Alone with no hope in sight

Rescued One · Aug 21, 2017

NW82 said:
Telling me to deal with it, isn't advice to change anything. It is merely saying stay in the situation and deal with it as is. Telling someone to stay in a hole they can't get out of, and to deal with it, that's not advice, it's a lazy reply.

But God cares for you more than any of us are even capable of and you don't trust Him enough to start climbing out of the hole. What if you woke up tomorrow with only what you thanked God for today?

1 Thessalonians 5
18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I know what it is to feel hopeless. My question is, "Do you want help?" If you do, it might be time to talk to your doctor, because we'de trying to help but you don't sound like you're feeling better. Am I wrong?

NW82 · Aug 21, 2017

Phoebe Ann said:
But God cares for you more than any of us are even capable of and you don't trust Him enough to start climbing out of the hole. What if you woke up tomorrow with only what you thanked God for today?

1 Thessalonians 5
18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I know what it is to feel hopeless. My question is, "Do you want help?" If you do, it might be time to talk to your doctor, because we'de trying to help but you don't sound like you're feeling better. Am I wrong?

Yes yes yes it must be my fault, my fault my ex wife left and cheated on me after I gave everything, my fault my twin brother has everything, my fault my parents rub it in my face, my fault..God has forsaken me because he doesn't hear me. I would give up so much to just not be alone and yet the only answer I ever get here is accept being alone and learn to like it. But the truth is it's gonna kill me

Rescued One · Aug 21, 2017

Being alone and lonely hasn't killed me. All the sorrow in my life hasn't killed me. Moving every single year or more as a child didn't kill me even though I hated it. Having a father who criticized me every chance he got, who considered everyone without a higher education a loser, who told his only son to go live in Iraq if he didn't agree with every policy of our government, who thought only his jokes were funny, who embezzled his granddaughter's money when her mother died; having two unkind stepfathers; having relatives who fought with each other all the time.... forget it...it gets boring.

God loves me no matter what and I thank Him for sending His Son to die for imperfect me who hasn't earned His love!

I'm sorry that you don't know my Savior and that any attempt to encourage you is met with sarcasm. I'll pray for you.

NW82 · Aug 21, 2017

Phoebe Ann said:
Being alone and lonely hasn't killed me. All the sorrow in my life hasn't killed me. Moving every single year or more as a child didn't kill me even though I hated. Having a father who criticized me every chance he got, who considered everyone without a higher education a loser, who told his only son to go live in Iraq if he didn't agree with every policy of our government, who thought only his jokes were funny, who embezzled his granddaughter's money when her mother died; having two unkind stepfathers; having relatives who fought with each other all the time.... forget it...it gets boring.

God loves me no matter what and I thank Him for sending His Son to die for imperfect me who hasn't earned His love!

I'm sorry that you don't know my Savior and that any attempt to encourage you is met with sarcasm. I'll pray for you.

What an assumption....
Everyone here hasn't helped or encouraged, they have specifically told me to deal with it and that I am wrong if I don't like my current situation. You assume I'm not saved because I'm seriously lonely. That's the only thing. I am thankful for my job, my finances and my life, given what I've survived. But when I am literally alone 90% of my day and I feel like it's crushing me...and I get told to deal with, to like it, to accept it....yes I'm going to get sarcastic.

Rescued One · Aug 21, 2017

NW82 said:
What an assumption....
Everyone here hasn't helped or encouraged, they have specifically told me to deal with it and that I am wrong if I don't like my current situation. You assume I'm not saved because I'm seriously lonely. That's the only thing. I am thankful for my job, my finances and my life, given what I've survived. But when I am literally alone 90% of my day and I feel like it's crushing me...and I get told to deal with, to like it, to accept it....yes I'm going to get sarcastic.

No, I told you to talk to your doctor, but you aren't satisfied with any suggestions. Don't accept anyone's advice ... just go on complaining and blaming others. I am alone usually six days a week.

I'm done with this thread. You don't appreciate anyone's advice.

