Already lusted, so it is OK to have SEX?

[BlueJ]

There is also the well-known psychological phenomenon, I don't know if it has a name, where if a person is condemned or punished for something they haven't done, they often eventually feel they might as well do it if they are going to suffer for it anyway. This is why it is harmful to try to make people feel guilty for things they haven't done.

Pretty good. I just might see into that.

 

[BlueJ]

How old are these guys anyway? Even though you say they are adults, they sound very young.

Well, my brother is 22 and his friend is 21. They are both very smart, but very prideful. they both graduated from aviation high school with a high GPA. So , yes it seems that strange that they would say these things. Note that 5 years ago my brother probably would have not said this.

 

[HuntingMan]

On the subject about thinking about harming someone, we were discussing about premeditated murder. In the U.S or in some states, a person can be sentence to prison for premeditated murder from substantial evidence regarding a case he or she is just as guilty to someone who actually was caught in the killing.

While this is true, just because we thought about something does not mean we should go do it.
There is a reason that conspiracy to commit murder is so serious...many persons planning it eventually try to DO it....see how that works ?

If NO one who ever just thought about ever ended up doing it, then conspiracy might not be punished so severely.

And again, when we've thought about something, say punching our spouse in a moment of anger as some men do, its not the same as literally punching them and putting them into the ER.
We can always get around our own thoughts and try to renew our minds daily. Facial scars from domestic violence dont affect just US as our thoughts to..they bring another person into the picture.

When we have illicit sex with someone, we dont just defile ourselves, we drag another human being into the wrong we are committing as well. That isnt the case with sins that are only in the mind.

 

[HuntingMan]

Well, my brother is 22 and his friend is 21. They are both very smart, but very prideful. they both graduated from aviation high school with a high GPA. So , yes it seems that strange that they would say these things. Note that 5 years ago my brother probably would have not said this.

Do you think its possible that your bro has been being influenced by his friends?
And being a guy, I know how one man who is moral can end up being not so much so in a group dynamic.

Quite frankly, I had a few female friends in HS that could talk just as dirty as any guy I knew when they were in groups. One on one tho, they would never have said that sort of stuff.

1Co 15:33
(EMTV) Do not be deceived: "Evil associations corrupts good habits."
(CEV) Don't fool yourselves. Bad friends will destroy you.
(ASV) Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals.


​

 

[katautumn]

I, personally, find the conservative Christian definition and application of the word "lust" troublesome. When the Bible speaks about having lust in the heart being the same as adultery, there may be some truth to that. It's not uncommon for a person to be guilty of having an "emotional affair". I've talked to several wives in my lifetime who have told me that they would prefer their husbands cheated on them during a one-night stand rather than deal with the agony over their husbands becoming emotionally intimate with another woman. The affects of a spouse becoming emotionally attached to another person can be substantially more painful than the physical connection.

The problem with the conservative view of "lust" is that it is misapplied to the point where Christian husbands and wives are asking if it's acceptable to lust after their spouse. You cannot lust after your spouse. Lust is the insatiable urge to have that which does not belong to you. Lust is not becoming aroused when you kiss your fiance. Lust is not desiring to make love to your spouse. Lust isn't even getting aroused if you view inappropriate contentography or touch. Lust is not a man taking notice of an attractive female.

Lust is something that consumes your entire being. It's when you are a husband and you find yourself falling for your pretty female co-worker and you can't go thirty minutes without intensely imagining what it would be like if only you didn't have that pesky wife problem and you would be free to have a relationship with the other woman. Lust is when the wife finds herself wishing she had never married her husband and had, instead, tried to make a move on his brother or best friend because he seems so much more attentive and exciting. Lust is the man who stalks and harasses the friend from school because he is consumed by flights of fancy that her being with him is in her best interest, she just doesn't realize it yet.

BlueJ, it sounds to me as if your brother and his friend are very legalistic, self-righteous and naive - much like the Pharisees in the Bible. I would take their unfounded opinions with a grain of salt.

 

[BlueJ]

Do you think its possible that your bro has been being influenced by his friends?
And being a guy, I know how one man who is moral can end up being not so much so in a group dynamic.

Quite frankly, I had a few female friends in HS that could talk just as dirty as any guy I knew when they were in groups. One on one tho, they would never have said that sort of stuff.

1Co 15:33
(EMTV) Do not be deceived: "Evil associations corrupts good habits."
(CEV) Don't fool yourselves. Bad friends will destroy you.
(ASV) Be not deceived: Evil companionships corrupt good morals.


​

Now that you’d mentioned it, yes. During his first 2 years of high school he was a pretty good kid. He will preach about God to his friends without feeling any shame. His teachers loved him, however kids in school start teasing him calling him a fake Christian and other terrible words of that matter. He used to go to church every Sunday, now he believes the churches are all wrong, maybe that's because the church buddies started to tease him as well. Maybe, that's when it all started.
But he has started getting into things that’s far more dangerous than what he’s friends can do. He has been lurking on the internet finding what seems to be like false Christian beliefs or cult. Now he doesn’t believe in hell, which makes me believe that he doesn’t want to feel responsible for his actions. My brother and this friend are making money, which is starting to get to their heads and cloud their judgment and thinking. I’m telling you these guys need a reality check, they act like their untouchable and all in the name of God. I don't know what to do. It’s more like the blind leading the blind. I feel sorry for both of them.

 

[BlueJ]

I, personally, find the conservative Christian definition and application of the word "lust" troublesome. When the Bible speaks about having lust in the heart being the same as adultery, there may be some truth to that. It's not uncommon for a person to be guilty of having an "emotional affair". I've talked to several wives in my lifetime who have told me that they would prefer their husbands cheated on them during a one-night stand rather than deal with the agony over their husbands becoming emotionally intimate with another woman. The affects of a spouse becoming emotionally attached to another person can be substantially more painful than the physical connection.

The problem with the conservative view of "lust" is that it is misapplied to the point where Christian husbands and wives are asking if it's acceptable to lust after their spouse. You cannot lust after your spouse. Lust is the insatiable urge to have that which does not belong to you. Lust is not becoming aroused when you kiss your fiance. Lust is not desiring to make love to your spouse. Lust isn't even getting aroused if you view inappropriate contentography or touch. Lust is not a man taking notice of an attractive female.

Lust is something that consumes your entire being. It's when you are a husband and you find yourself falling for your pretty female co-worker and you can't go thirty minutes without intensely imagining what it would be like if only you didn't have that pesky wife problem and you would be free to have a relationship with the other woman. Lust is when the wife finds herself wishing she had never married her husband and had, instead, tried to make a move on his brother or best friend because he seems so much more attentive and exciting. Lust is the man who stalks and harasses the friend from school because he is consumed by flights of fancy that her being with him is in her best interest, she just doesn't realize it yet.

BlueJ, it sounds to me as if your brother and his friend are very legalistic, self-righteous and naive - much like the Pharisees in the Bible. I would take their unfounded opinions with a grain of salt.

I agree with you 100%. I have been reading about the usage of the word “lust” and have gotten the correct meaning on the terminology. So the issue now is not the issue it was before, it’s about them going around believing in that nonsense. I have to convince or persuade them that they’re wrong. I care that much.
Thanks for the good comment and God bless.