An alignment in Christian living

[linux.poet]

I believe it is good mentioning that it is important to know which battles you can win before charging at them.
Not every one is the same level of spiritual strength. We all walk a different path at a different speed. We all have strength and weakness.

I agree with this, actually. There are many spiritual battles I am not proficient in. However, the case of non-Christian media is actually a battle which I may claim a degree of proficiency. This particular battle, however, has the annoying attribute of those who are weak looking down on those who are strong and saying that our proficiency doesn’t exist. If you are abstaining from media for spiritual reasons, you need to acknowledge that as a weakness of discernment. I suppose some Christians aren’t called to be writers, but they have no call to look down on the ones that are, or make assumptions about others’ capabilities.

It’s also worth noting that few of us have the luxury of picking our spiritual battles. In my case, they are forced upon me and I have no choice but to fight them, weak or not. That has been the case for my whole life and I find it hard to believe that it will ever change. If you have the luxury of picking them, you are fortunate indeed.

 

[VMaeLove]

I agree with this, actually. There are many spiritual battles I am not proficient in. However, the case of non-Christian media is actually a battle which I may claim a degree of proficiency. This particular battle, however, has the annoying attribute of those who are weak looking down on those who are strong and saying that our proficiency doesn’t exist. If you are abstaining from media for spiritual reasons, you need to acknowledge that as a weakness of discernment. I suppose some Christians aren’t called to be writers, but they have no call to look down on the ones that are, or make assumptions about others’ capabilities.

It’s also worth noting that few of us have the luxury of picking our spiritual battles. In my case, they are forced upon me and I have no choice but to fight them, weak or not. That has been the case for my whole life and I find it hard to believe that it will ever change. If you have the luxury of picking them, you are fortunate indeed.

Linux.Poet
O Believe me. I have no intention of looking down or assuming any thing. If I am to assume anything of you it is only a strong individual from hardship and will. I have respect what you have show me to this point.
I said what I feel is good in the case of those of us not as strong, I don't believe we should feel discouraged if we think we are not on the same level as others. We all follow a different path. And it brings us unique strength and weakness. Some require more time.

As far as picking battles, I may have worded it wrong. I mean picking the situations we find your self in, avoid situations we may not be ready to handle. The devil is around us always, but we have some control of our surrounding.

I avoid certain partys and people. They are battles I know I am not ready to fight.

 

[linux.poet]

O Believe me. I have no intention of looking down or assuming any thing. If I am to assume anything of you it is only a strong individual from hardship and will.

And I didn’t think you did. I can’t say so for the others. Perhaps in time they will learn what I did. When I first started listening to music, I went with the “Christian + Instrumental” only rule, then I expanded out to listening to TobyMac and then to Red. Then I realized I had been listening to Kelly Clarkson the whole time and went to go deal with that, and so on. I didn’t just suddenly flood my life with secular music and expect to survive - I took my problems one at a time, building my discernment and understanding of poetry.

When I stated reading books I stated with children’s literature and non-fiction before moving on to more difficult books.

I avoid certain partys and people. They are battles I know I am not ready to fight.

Same here. I actually am poorly equipped for party battles and much prefer battling from behind my computer screen with my books, engaging the intellectual war of ideas. Yet some believers I understand are good at nursing drinks and evangelizing people in bars. I’m just no good at that, and leave that to those that are. At the same time, I have no right to look down on party evangelists.

There are even intellectual areas where I still have much to learn - even inside my own areas of battle proficiency I still have much further to go. I even avoid battles inside my own areas that I don’t know about when I have to learn them first.

 

[bèlla]

All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.

The OPs question is a conundrum. It can’t be answered without an honest conversation with the party mentioned. You’d have to know the why behind the decision. And the answer’s layered. The depth of their of response is largely influenced by your relationship.

In other words, you’ll get in their business to the degree they permit. The same holds true for influence. You can’t move the needle without agreement. There must be something in the message or messenger that resonates.

And if its lacking, if belief is absent, no amount reasoning, browbeating, or pontifications will alter it. Because they don’t believe in you, the message, or they’re not ready to change.

There’s another factor that wasn’t addressed. Presentation and delivery matters. You’ve gotta speak their language. When you influence people for a living you learn important truths about demographics and audience. You can’t say the same things in the same way to everyone. Because they’re different.

Sometimes we want people to receive our words and we’re frustrated or don’t understand why they won’t. And sometimes its the messenger. We can’t reach them on that topic.

That’s why companies spend millions tracking us. They want to get in our heads to fine tune their message. They do it by learning the things we like, dislike, respond to, ignore and so on. They don’t have a one-size approach. If you scrutinize their ads you’ll see it.

They can sell multiple products to multiple demographics simultaneously. Because each demographic is its own campaign. What works for one group may not work for the next.

I know my lady and we always find one another. Because the message is for her. She’s the one I’m called to. While my words may resonate with others they’re not the target.

My relationship with Vinter is an excellent example of that principle. He isn’t my lady nor is she on the site. I use this medium for sowing. Offering a word, truth, encouragement, prayer, etc. I’m not fishing. But he found his way to the net.

To call him an exception is putting it mildly. He’s receiving the things I do and share with those I mentor. Because I understood the problem and provided the tools he needed to resolve it. Although we’ve never met or conversed outside the site the connection has borne fruit. And he has a harvest.

