Amends needed

[Healed_IHS]

Good morning family!

Got a voice mail from an ex girlfriend that wanted me to call her back. Every time I spoke with her after we had broken up - it seemed like a good idea to get back together. Yet, everytime we got back together we would break up leading me into despair and relapse. Obviously, we weren't meant to be- and I am cool with that.

I was drunken [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] and said things while I was with her that were hurtful and I need to make an amends. Don't get me wrong, hurt people hurt people so she hurt me as well, but I need to "clear my side of the street".

Just want your advice how I should go about this.
Thanks!

 

[justanobserver]

Step 8:

[SIZE=-1]8.[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." (Matthew 5:23, 24**)[/SIZE]​

Although I am not at this step yet in fullness, I have had made or attempted to make amends to those that I have hurt/harmed/wronged that are close to me - such as immediate family.​

I been sober almost 3 yrs now, clean for 4 and I have told my 4 kids (2 are adults and 2 are mid teens) a thousand times I am sorry for being a rotten dad, a drunk, was never there when they needed me (never physically hurt them - was just never home via US Army and/or <insert name of favorite alcohol beverage here>). I know I dont need to say "sorry" to them a thousand times but maybe for me, its a "I was a lousy dad" thing and I need to get over my guilt.​

My kids have forgiven me or at least they say they have and I beleive them but whether that have or not, I did what I can do to make my amends for me and my part. My oldest son still has some resentment I think but theres nothing I can do except to be what I am now to him and not what I was and leave the rest up to him.

My advise is same to you - if she accepts, cool, If she dont, then smile and wish her wll and move on. Nothing mroe you can do.

Dontknow if you know about it but theres a forum for doing the 12 Steps:

http://www.christianforums.com/f702

 

[Healed_IHS]

Thanks for the advice... I'm going to check out that forum. I think that because she is the one trying to make contact it may be easier, but she is very co-dependant & I don't wish to do her any more harm by my actions.

 

[LoG]

An amend is not simply saying i am sorry. It is about setting things right.

 

[Healed_IHS]

The way it was explained to me-- it's "a-mending" of torn relationships.