Am I wrong to grieve about this?

I don’t think he technically ghosted you... You weren’t in a relationship with him, and he said he wasn’t looking for a relationship. I get you felt attached to him and you interpreted some behaviors on his part to be mutual, but with him saying he didn’t want a relationship and you being presumably unavailable, no explanations are needed for why contact ended. I mean, your situation and understanding of his needs/wants described why he ended contact.

Honestly, I think the two things that need to be explored (besides Zoolander’s observation about wanting more than people are able to give) are your driving need for external validation/codependency and the fact that, when you speak of your husband and your marriage, you talk like it’s already over and you barely tolerate him and your relationship. It truly, truly seems you’re just waiting for him to end it or you’re waiting until somebody signs off on the list of issues about him you have that justifies your leaving.

Listen, I get you’re having a rough go of it. I think we’ve all been there, I know I was there at the end of my first marriage. There does come a point though where you switch from life inflicting living on you and you deciding to proactively live your life. You need to decide if your really into salvaging your marriage and then draw out how you’re going to work to meet that goal, or if it’s a wash and you need to work out a different life. You can coast along in the middle forever, but it means that your tomorrow, and every tomorrow after that one, will look exactly like yesterday, and if you hated your yesterday, you’ll hate it as your tomorrow too.

 

God did not put this man in your life. First off you’re married, second he isn’t a Christian. This was satan’s doing to destroy your marriage while it was weak. It’s created inappropriate feelings within you, a longing that has no place in your life. Recognize it for what it is....spiritual warfare. You can’t help how you feel, God knows this. But focus on Him. Repent as has been suggested. This will fade away. God will make your marriage everything you want it to be, and more (assuming both you and your husband are willing to put forth the effort). Open The Word, communicate with Him, learn from the experience.

 

I do not forget people that I have had a special relationship with. There is a lot of people from my past I would love to get together and spend some time with them. Perhaps when we get to Heaven we will be able to spend time with the people that were so very special for us here in this life.