ToBeLoved · Aug 23, 2017

NW82 said:
What an assumption....
Everyone here hasn't helped or encouraged, they have specifically told me to deal with it and that I am wrong if I don't like my current situation. You assume I'm not saved because I'm seriously lonely. That's the only thing. I am thankful for my job, my finances and my life, given what I've survived. But when I am literally alone 90% of my day and I feel like it's crushing me...and I get told to deal with, to like it, to accept it....yes I'm going to get sarcastic.

What advice would you give you then? If we have no good advice.

What advice would you give you? What happiness can you find in life that is not related to a relationship?

NW82 · Aug 24, 2017

ToBeLoved said:
What happiness can you find in life that is not related to a relationship?

I don't see any, that's the point.

Cimorene · Feb 15, 2019

Are you still alone & feeling hopeless?

Andrew77 · Feb 17, 2019

NW82 said:
I'm looking for advice about how to accept being alone for the rest of my life. Is there a way to let go and ignore the pain? My ex-wife cheated on me and asked for a divorce between Christmas and New Year in 2009...that's 6 and a half years. I got told it was just a season, but 6+ years isn't a season. I'm 35, I have a good job, but the friends I do have do not live nearby (a couple hundred miles at the closest) and my nearest family is a 600 miles away. I basically work, and do nothing else. I've tried going to churches but even the best one I had been a part of ended up being fake people and more concerned with title than Christ. I honestly want to just give up and stop everything. I often wonder if God hates me, but then I have to go back to His word that says he doesn't; but if that's true then why do I have to suffer through loneliness for so long...what did I do?

So what have you done to meet women? How much effort have you put into this? See, I'm cool being alone. My first date in my entire life, was last year, at age 41. Some crazy lady, at work, asked me out on a date, and I ended up agreeing only out of honor to her bravery for asking.

But I'm fine being alone. In fact I can't really imagine having someone else in my life.

My point though is that without putting in any effort, I've had one girl in the 41 years of my life, ask me out on a date.

If you want a women, you need to start a national search. You need to join some dating sites. You need to join some singles groups. You need to start putting your name out there. Asking friends and family to set you up with someone.

Is it fun? Is it a blast? Is it this joy filled experience? NO! But dude, the way you win an Olympic medal, isn't by sitting in a spa. It is hard work. Searching for spouse requires that same level of commitment and effort.

When people search for Diamonds in Africa, it sucks. You dig through the dirt and water, and sifting endlessly, to find that Diamond. When you search for your Diamond spouse, it is going to take sometimes a TON of effort. And you may find a dozen women that are absolutely not what you want, before you find the one that is.

But this is how you win.

Now the second thing you said about Church and fake people....

I've tried going to churches but even the best one I had been a part of ended up being fake people and more concerned with title than Christ.

Two answers.... Either keep looking for a church, or find one and start going to church, because you are worshiping G-d, not worrying about fake people.

I have gone to some churches that I didn't like the music, didn't like how they operated..... but I still went. Why? Because it isn't about me. When you go to church, is it about YOU? YOU don't like it. YOU don't like fake people. YOU are not happy. YOU want a better church. YOU YOU YOU YOU?

Where is G-d in that? How about you go to Church, and worry more about worshiping the G-d of the universe, and not worrying about whether someone in the church is fake and concerned about a title.

Put G-d first. Worshiping him is the goal, not finding out if the guy next to you, is concerned about his title. And along those lines, how about you join a ministry. Start doing something with your free time, as a service to G-d.

So that's my two answers.
1. Start going to church, because you worship the lord, and not worry about fake people.
2. Start putting some real effort into finding a wife.

Now, don't get me wrong.... if the churches are teaching something crazy, like Jesus didn't really die, or that you need to stock up on shotgun shells and canned food, and drilling wells in the backyard, because the end is coming next week....... Don't go to that church. If there are no non-crazy churches.... then maybe you need to even consider moving. But you still need to find a real church to join, and be apart of.

Online churches, I recommend Sea Coast Church, Woodland Hills Family Church, Celebration Church in Wisconsin. However, these are not a replacement for a real church that you should physically go to on Sunday. These are temporary places you can spend your Sunday's with, until you find a good church to go to.

