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Am I Apostate?

Nendem

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Messiah, king, in communion with, etc.

The inability to describe him as your God and Savior is looking increasingly significant.


Well, it may be that you are an apostate by definition, based on these posts, but that wouldn't be the case if you never really had accepted him as Lord and Savior.

It isn’t that I don’t want him to be, it’s a combination of fear and guilt that makes me feel like He isn’t. I believe in the Bible and I believe in my need for Jesus, but I fear if I apostatized then I am lost forever.
 
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Tolworth John

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I believe Jesus is the Messiah. He is the King.
I feel like an apostate, .

Quite frankly what have your feelings got to do with whether you are saved .

Do you feel you are an American?
Do you feel that you are your Father's son?
Do you feel that you have any skill you have learned?

You are a Christian because you repented and accepted Jesus's free gift of salvation. You may have done this in a blur of emotion, but it is the facts that matter.

So stop living in the past, thank God that he has forgiven you and start daily living for Jesus, start being disciplined in your daily living for him.
Get involved with your church, difficult now, but log in to the online midweek meeting, to the online Sunday services, do your daily Bible readings, read and pray for those on your churches prayer list, follow your churches missionary socirt web site and pray for them etc etc etc
 
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FutureAndAHope

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Apologies if in the wrong forum. I’ve posted a similar topic before, but this is a bit different.

Basically I’m worried that I was a ‘theist’ for a few months of my life, and if so, if that means I’m now apostate and can’t return to Jesus. I was in my early twenties, backslidden and not surrounded by Christians. I wasn’t engaged in Christian practices, although I did pray to God in those days. I just had doubts about Jesus, I believed God existed but I just wasn’t sure about Jesus. In that same time period, I would defend Christianity, and someone asked me how many spiritual life was and I identified as still having Christian beliefs.

But a friend and I were having a convo on Facebook, in which I said that I believe there is a divine intelligence that we call God, but ultimately we can’t prove which religion is true. It’s terrible I know, and I greatly regret it...

I don’t know what that means for me. I wasn’t in the word, I completely lost sight of the beauty of the Bible and how Jesus is on every page. I hate it, regret it, and know how injurious my actions were to Jesus. Based on the scary Hebrews 6 passages, am I an apostate forever lost? I’m not even convinced I was saved before. I intellectually understood Christianity and really thought I believed it, but maybe my backsliding and doubts about the divinity of Jesus prove otherwise.

I’m just worried I fell into apostasy, and that my heart is forever sewed up and hardened against God and the Holy Spirit. I’m sick, terrified, and deeply ashamed at what I did.

Hi,

Hebrews 6:6 states the following:

Heb 6:6 and then fell away, it is impossible to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.

But we know that:

Heb 9:27-28 And inasmuch as it is appointed unto men once to die, and after this cometh judgment; so Christ also, having been once offered to bear the sins of many

We see that the cross covers a life time of sins, "die once" = "offered once". The only way to re-crucify Christ is to die in your sins then demand another sacrifice. So the sin of Hebrews 6, is referring to not some one who temporarily walked away from faith, but some one who abandoned faith and died in their sins. You are alive, so have not committed the sin. You can be saved.
 
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Berean Tim

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Apologies if in the wrong forum. I’ve posted a similar topic before, but this is a bit different.

Basically I’m worried that I was a ‘theist’ for a few months of my life, and if so, if that means I’m now apostate and can’t return to Jesus. I was in my early twenties, backslidden and not surrounded by Christians. I wasn’t engaged in Christian practices, although I did pray to God in those days. I just had doubts about Jesus, I believed God existed but I just wasn’t sure about Jesus. In that same time period, I would defend Christianity, and someone asked me how many spiritual life was and I identified as still having Christian beliefs.

But a friend and I were having a convo on Facebook, in which I said that I believe there is a divine intelligence that we call God, but ultimately we can’t prove which religion is true. It’s terrible I know, and I greatly regret it...

I don’t know what that means for me. I wasn’t in the word, I completely lost sight of the beauty of the Bible and how Jesus is on every page. I hate it, regret it, and know how injurious my actions were to Jesus. Based on the scary Hebrews 6 passages, am I an apostate forever lost? I’m not even convinced I was saved before. I intellectually understood Christianity and really thought I believed it, but maybe my backsliding and doubts about the divinity of Jesus prove otherwise.

