Tropical Wilds
Little Lebowski Urban Achiever
- Oct 2, 2009
- 6,692
- 4,779
- Country
- United States
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- Female
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- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
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- US-Others
I don’t think he technically ghosted you... You weren’t in a relationship with him, and he said he wasn’t looking for a relationship. I get you felt attached to him and you interpreted some behaviors on his part to be mutual, but with him saying he didn’t want a relationship and you being presumably unavailable, no explanations are needed for why contact ended. I mean, your situation and understanding of his needs/wants described why he ended contact.
Honestly, I think the two things that need to be explored (besides Zoolander’s observation about wanting more than people are able to give) are your driving need for external validation/codependency and the fact that, when you speak of your husband and your marriage, you talk like it’s already over and you barely tolerate him and your relationship. It truly, truly seems you’re just waiting for him to end it or you’re waiting until somebody signs off on the list of issues about him you have that justifies your leaving.
Listen, I get you’re having a rough go of it. I think we’ve all been there, I know I was there at the end of my first marriage. There does come a point though where you switch from life inflicting living on you and you deciding to proactively live your life. You need to decide if your really into salvaging your marriage and then draw out how you’re going to work to meet that goal, or if it’s a wash and you need to work out a different life. You can coast along in the middle forever, but it means that your tomorrow, and every tomorrow after that one, will look exactly like yesterday, and if you hated your yesterday, you’ll hate it as your tomorrow too.
Honestly, I think the two things that need to be explored (besides Zoolander’s observation about wanting more than people are able to give) are your driving need for external validation/codependency and the fact that, when you speak of your husband and your marriage, you talk like it’s already over and you barely tolerate him and your relationship. It truly, truly seems you’re just waiting for him to end it or you’re waiting until somebody signs off on the list of issues about him you have that justifies your leaving.
Listen, I get you’re having a rough go of it. I think we’ve all been there, I know I was there at the end of my first marriage. There does come a point though where you switch from life inflicting living on you and you deciding to proactively live your life. You need to decide if your really into salvaging your marriage and then draw out how you’re going to work to meet that goal, or if it’s a wash and you need to work out a different life. You can coast along in the middle forever, but it means that your tomorrow, and every tomorrow after that one, will look exactly like yesterday, and if you hated your yesterday, you’ll hate it as your tomorrow too.
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