Lastly, maybe you are putting in the effort to find a wife, and you still coming up empty. Move back to where your family is, and find a wife there. Or, you need to find an alternative way of finding a wife. Whatever method you are using right now, is failing you, so try another.

Some people work super hard at something, and it doesn't work for them, so they give up. If the method doesn't work, you need a new method. Not try harder at a failing method.

So I hope that helps. Best of luck. You can do this, trust me. Unless you have some fatal character flaw of some sort... and then you need to fix that first. But otherwise, there are plenty of women looking for a man they can trust to do life with. Plenty.

NW82 · Feb 18, 2019

Cimorene said:
Are you still alone & feeling hopeless?

More or less yeah, but I've gotten to the point that I've accepted this is how God wants me to be...not much I can do about it but accept that it's His will; like it's been pointed out God never promised us happiness.

Andrew77 said:
So what have you done to meet women? How much effort have you put into this? See, I'm cool being alone. My first date in my entire life, was last year, at age 41. Some crazy lady, at work, asked me out on a date, and I ended up agreeing only out of honor to her bravery for asking.

But I'm fine being alone. In fact I can't really imagine having someone else in my life.

My point though is that without putting in any effort, I've had one girl in the 41 years of my life, ask me out on a date.

If you want a women, you need to start a national search. You need to join some dating sites. You need to join some singles groups. You need to start putting your name out there. Asking friends and family to set you up with someone.

Is it fun? Is it a blast? Is it this joy filled experience? NO! But dude, the way you win an Olympic medal, isn't by sitting in a spa. It is hard work. Searching for spouse requires that same level of commitment and effort.

When people search for Diamonds in Africa, it sucks. You dig through the dirt and water, and sifting endlessly, to find that Diamond. When you search for your Diamond spouse, it is going to take sometimes a TON of effort. And you may find a dozen women that are absolutely not what you want, before you find the one that is.

But this is how you win.

Now the second thing you said about Church and fake people....

I've tried going to churches but even the best one I had been a part of ended up being fake people and more concerned with title than Christ.

Two answers.... Either keep looking for a church, or find one and start going to church, because you are worshiping G-d, not worrying about fake people.

I have gone to some churches that I didn't like the music, didn't like how they operated..... but I still went. Why? Because it isn't about me. When you go to church, is it about YOU? YOU don't like it. YOU don't like fake people. YOU are not happy. YOU want a better church. YOU YOU YOU YOU?

Where is G-d in that? How about you go to Church, and worry more about worshiping the G-d of the universe, and not worrying about whether someone in the church is fake and concerned about a title.

Put G-d first. Worshiping him is the goal, not finding out if the guy next to you, is concerned about his title. And along those lines, how about you join a ministry. Start doing something with your free time, as a service to G-d.

So that's my two answers.
1. Start going to church, because you worship the lord, and not worry about fake people.
2. Start putting some real effort into finding a wife.

Now, don't get me wrong.... if the churches are teaching something crazy, like Jesus didn't really die, or that you need to stock up on shotgun shells and canned food, and drilling wells in the backyard, because the end is coming next week....... Don't go to that church. If there are no non-crazy churches.... then maybe you need to even consider moving. But you still need to find a real church to join, and be apart of.

Online churches, I recommend Sea Coast Church, Woodland Hills Family Church, Celebration Church in Wisconsin. However, these are not a replacement for a real church that you should physically go to on Sunday. These are temporary places you can spend your Sunday's with, until you find a good church to go to.

Lastly, maybe you are putting in the effort to find a wife, and you still coming up empty. Move back to where your family is, and find a wife there. Or, you need to find an alternative way of finding a wife. Whatever method you are using right now, is failing you, so try another.

Some people work super hard at something, and it doesn't work for them, so they give up. If the method doesn't work, you need a new method. Not try harder at a failing method.

So I hope that helps. Best of luck. You can do this, trust me. Unless you have some fatal character flaw of some sort... and then you need to fix that first. But otherwise, there are plenty of women looking for a man they can trust to do life with. Plenty.