When you’re looking at someone’s life and insisting they’re doing it wrong you have to ask yourself a question. How will they be bettered by my advice? If you believe they will, how have you overcome or helped others do the same in that area?

Because everyone’s an expert now. But every one isn’t your assignment and you have to know the difference. And the key is His glory. How does your involvement magnify Him? Check your motives.

The person I’m assisting was delivered from strongholds and addictions. We’re building anew and forging a structure rooted in Christ and holiness. So he’ll become the godly man and spouse he desires. I didn’t go in wagging my finger or criticizing. I entered with grace and solutions.

When we’re ministering to others and scrutinizing behavior there’s a need for mindfulness. If it doesn’t transgress the word or isn’t sinful there must be latitude. We can’t expect them to mirror us or try to change them.

There’s a lot of things I do or refrain from that others don’t. And that’s okay. They don’t have my calling, gifts or anointing. God isn’t asking them to do what He desires of me.

It isn’t a crime to ask someone how a decision has changed their life or blessed them. That’s a better opening than you’re doing it wrong.

 

[Vinter]

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[ThisIsMe123]

I think you should be more respectful of ladies who don’t just want to kiss random guys off the street and contract dreadful diseases. I would hope that my husband would be able to appreciate the fact that I just don’t go around kissing whoever and that I just want to do it with him.

Right off the street? Quite hyperbolic, don't you think? I'm talking serious long term, steady relationship here.

 

[linux.poet]

I know my lady and we always find one another. Because the message is for her. She’s the one I’m called to. While my words may resonate with others they’re not the target.

Have you thought about how your words look to non-targets?

When I write posts I often think about how my posts look to everyone on the forum, the mods, the larger Internet, etc. The forum is my audience and, to all people on the forum, I have an obligation to make myself understood. Otherwise, I know I won't be spending any time talking to anyone and instead spend half my life dealing with misunderstandings.

*sigh* Maybe this is just me, but this is another thing that just annoys me. People are people, not targets at an archery range. It strikes me as arrogant to say "my words are only for my clique" and disregard what other people may wish to input into my life if they have something they wish to say if I don't have a Scriptural reason to disregard it. Whatever it is may actually be useful for me to learn. The learning process is never finished for any of us until the day we die, so claiming oneself to be the forum's benefit to others is closing yourself off to learning and spiritually impoverishing oneself.

Right off the street? Quite hyperbolic, don't you think? I'm talking serious long term, steady relationship here.

It's all about where you draw the line. I draw the line at engagement because I want to be kissing a guy that I want to marry. If an engagement gets broke off, I will be able to tell the next guy, in good conscience "I thought I was going to marry him" as the reason for why I kissed that guy.

"Long-term, steady relationship" is a vague concept that doesn't work for me. I've had friendships with guys that have lasted for years where romance never came up. You could call that a "long-term, steady relationship". Do I have a license to kiss him in that case? No! An engagement is something concrete that I can point to with my ring finger and say "He wants to marry me." Allowing him to kiss me is allowing him to practice for the wedding day so he isn't mortified doing it in front of everyone, and also gives the man something to go on. He's been dreaming, and I have compassion for those dreams and his body and all of that, and the kiss is a sign of said compassion.

But until that point, who knows? Maybe he just sees me as a friend - cool. Maybe he is trying to use me for something. Who knows what he's up to? I don't. Does he want to marry me? I don't know. Maybe he's trying to use me for sex and leave me a single mom on the side of the road. I certainly wouldn't want to be kissing that guy.

I don't need to be justifying my boundaries to you, but hopefully this post will help you understand why women reserve kissing for engagement, and even for their wedding day.

 

[bèlla]

@bèlla

I am honoured.

Thank God I was cought in your net.

And not the other kind men are warned about in Ecc 7:26

I am reading Ecclesiastes as you recomended.

God bless you. I can't say it enough.

We’re blessed to be a blessing and you make the experience worthwhile. You listen and execute. No excuses, arguments, or tantrums. You’re easier than most.

When that’s your strength you’ll go far. Many spend money on books, classes, and training and never use them. They’re collecting dust on the shelf.

Having someone whose eager to learn and grow is a delight. It’s not the norm. That inspires your effort and makes you dig deeper. There’s give and take in all connections. And we’re just getting started.

 

[VMaeLove]

The learning process is never finished for any of us until the day we die, so claiming oneself to be the forum's benefit to others is closing yourself off to learning and spiritually impoverishing oneself.

In many of situations I will agree with you but your assess of @bèlla is wrong.
For years before now she proved to be a benefit to others on the Forum. Many of us will agree to that.
She is a beautiful and wise Soul.

Please consider having more time and thought of what she says. She will always give the same respect.

 

[linux.poet]

In many of situations I will agree with you but your assess of @bèlla is wrong.

That line was not meant to assess bèlla. That is against the rules of the forum. I was making a general statement about what annoys me.

I have no idea whether or not bèlla is open to learning at this point, and even if I did think she was closed off, I would simply have to ignore it and move on in my own humility.

 

[bèlla]

In many of situations I will agree with you but your assess of @bèlla is wrong.
For years before now she proved to be a benefit to others on the Forum. Many of us will agree to that.
She is a beautiful and wise Soul.

Please consider having more time and thought of what she says. She will always give the same respect.

Thank you for the compliment Mae. Your presence has been missed and I hope you’ll be around a lot more.