(The linked study guide) seemed to scream at me that I could be trying so very hard, and God could simply say no. That He doesn't want me.
But God
loves you! He loved you even when you weren't saved, and longed for you to come back to him. It's like the parable of the Prodigal Son. The father (God) is waiting and waiting for his son (that's us) to return, and when the son finally shows up - having made a complete and utter hash of his life - the father runs to meet him, gives him a new robe, throws a feast and rejoices that his son has come back. God throws a party in heaven for every person who decides to come to God because he's so delighted that we've chosen him!!!!! Romans 8:16 says that "The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that
we are God's children" (emphasis mine).
Why on earth would God not want you???? You're his child!
However, the stuff about election is correct. The only reason we can love God is because he first loved us and sent his Son to die for us. I think it's also got something to do with how God is all-knowing (including the future) so his selection and our "choice" are one and the same. Nobody becomes a believer by themselves with no input whatsoever from God. That's impossible. The Holy Spirit has to work in a person's heart before they even become
open to maybe considering putting their faith in Christ. And it's God's choice who he influences by his Spirit. Given that you
do believe, God has already chosen you.
I know it's confusing. Goodness knows it confuses me. Where does God's election stop and our free will start? God created us with the ability to choose him... or not. If we had no choice, how could we ever love him? (Love can't be compelled, after all.) I think what that study's saying is that God decided that we - the people who believe - would choose him. Or maybe he just knew it (because he knows the future!) It's like right back in Genesis - God
knew we'd make a huge mess of our relationship with him. God
knew we'd turn away and try to make something of our lives by ourselves. But God
also knew that eventually, through the atoning sacrifice of Jesus, Satan would be completely and utterly defeated and we'd be with God forever.
I don't know exactly how it works. But just because it's confusing
DOES NOT MEAN that God's going to say "No - you haven't done enough. Go to hell. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200"

. It does not mitigate the fact that God loves each and every one of us dearly and would do anything - up to and including dying for us - to bring us back. If you loved someone enough to willingly die for them, to let yourself be brutally murdered in order to save them... if you loved someone
that much, would you ever kick them out? Jesus did exactly that for you, because that's how much God loves you... and he would
never kick you out!