Short version I've tried multiple things over the years, I've moved literally across the country, my family is literally spread out all over the country, and if a Church isn't going to follow the outline laid out in the bible then they are wrong. I've pretty much resigned myself that I'm going to be alone the rest of my life. It's hard, and I'm sure it will continue to be. I don't see sleep most nights because the pain of loneliness is so crushing...I basically end up passing out from exhaustion, and then do it all over again. There isn't much anyone can do to be honest. I feel I'm just destined to be miserable then die, as no one I know really cares much. For example I've spent $4000 on multiple trips to see family over 2018. How many times did anyone some see me? Zero. How many times was I called just to see how I'm doing, maybe 3 times over the course of the entire year and only from my mother. I've been accused of not taking advice in this thread, and it's pretty much a false accusation. I can't take advice to do something of which I've already attempted. It is not negative to say "that won't work" or "I can't do that" when I've already tried it, or my work will not allow for a move, for example; it's simply fact. So while I appreciate the sentiment, 80% of what you've suggested I've already attempted multiple times, and to your point repeating something that doesn't work isn't really a good idea. As to the other 20%, I just don't have the energy to try anymore. I'm not good enough for any woman so far, I'm not good enough for my family to even try to put in effort (even though I do), and I'm not good enough for God to use in me in some fashion although He requires me to be alone.

sea5763 · Feb 19, 2019

I think you might be having trouble just because of your location. San Francisco is supposed to have the second largest amount of single men in the nation. While that’s great for me as a woman it’s not so great for the men. I know you said you can’t move but if the opportunity arises you might want to consider that

Andrew77 · Feb 19, 2019

NW82 said:
More or less yeah, but I've gotten to the point that I've accepted this is how God wants me to be...not much I can do about it but accept that it's His will; like it's been pointed out God never promised us happiness.

Short version I've tried multiple things over the years, I've moved literally across the country, my family is literally spread out all over the country, and if a Church isn't going to follow the outline laid out in the bible then they are wrong. I've pretty much resigned myself that I'm going to be alone the rest of my life. It's hard, and I'm sure it will continue to be. I don't see sleep most nights because the pain of loneliness is so crushing...I basically end up passing out from exhaustion, and then do it all over again. There isn't much anyone can do to be honest. I feel I'm just destined to be miserable then die, as no one I know really cares much. For example I've spent $4000 on multiple trips to see family over 2018. How many times did anyone some see me? Zero. How many times was I called just to see how I'm doing, maybe 3 times over the course of the entire year and only from my mother. I've been accused of not taking advice in this thread, and it's pretty much a false accusation. I can't take advice to do something of which I've already attempted. It is not negative to say "that won't work" or "I can't do that" when I've already tried it, or my work will not allow for a move, for example; it's simply fact. So while I appreciate the sentiment, 80% of what you've suggested I've already attempted multiple times, and to your point repeating something that doesn't work isn't really a good idea. As to the other 20%, I just don't have the energy to try anymore. I'm not good enough for any woman so far, I'm not good enough for my family to even try to put in effort (even though I do), and I'm not good enough for God to use in me in some fashion although He requires me to be alone.

And possibly what you said is true. I don't know. I can only go by what you have said here.

I think where I find it hard to believe is that, I myself see myself in the same light. Meaning, if there was ever a born loser in life, I'm that guy. I failed out of college. Not even a drop out... not gave up... failed out. I failed so many classes so many times, that I figured out I couldn't cut it. Since then I've bounced around from one dead end low wage no-hope job, to another. I can just barely take care of my own bills, and there isn't any hope for something better in the future. At least nothing I can see. This year, will be the first year in my life, I made more than $25,000 in a single year. Beyond that, I'm a butt ugly fat guy. Nothing to look at for sure.

Yet even then, despite having no redeeming value whatsoever, I've had about 5 women in my life that were interested in me. For what reason, no one can possibly know. I said I only had my first 'date' last year, and that's true. I never dated any of the other chicks, because I wasn't interested in being with a woman. The only difference between them and the last one, was that she asked for a date. The other waited for me to ask, and that wasn't going to happen.

My point though is, you seem to have more going for you, than I do. Moreover, I've seen guys that were far worse off than I am. Didn't even have a stable job, and looked even worse... yet they had women.

