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Just want to iterate this point. This is very very very important. Many marraiges in medical school fail becuase spouses were not prepared for the lack of time with their partner, all other factors aside, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!sowellfan said:BTW, your boyfriend may make it to medical school, but it's a very tough and competitive road, and he could very well end up just getting a bachelors at the college that you both are currently at.
Cammie said:I would much rather see people (who are ready) marry young than date 5 or 6 years just so they aren't married "too young" (by someone else's standards). And based on the 50% divorce rate, IMO, I think that people who get married later in life are more likely to get divorced. Older people get so set in their ways that they aren't willing (a lot of times) to do the compromising and adjusting it takes to get used to being married.
Cammie said:IMO, I think that people who get married later in life are more likely to get divorced.
Compromising and adjusting is good, but I'm suspicious to anyone getting married before the personality has developed. Being married does not guarantee that the personality develops well and in a good direction, on the other hand not being married doesn't either. But what I mean is that when being 18 you don't know anything about what kind of person you are at an age of 25. But at the age of 25 you know what kind of a person you're going to be at an age of 30 or 35. That is an argument for getting married laterCammie said:Older people get so set in their ways that they aren't willing (a lot of times) to do the compromising and adjusting it takes to get used to being married
I believe that desire is always very mixed with the desire of the soul and flesh, or even entirely the desire of the sould and fleshIf God places the desire upon your heart and he brings you someone, then why not?
LOL, WP, I am in the same boat as you. Well, except mine isn't in one month...mine's in more like 2.Warrior Poet said:18+5=23
23 is old??....then I am gonna be a year away from being old in a month
When you saying dating long, do you mean dating in general or dating the person?katelyn said:The problem with this is, how do you know you are ready? I have known some young people (myself included) who naively thought they were ready when they weren't. I agree that dating 5 or 6 years just to prove that you're not too young is a little extreme. But more than once I have run into couples who either hadn't been dating very long or were in a very transitional stage of life, and then I feel the question needs to be asked: what's the rush?
Cammie said:Okay, I have a couple of comments. First of all, I would consider myself a definite advocate of young marriages. I would much rather see people (who are ready) marry young than date 5 or 6 years just so they aren't married "too young" (by someone else's standards). And based on the 50% divorce rate, IMO, I think that people who get married later in life are more likely to get divorced. Older people get so set in their ways that they aren't willing (a lot of times) to do the compromising and adjusting it takes to get used to being married.
Secondly, for everyone advocating college, I'm sorry, but I have to disagree. COLLEGE ISN'T FOR EVERYONE.
Just a couple things I wanted to throw out there.
I meant specifically that person, although I do have to say that in general I have seen that having a little bit of experience with relationships can be helpful. Many people are blinded by their idea of love when they get into their first relationship, so much so that they don't see the problems in the relationship until it's "too late," not necessarily meaning marriage, but just at a point where the relationship should have never gone since they weren't right for each other.Lizzi4Christ said:When you saying dating long, do you mean dating in general or dating the person?
Slotte said:Compromising and adjusting is good, but I'm suspicious to anyone getting married before the personality has developed.
Sounds like a petty argument IHO. You do NOT know what kind of a person you're going to be EVER. You NEVER know what life is going to throw at you to change your viewpoints, or attitudes. That is a ridiculous argument for marrying later. Why wait to get married? Why date for 5 or 6 years? I watched one of my friends be a perpetual dater. She and her boyfriend had been together for 7 years, only for him to die in a car accident.But what I mean is that when being 18 you don't know anything about what kind of person you are at an age of 25. But at the age of 25 you know what kind of a person you're going to be at an age of 30 or 35. That is an argument for getting married later
piggytail said:I am appalled at the number of people who think perpetual dating is okay for Christians. Anything longer than 2 years IMO is way too long. At that point, you know whether or not you've met the right person.
That's exactly what I'm talking about. So many people rush into marriage riding on the feeling of love they have, only to eventually come crashing down. Yes, you choose to love someone, and even if you come to some abrupt realizations after you are married that your spouse is not who you thought they were, then the honorable thing to do is to choose to love them anyway.Lizzi4Christ said:I think in general most people don't know what love is. They think it's a feeling. But the kind of love you need for a marriage is more then just a feeling, it's also a choice.
