain't easy living with a saint.

MB

 

[RDKirk]

An excellent wife would be one who gets all my weird pop culture references.

-CryptoLutheran

I met a woman in 1983 who knew the connection between Star Trek and "rich Corinthian leather."

So I married her.