That leads me to believe that there is something else holding you back. Perhaps it is simply that you need to put G-d first in your life. How do you do that? I don't know. You have to find that answer yourself.

Another possibility is that you are coming across as desperate. Desperate will drive away nearly all women. Just like Desperate will drive away an employer. You go into a job interview with the 'smell' of desperate, and you will not get that job. Similarly, if a woman 'smells' desperate all over you, they won't show up again.

And possibly, maybe your multiple times trying stuff, is just not enough times.

I am reminded of the story of Mark Gungor. He does a seminar on marriage, all across the entire country, and even in other countries. But when he started, his first dozen shows were completely empty. One, to three or four couples would show up, and the place would be empty otherwise. It was nerve racking, but he kept at it, again, and again and again. He did an entire show, to a nearly empty room over and over and over, until finally he showed up at a one seminar where I was contemplating quitting, only to find the place sold out, filled to capacity.

Point being, he was doing everything right, following exactly what G-d wanted him to do, it failed over and over and over, until failure was all he had to show for his work. But he kept going until it was a success.

So I don't know how many times you have tried, but perhaps you need to try a dozen, or two dozen more times.

However, lastly...

I'm not going to argue with you on this. Maybe you are right. Maybe you are destined to be alone. I don't have these answers. None of us are G-d. So maybe you need to start getting into a mindset where you learn to be happy alone. I have no idea dude. I'm just calling it like I see it. Perhaps you just need to put your face to the ground each night and just tell G-d in plain English "I don't know what to do with my life, give me wisdom on this". There are a few prayers that the Bible says G-d will always answer, and one is for wisdom. Maybe you just need to pray for some wisdom about why you are stuck. And be patient. You need to keep asking, until he answers.

SavedNoCompromise · Feb 23, 2019

God loves you. Humans are his creation. The only one who hates us is the devil because we have a chance to avoid eternal damnation and he doesn't because he rose up against God in his own selfish pride.

Divorce is difficult. And a minister who knows how to talk people through integrity and forgiveness is Pastor Mike. You can follow and tweet or private message him @prophet_lass

We are not dealing with people but spirits. The devil hates marriage. And he will use any opening he can in any human being to destroy marriage between man and woman. Marriage is a sacred reflection and symbol of reconciliation and reunion with God.

When we know who to truly be upset with, it gets just a teency wit easier to walk in forgiveness. You forgive for yourself. This does not mean you ignore the pain. Acknowledge with the Lord "I am hurt, please send me peace that passes all understanding and help me remain my integrity through this. Prepare my heart and mind for the next person you will send me."

Book recommendation: Healing without Scars by David G. Evans

Another book recommendation is : Destroying the Spirit of Rejection: Receive Love and Acceptance and Find Healing by John Eckhardt

Rebuke the spirit of loneliness. And know the Holy Spirit, Jesus and God are waiting with open arms to be the best friend you've ever had.

paul becke · Feb 23, 2019

Open Heart said:
I'm alone like you, but I'm not lonely or unhappy, and I hope I can help you find your joy as well.

First off, why are you so far from your family? I only see family at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I do see them and it makes a big difference. We also keep in close touch over the phone, so that I always know they love me.

When you say all the churches you have been to over the last six years are fake churches, I feel suspicious. It makes me think that your standards are too high, that you are not willing to let the people in churches be real people. Remember that churches are hospitals for sinners, not museums for perfect people. And I'm sure that there were denominations you didn't even try, too! All I'm saying is don't be so picky. Maybe you aren't the cat's meow either?

I divorced when I was 31, and I am now 56. I'm so set in my ways that I don't think I would even make a good wife anymore. I'm just assuming that I'm going to be celibate for the rest of my life. It's not a cake walk.

But you know what? Marriage was not a cake walk either. I've basically traded one set of problems for another. I have my job, my church, my kids to worry about, my volunteer work, my hobbies, and my kitty. Every day when the sun comes up, I say a prayer of thanks to God that for the sunlight, the birds singing, and the cat lying all over my legs. LOL

Now, you are still quite young, and the odds are very good that you WILL find another. So for you we are just talking about enjoying your "stages" in life, wherever you happen to be.