I wonder how many couples that broke up would have lasted a long time if only they realized that.
Maybe I should have explained myself a little better. I agree that college is not for everyone. But, I think that everyone should have job skills to fall back on, even if they are planning on being a stay at home mother.Cammie said:Secondly, for everyone advocating college, I'm sorry, but I have to disagree. COLLEGE ISN'T FOR EVERYONE.
Your last statement really bothered me. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is 19 and I am almost 19. We feel that we are right for each other and know that if we were 3 years older we would be married right now. Unfortunantly, neither of us are financially stable, we just finished high school and are trying to figure out what we want to do. We are in NO rush to get married because a) we are still young b) we are not ready to get married. There is nothing wrong with not being ready for marriage. I know a couple who dated for 8 years before they got married.piggytail said:Anything longer than 2 years IMO is way too long. At that point, you know whether or not you've met the right person. And if you aren't going to marry them, give somebody else a chance to.
I'm so glad someone else brought up the point about the majority of marriages that end in divorce are people who got married in their teens.And based on the 50% divorce rate, IMO, I think that people who get married later in life are more likely to get divorced.
My standard formula is 1 year of friendship, 2 years of courtship, and six months of engagement. That is plenty of time to get to know someone, see how they worship God, see how they are with children, see how they are about work, and see how they are with their family and yours. You also shouldn't persue a "serious" relationship unless both parties are able to wed and be financially stable and spiritually compatible.Why wait to get married?
You don't have to date that long, but it's best to wait at least 2 or 3. You really don't know someone in any less than one year's time.Why date for 5 or 6 years?
So how would the two of them being married change what happened? He would ahve died anyway. Exploiting your friend's tragedy as a way to advocate teenage marriages (which almost always end in divorce, even among Christians) is sad.I watched one of my friends be a perpetual dater. She and her boyfriend had been together for 7 years, only for him to die in a car accident.
Yeah, that's the BEST reason to rush into marriage before you're ready. *end sarcasm*You are not guaranteed a tomorrow.
The point you're missing is you won't know you've met the right person until you've known them a couple of years. Love at first sight is half myth.If you've met the right person DON'T WAIT!
I can't believe you're encouraging people to just go with their warm fuzzy feelings and not heed the advice from their parents and elders. Bottom line, if your parents, your fiance's parents, or elders in your church say you're too young then you'd best listen to their advice. They know better than you ever will and they can see things that will damage the marriage better than you.It doesn't matter if other people think you're "too young."
No they can't. Until you've spent years and years with your spouse you won't know what it takes to make a marriage successful and the love you feel for someone at the age of 18 is so void of maturity as opposed to when you're 45 and been married to the same person for 20 years.Younger people can love just as strongly and make it through tough times just as well as older people.
I hate it when people say that! Age is NOT "just" a number. It does define your place in life and your maturity level to an extent. I don't know how old you are but judging from your opinions lacking mature forethought, I'd say you're probably not any older than 18 or 19. Trust me, you will see. When you're 25, 35, 45 you will look back and think "geez, I can't believe I was so immature and foolish!"Age is just a number; it doesn't define your maturity or your place in life.
That verse has NOTHING, catch that? N-o-t-h-i-n-g to do with encouraging young marriage! It's stating don't let anyone tell you that you can't have a strong walk with the Lord because you're young. Jesus was a little boy speaking with the elders in the synagogue. That verse does not mean you should rush out and get married.The Bible says to not let anyone look down upon you because you are young. What a great verse to encourage young couples who want to get married instead of dating forever!
I am appalled at people who think it's okay to twist Scripture, use cliches, and disregard what elders advise all in the name of *feelings*.I am appalled at the number of people who think perpetual dating is okay for Christians.
It depends on the couple. The miniumum should be 18 months.Anything longer than 2 years IMO is way too long.
Yes, because I'm so sure if you date someone from the age of 18 to 25 and you don't get married that the person you were dating will never find "the one" because you wasted their time. Your post does not ONCE mention waiting on God's time. *pfft*And if you aren't going to marry them, give somebody else a chance to.
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