Am I missing my Blessing?

[Kaai]

Since 2011 and on up to 2018, there has been a young man who has had a crush on me. He has asked once before for me to be his girlfriend, yet it wasn't until after graduation that we discussed relationships in general and gave our perspectives on the topic. This guy has amazing qualities, he honors and worship God, works hard, In graduate school to become a lawyer, respects me (all women), shy, family oriented, intelligent, charismatic, kind, gentleman, etc. I could go on listing his qualities, all of this boils down to one thing attraction. I'm not attracted to him. I haven't always dated attractive guys, however with age attraction became a quality on my list of what I desire in a mate. Besides in wanting someone who is God fearing, there are some people including myself who would also want to be attracted to their mate. I tried not to entertain the thoughts of how our children would look, definitely don't want to be a butthead so I left the thought alone. What would you do in a matter such as this?

 

[Rescued One]

.

 

[planet_joe]

Since 2011 and on up to 2018, there has been a young man who has had a crush on me. He has asked once before for me to be his girlfriend, yet it wasn't until after graduation that we discussed relationships in general and gave our perspectives on the topic. This guy has amazing qualities, he honors and worship God, works hard, In graduate school to become a lawyer, respects me (all women), shy, family oriented, intelligent, charismatic, kind, gentleman, etc. I could go on listing his qualities, all of this boils down to one thing attraction. I'm not attracted to him. I haven't always dated attractive guys, however with age attraction became a quality on my list of what I desire in a mate. Besides in wanting someone who is God fearing, there are some people including myself who would also want to be attracted to their mate. I tried not to entertain the thoughts of how our children would look, definitely don't want to be a butthead so I left the thought alone. What would you do in a matter such as this?

So you're saying this guy has been crushing on you for years, you've already rejected him when he asked you to be his girlfriend, and he hasn't moved on? That is some next level friendzoning.

I feel like there is either something wrong with this guy, or else there's something you're not saying. Either way, you need to tell him to move on and cease contact, just so you aren't responsible in any way for stringing him along.

 

[JAM2b]

Attraction is superficial. Honestly. People never stay the same. Someone who is attractive to you now, might not be later. Someone you are not attracted to now, may be attractive to you later. Someone might be attracted to you as you are now, but when you age or if your body changes, they might not stay attracted to you. Choosing to get with someone, or to stay with them, solely based on attraction is incredibly unfair and unloving.

Love breads true attraction and desire that does not fade or change with time, circumstances, or physical changes.

If someone truly is that wonderful, and you are rejecting him just because you aren't attracted, then you need to do him a favor and stay away from him. He deserves better treatment than that.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

I just wanted to post and echo what some have already said here. Don't string this guy along anymore. That is total manipulation.