I’m just worried I fell into apostasy, and that my heart is forever sewed up and hardened against God and the Holy Spirit. I’m sick, terrified, and deeply ashamed at what I did.
We all have doubts. Those in Hebrews 6 reject Jesus to follow another way namely going back to the sacrifices. Your doubts and failures are not replacing Jesus with another God.
Confess your doubts and sins and move on. The enemy uses this to sideline you. Did the same to me
 
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Nendem

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We all have doubts. Those in Hebrews 6 reject Jesus to follow another way namely going back to the sacrifices. Your doubts and failures are not replacing Jesus with another God.
Confess your doubts and sins and move on. The enemy uses this to sideline you. Did the same to me

Well, I didn't replace Jesus with another religion, but I kinda gave up on praying to Him. I would pray to God but not Jesus, as I felt like I wasn't sure who was listening to me...I don't remember renouncing Christianity, I thought maybe world religions were man's attempt at explaining God, but I didn't know. It's why I'm afraid I was a 'theist' for a bit and therefore apostasized. I was living in sin, not in God's word, and not going to church. That is what worries me. I realize how blind and dumb I was, how I forgot m upbringing and knowledge of the word. I believed God was still with me, but maybe it was a delusion and I was never actually a believer, or else my behavior would've been something else.
 
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Nendem

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Hi,

Hebrews 6:6 states the following:

Heb 6:6 and then fell away, it is impossible to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.

But we know that:

Heb 9:27-28 And inasmuch as it is appointed unto men once to die, and after this cometh judgment; so Christ also, having been once offered to bear the sins of many

We see that the cross covers a life time of sins, "die once" = "offered once". The only way to re-crucify Christ is to die in your sins then demand another sacrifice. So the sin of Hebrews 6, is referring to not some one who temporarily walked away from faith, but some one who abandoned faith and died in their sins. You are alive, so have not committed the sin. You can be saved.

I feel, and maybe it's just my anxiety, in that realizing my error and trying to repent, that I am indeed crucifying Jesus afresh..I hate it and feel terrible about it, like I completely forgot my first love or something, I just got indifferent and stepped away for a few years, and now in coming back, am not welcome in God's family...it's not a fun place to be.
 
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Nendem

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Quite frankly what have your feelings got to do with whether you are saved .

Do you feel you are an American?
Do you feel that you are your Father's son?
Do you feel that you have any skill you have learned?

You are a Christian because you repented and accepted Jesus's free gift of salvation. You may have done this in a blur of emotion, but it is the facts that matter.

So stop living in the past, thank God that he has forgiven you and start daily living for Jesus, start being disciplined in your daily living for him.
Get involved with your church, difficult now, but log in to the online midweek meeting, to the online Sunday services, do your daily Bible readings, read and pray for those on your churches prayer list, follow your churches missionary socirt web site and pray for them etc etc etc

I know salvation isn't based on a feeling, but in examining myself, I don't know if I was ever actually saved, or merely believed on an intellectual message in the Bible, and emotionally had an affinity for what I thought was God, but somehow never actually accepted Jesus. I don't know. Certainly, for a period of time in my early twenties, my life did not reflect that of a believer, at least not to me. Maybe others would disagree, we are our own critics, but I was on the other side of the world and not praying, reading the bible, or going to church.

I just want to be made right with God. I know I cannot undo time. But I pray everyday that God restores me, that He rehabilitates my mind and heart, and re-purposes me. Because what I became is something I didn't ever think would happen to me. I was just careless and got sucked into things by being surrounded by the wrong people.
 
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FutureAndAHope

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I feel, and maybe it's just my anxiety, in that realizing my error and trying to repent, that I am indeed crucifying Jesus afresh..I hate it and feel terrible about it, like I completely forgot my first love or something, I just got indifferent and stepped away for a few years, and now in coming back, am not welcome in God's family...it's not a fun place to be.

But you are welcome in God's family, he would not be happy with the sins, but He is happy a loving father to receive you again. God's forgiveness is large.