Are you an extrovert? If so, it means being away from friends is deadly. Either you need to make new friends, or you need to move back where your old friends are and take a different job. If you ARE an extrovert, making new friends shouldn't be that big of a problem. How long have you lived at your present residence?

To improve your mood, may I make a couple suggestions that have really worked for me?
1. Develop an attitude of gratitude. Pray every day, thanking the Lord for everything he has given you, including all the small stuff. For example, in jail folks don't get pillows. It's awful trying to sleep without a pillow. Aren't you glad that you have a pillow at night?

2. Find someone worse off than yourself to help. Go work at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen for a couple hours on the weekend. You'll feel good about helping, good about yourself, and you'll be surprised how it will change your attitude about your own life.

3. Develop a support network. Call family if you can't be with them. Find a church, even if it's not perfect. Make new friends. Take a class in the evening to meet new people. Join a bowling league or something similar.

This time alone is an OPPORTUNITY for you to work on yourself. Take advantage of it. You don't need a mate to have a rich and fulfilling life -- find that out for yourself. Then, once you have decided you really like being with yourself, and that life is good, THEN you are ready to meet the next special someone.

'It's awful trying to sleep without a pillow.'
I wouldn't sleep with a pilow if you paid me. Same visiting a Carmelite monastery: sleeping on a wooden board, instead of a mattress, I had a wonderful night's sleep ! Anything to be cussed. Sorry about the digression, NW82, but it seems so important...

Lost4words · Feb 23, 2019

NW82 said:
More or less yeah, but I've gotten to the point that I've accepted this is how God wants me to be...not much I can do about it but accept that it's His will; like it's been pointed out God never promised us happiness.

Short version I've tried multiple things over the years, I've moved literally across the country, my family is literally spread out all over the country, and if a Church isn't going to follow the outline laid out in the bible then they are wrong. I've pretty much resigned myself that I'm going to be alone the rest of my life. It's hard, and I'm sure it will continue to be. I don't see sleep most nights because the pain of loneliness is so crushing...I basically end up passing out from exhaustion, and then do it all over again. There isn't much anyone can do to be honest. I feel I'm just destined to be miserable then die, as no one I know really cares much. For example I've spent $4000 on multiple trips to see family over 2018. How many times did anyone some see me? Zero. How many times was I called just to see how I'm doing, maybe 3 times over the course of the entire year and only from my mother. I've been accused of not taking advice in this thread, and it's pretty much a false accusation. I can't take advice to do something of which I've already attempted. It is not negative to say "that won't work" or "I can't do that" when I've already tried it, or my work will not allow for a move, for example; it's simply fact. So while I appreciate the sentiment, 80% of what you've suggested I've already attempted multiple times, and to your point repeating something that doesn't work isn't really a good idea. As to the other 20%, I just don't have the energy to try anymore. I'm not good enough for any woman so far, I'm not good enough for my family to even try to put in effort (even though I do), and I'm not good enough for God to use in me in some fashion although He requires me to be alone.

Buddy, i am in the same boat.

Go on holiday. Have some fun. Escape reality for a bit. Do things that 'you' want to do.

You never know, you may meet someone. Ok, maybe not marriage but, as a close friend and companion.

May God bless you and protect you

paul becke · Feb 23, 2019

NW82 said:
God may love everyone, but I'm getting to the point where He must not like me very much. I have no purpose, I have no joy, I have nothing. Before anyone assumes, know this: I was content and happy a month ago. Nothing bothered me. I read and still do read my Bible. I have biblical standards for a church I would attend and nothing I've found follows the biblical model. I can't move, I have friends but they are far away as is my family. I find it sad that I have to cover everything people try to point out. I simply want to know why God favored my twin brother his entire life and I have gotten the crap end. My brother was able to join the military, which is all I wanted when I was younger, but no I HAD to be born with asthma. I've had Legionnaire's Disease, Swine Flu and survived it all; for what purpose? My brother got to fight for his country, while I sat a home because I got turned down every time. My brother has a wife, kids and will carry on our family name...whereas I have nothing and no one. I have no hope because I am unlovable. I work out 6 days a week and it doesn't make me feel better. I can dead-lift almost 500 lbs. I can back squat 405. I have a good career where I am respected and held up as the go to guy. My job supports hundreds of thousands of troops. And I would give it all up just for one thing in my life and God continues to ignore me. All I want to know is why. I ask here because he isn't answering me.

