Am I wasting time?

[imaninicolexoxo]

Hi. I really need some advice. My name is Nicole. I am a junior in college. My freshman year, I met this guy and we hit it off right away. He loved sports and so do I. We were really good friends for a while and then it turned into something more. I started doing things with him that I know I shouldn't have. We weren't having sex but we were doing things that could lead to sex. I really liked him. At the end of my freshman year, he went back home which is 4 hours away from me. He used to really be strong in his walk with God but that changed when he was in high school. H comes from a christian family. He never came back to the school and I haven't seen him since. I try to forget about him but I can't. We talk sometimes but not that often. When we talk its just like it used to be. We can talk for hours. I even pray for him. I don't know but I really feel like he is someone that I could be with. I am not sure if it is because I feel physically attached to him? I always wanted to wait for marriage to have sex. Even though we didn't have sexual intercourse, we were engaging in oral sex and other things like that. I feel like he is the one for me. Am I wasting time, thinking that one day we could be together?

 

[NebraskaLuke]

I can't tell you what the future holds, but I would encourage you to not get your hopes up. Based on my reading of this, your in-person contact ended with him in May of 2014 (roughly). In the world of college relationships, that is an eternity. I would ask myself two questions: when we talk, who initiates the conversation and who ends it? If the reality is that you two probably wouldn't ever talk if not for your initiative, then I'm afraid he has moved on. Does that mean the door is closed forever? You never know, but probably.

I want to finish by saying that I get what you're going through. Breakups are hard, especially for the party that didn't want it to end. Additionally, we're talking about a relationship that became sexually intimate. Once you "go there" with someone, you really can't go back. The heartache you're feeling right now is totally normal, and most of us have been there. It feels like there couldn't possibly anyone else in the world who could take his place, and that without him you won't find happiness. Again, this is normal, but it's just not the case. Time, and eventually another person will heal the pain you're feeling right now. The pain of love lost sucks, it's part of being human. You need to let go and what comes will come. I know that's harder than it sounds - but it's a journey most of us have to learn to walk at some point in our lives. Good luck!

 

[imaninicolexoxo]

Thank you so much! Your response really opened my eyes. I guess I thought that since I can't get him out of my mind after more than a year, there must be something with us. I haven't met anyone since him. I feel like I really need to forgive myself for the things I have done. Not having sex was always something I prided myself in. Even though I've never been all the way, I still gave someone something so intimate. I guess I felt like since he was the one that I kind of broke my commitment with, he would have to be the one I marry. It sounds really dumb saying that now. It's just something that I really struggle with now, knowing that I am not as pure.

 

[Messy2]

Get prayer, repent, break soul ties in Jesus' Name. I was in something similar. God told me to get out of it. He didn't want to repent and would otherwise drag me into it. Next time don't date someone who hasn't got and doesn't maintain clear boundaries and doesn't have God first.

 

[LaSorcia]

Honey, you are still as pure as you were. When we repent, God forgives us and removes our sins from us as far as the East is from the West. You might have some regrets, true, but if you learn from them, that is good.

 

[imaninicolexoxo]

Thanks so much everyone! I have definitely learned to go after guys that have the same values as me. Thanks again!

 

[Kaylaherin]

Thanks so much everyone! I have definitely learned to go after guys that have the same values as me. Thanks again!

Yesss girl lol I would love to tell you my story and how I had to let go of a relationship that I was in for 2 and a half years, it's kind of similar to your story, but I pray it's encouraging! It's rather long tho

 

[imaninicolexoxo]

Yesss girl lol I would love to tell you my story and how I had to let go of a relationship that I was in for 2 and a half years, it's kind of similar to your story, but I pray it's encouraging! It's rather long tho

That's fine with me. It would actually be nice to talk to someone about it!