Luke 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

Mat 18:22 [how may times shall we forgive? Seven times?] Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
 
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Berean Tim

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Well, I didn't replace Jesus with another religion, but I kinda gave up on praying to Him. I would pray to God but not Jesus, as I felt like I wasn't sure who was listening to me...I don't remember renouncing Christianity, I thought maybe world religions were man's attempt at explaining God, but I didn't know. It's why I'm afraid I was a 'theist' for a bit and therefore apostasized. I was living in sin, not in God's word, and not going to church. That is what worries me. I realize how blind and dumb I was, how I forgot m upbringing and knowledge of the word. I believed God was still with me, but maybe it was a delusion and I was never actually a believer, or else my behavior would've been something else.
The Prodigal son left too. He was welcomed back with open arms. Repentance is not a feeling , you may indeed feel bad but to repent means to turn around. In your case turning back to following Jesus
 
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Nancy2

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Dear Nendem,
You have nothing to worry about. God is love. The fact that you care so much proves that you have God in your heart. About 15 years ago I had a breakdown in which I kept having blasphemous thoughts all the time and serious doubts.
It was the worst and also the best time in my life. I had wonderful experiences from God. I felt loved beyond belief. I was suffering from ocd. I started to really study the Bible and found that half of what we were told in the Bible was incorrect. Before anyone tells you to have nothing to do with me, look these words up yourself. The word that is translated forever and forever and ever is the Greek word aion. That word means age or age lasting. Aionios means ages as it is plural. There is a lot more to learn but that is enough for now. God doesn't punish anyone forever. He is love.
As the word states "we rely on the living God who is the saviour of all mankind, especially of believers" (not only of believers). God is big enough to take our doubts and tantrums.
I hope this helps.
Nancy2
 
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Tolworth John

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But I pray everyday that God restores me, that He rehabilitates my mind and heart, and re-purposes m

This is still based on your not ' feeling ' you are a Christian.

A nonchristian is not bothered about being right with God !

You are concerned, it worries you, that is because you belong to God, you are an adopted member of his family, a co heir with Christ, a royal priest.

Stop asking God to do what he did long ago and start thanking him.

The best way to do that is to live for him.
 
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Jesus is YHWH

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I feel, and maybe it's just my anxiety, in that realizing my error and trying to repent, that I am indeed crucifying Jesus afresh..I hate it and feel terrible about it, like I completely forgot my first love or something, I just got indifferent and stepped away for a few years, and now in coming back, am not welcome in God's family...it's not a fun place to be.
what would make you think you are not welcome in Gods family ?

read the story of the prodigal son and see the Fathers response. This is a story Jesus told for you to hear.

Luke 15

11To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. 12The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.
13“A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. 14About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. 15He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. 16The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.
17“When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! 18I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, 19and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’
20“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. 21His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’
22“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. 23And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, 24for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.
25“Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, 26and he asked one of the servants what was going on. 27‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’
28“The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, 29but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. 30Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’
31“His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. 32We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”
 
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Scott Husted

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what do you mean?

“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.

Really no one can do this for you, nor answer the questions you have. You need to quite your mind ... to the left or right of the cross is a thief, which is symbolism and has more to do with inner space rather than outer space.
 
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Nendem

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“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool.

Really no one can do this for you, nor answer the questions you have. You need to quite your mind ... to the left or right of the cross is a thief, which is symbolism and has more to do with inner space rather than outer space.

I have severe anxiety that spirals out of control from time to time..and now its favorite playground is in my mind telling me I sinned too much, making my heart too calloused to genuinely repent, and that I’m just waiting on the bus to Hell...I’ve wracked my brain, tried to reason and figure out where I stand, but it’s a never ending cycle at this point..
 
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Scott Husted

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I have severe anxiety that spirals out of control from time to time..and now its favorite playground is in my mind telling me I sinned too much, making my heart too calloused to genuinely repent, and that I’m just waiting on the bus to Hell...I’ve wracked my brain, tried to reason and figure out where I stand, but it’s a never ending cycle at this point..

In the end no thought no problem ... its like blowing up a balloon... its tough at first but the more you do it the easier it gets to remain.
 
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