You do need to cultivate your heart. Forget what other people have - the Haves, (not necessarily even financially, which apparently is not a problem you have). It's your own heart that needs your own care. The US (and my country (the UK) are and have been responsible for visiting murder and mayhem upon poor inocent people across the globe. Indirectly you are involved, but while sympathiszing with your brother, be glad you are not 'at the sharp end' raining Lord knows what upon once-thriving cities of mostly kind people.

What's with the weight-lifting, self-referential and sterile, when your free time is limited, and there are so many other activities in which you could share some joy with others.

I don't get the sense that you really understand that the world and its values are largely upside down, and hence full of humour, banter, goodness knows what - and as for the rest, what major tragedies suffered by others we read about all the time. So, just about every piece of advice you have been given is valuable, as it is aimed at getting you out of yourself (I'm an introvert, but when I mix with people, I get a wonderfu buzz). Other people are fascinating. All characters - no doubt, including yourself, if you give people half a chance. I even struggle, not entirely successfully, to restrain my laughter at little very human passages in the Gospels during the Mass. The Bible is absoluteyl full of humour.

The other day, it was about the woman with the issue of blood, who touched Jesus' cloak - and Jesus looked around and asked who touched him. You can almost see Peter's reaction, as he complained to Jesus that they were being continually jostled by the crowd listening to Jesus, and he was asking who touched him ! You get the feeling that there was a tone of weary (almost) resignation about Peter's voice ; in fact, anyone else, you get the feeling he'd have rolled his eyes in the direction of other Apostles, when Jesus turned away !

I suppose the bottom line is : Try to look beyond the lying headlines and articles of our mainstream media, to understand as much as you can, the way the world actually is. Not what you've been spoonfed. And just as importantly, I recommend that you read two books : one on comparative religion by Aldous Huxley, called, the Perennial Philosophy (which I think should be a standard text in all our seminaries), and Christ in His Mysteries, by Blessed Abbot Marmion (another 'standard'), which emphasises the very real, vulnerable humanity of Jesus - something our churches largely avoid - perhaps inevitably, since it is his divinity that trumps all. And yet, for us, Jesus humanity is a fabulous gift for us to approach Jesus in his divinity. God is not less personal than us, but more so.

Finally, you should understand that however reluctant you are to bear this cross, it will not be without its reward. Far from it. You may not realise it, but God values you, cherishes you, just the way your are, with unimaginable love. Next time you take a girl out, avoid sounding 'needy'.

Oh, and be exceptionally grateful to God that you have a secure well-paid job- even if, at present you're far away from family and friends, when there are families sleeping in culverts and subways.

paul becke · Feb 23, 2019

Lost4words said:
Buddy, i am in the same boat.

Go on holiday. Have some fun. Escape reality for a bit. Do things that 'you' want to do.

You never know, you may meet someone. Ok, maybe not marriage but, as a close friend and companion.

May God bless you and protect you

Like your photo signature. I'd add : 'And probably, like a kitten, a good clip round the ear by your mother.... !

paul becke · Feb 23, 2019

NW82 said:
Actually it is, but please tell me more about what I already know. You said:

So if you are miserable, then be content in misery.

You're stating to ignore my personality's mindset and again be content in misery.

You have direct input and interaction on all of this...I don't even have the option.

If you do your job, you won't get fired...laid off perhaps, but not fired. There is always an answer to why something happened, as everything has a cause and affect.

NW82, self-pity does not have to be part of your character. It is very negative and harmful, and actually, immature. You have to something about it, other people can't. Your mindset is the problem, the source of it is not 'out there' and/or other people's incomprehension.

Libertarianism is the last party you want to belong to. 'What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine' is not a characteristically-Christian slogan. Are you not paid from other people's taxes ?

paul becke · Feb 23, 2019

Clicked in error.

NW82 · Feb 24, 2019

paul becke said:
You do need to cultivate your heart. Forget what other people have - the Haves, (not necessarily even financially, which apparently is not a problem you have). It's your own heart that needs your own care. The US (and my country (the UK) are and have been responsible for visiting murder and mayhem upon poor inocent people across the globe. Indirectly you are involved, but while sympathiszing with your brother, be glad you are not 'at the sharp end' raining Lord knows what upon once-thriving cities of mostly kind people.

What's with the weight-lifting, self-referential and sterile, when your free time is limited, and there are so many other activities in which you could share some joy with others.

I don't get the sense that you really understand that the world and its values are largely upside down, and hence full of humour, banter, goodness knows what - and as for the rest, what major tragedies suffered by others we read about all the time. So, just about every piece of advice you have been given is valuable, as it is aimed at getting you out of yourself (I'm an introvert, but when I mix with people, I get a wonderfu buzz). Other people are fascinating. All characters - no doubt, including yourself, if you give people half a chance. I even struggle, not entirely successfully, to restrain my laughter at little very human passages in the Gospels during the Mass. The Bible is absoluteyl full of humour.

The other day, it was about the woman with the issue of blood, who touched Jesus' cloak - and Jesus looked around and asked who touched him. You can almost see Peter's reaction, as he complained to Jesus that they were being continually jostled by the crowd listening to Jesus, and he was asking who touched him ! You get the feeling that there was a tone of weary (almost) resignation about Peter's voice ; in fact, anyone else, you get the feeling he'd have rolled his eyes in the direction of other Apostles, when Jesus turned away !

I suppose the bottom line is : Try to look beyond the lying headlines and articles of our mainstream media, to understand as much as you can, the way the world actually is. Not what you've been spoonfed. And just as importantly, I recommend that you read two books : one on comparative religion by Aldous Huxley, called, the Perennial Philosophy (which I think should be a standard text in all our seminaries), and Christ in His Mysteries, by Blessed Abbot Marmion (another 'standard'), which emphasises the very real, vulnerable humanity of Jesus - something our churches largely avoid - perhaps inevitably, since it is his divinity that trumps all. And yet, for us, Jesus humanity is a fabulous gift for us to approach Jesus in his divinity. God is not less personal than us, but more so.

Finally, you should understand that however reluctant you are to bear this cross, it will not be without its reward. Far from it. You may not realise it, but God values you, cherishes you, just the way your are, with unimaginable love. Next time you take a girl out, avoid sounding 'needy'.

Oh, and be exceptionally grateful to God that you have a secure well-paid job- even if, at present you're far away from family and friends, when there are families sleeping in culverts and subways.

You do realize that your position is, "you're not as worse of as others, so why do you feel alone?" What others' circumstances are, are not relevant to my situation. As far as the "visiting murder and mayhem upon poor inocent" I don't believe the United States or the United Kingdom have done this in any way, which makes it your opinion and not fact. This, "Oh, and be exceptionally grateful to God that you have a secure well-paid job- even if, at present you're far away from family and friends, when there are families sleeping in culverts and subways." is a non-sequitur to the topic at hand.

paul becke said:
NW82, self-pity does not have to be part of your character. It is very negative and harmful, and actually, immature. You have to something about it, other people can't. Your mindset is the problem, the source of it is not 'out there' and/or other people's incomprehension.

Libertarianism is the last party you want to belong to. 'What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine' is not a characteristically-Christian slogan. Are you not paid from other people's taxes ?

Not sure where you're getting this. I do not control the actions of others, which means it has nothing to do with me, but rather their decisions. Also the tax piece....what are you talking about? I do not get paid from US tax dollars...I work for a private company, which is based in the free market and capitalism...that's where I get paid from. Libertarians, basically believe that the Government sucks at everything and they should stay out of the lives of the people...of course there are conservatives and liberals within Libertarians, I tend to be Conservative/Libertarian.

Alone with no hope in sight

...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me

Well-Known Member

...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me

Well-Known Member

...yet not I, but the grace of God that is with me

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

The walking accident

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

The walking accident

Member

Regular Member

Jesus I Trust In You

Regular Member

Regular Member

Regular Member

Regular Member

Well-Known Member

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency