Alone In The Christian Community

[cedric1200]

Is there clicks in the Christian Community?

Sometimes I feel like having nothing to do with other Christians. People don't know what it's like to be tempted with gay tendencies and be apart of a community that only love you because Jesus told them to. I can tell the difference between people loving me because they have to love me, and someone who really likes being around me. It's one of the reasons why I don't like agape love.

I do get accepted in church. People are very nice: they shake my hand, give me hugs, pray for me, and help me out when if they can. (Don't get me wrong, I will do the same thing. Except I am disabled, so no one ever needs my help. I will just write a check.) But I never make close friends. I personally do believe there is a reason.

I don't want to be loved just because God tells them to. In fact, I think that it is fake.

But I realize I am being a hypocrite. Because it's the same thing for me. I love people or I should say I am nice to people, because I fear, as in I am afraid of, the Almighty.

This is not criticizing Christians in a way that you think. People have the right to not like me or enjoy my company; for I do not like all people myself and would hate being forced to hang out with people. I just get sick and tired of people of telling me I need to be in church when I don't belong there. I am a loner. If I went to church, I would feel so alone and probably commit suicide.

Do I need to a place that brings emotional termoil on me? No, I do not. I don't belong there. And people preaching to me about being in church is based on religious propaganda. I struggle with homosexual desires. I was always alone in church.

Yes, Christians love gays. But only because God tells them to. I don't want to be loved because you were told to. Now, it's fine that Christians don't want to relate to me. Just understand where I am coming from. I am suppose to be alone. Being in the Christian church causes emotional termoil. And if they can't understand that, I don't know what tell them.

I can handle social networks. But it's the actual church that I can't handle.

 

[BrokenWarrior]

Hello Beloved,

If someone who claims to be a "Christian" Really is a believer. The kindness he/she shows you will be real Love,Iregardless of it being Agape.

Also, are you implying you are gay? The vibe I'm getting, Because of your comment about Christians needing to love gays because God says so,coupled with the feel of the rest of your post. Makes it feel like you're saying you're gay and other Believers are not accepting of you.

Well,one cannot be gay and a Christian. But don't forget,struggling with a sexual temptation and actually being a gay are two very different things. So if you really are a Believer,stop identifying yourself as a gay. It will only lead to more confusion in your own mind.

Another thing, as a believer, it is VERY good to go to a house of worship. It will strengthen you and give you knowledge and wisdom. I suggest going to a Southern Baptist or non-denominational church,as they are normally more Scriptural. This is not propaganda,maybe it is for fake churches and apostates,but a true church with true believers,and a true Pastor is one of the most glorious things a believer can experience on earth. And it is very healthy for a Christian.

God be with you!
-Your Brother In Christ

 

[jacks]

I think many people can relate to feeling alone at church. In most cases it isn't because of who the person is (or their sexual tendencies), it is in general just hard for most people to reach out to strangers. I go to church alone and don't take it personally when others pretty much ignore me. I wish they would reach out to me, but maybe I should be the one reaching out to others. I have gotten involved in small bible study groups and that helps too.

Next time you go to church reach out to someone who looks alone. Be the one who initiates the contact, I'm sure that other lonely person will appreciate it. Who knows maybe you'll both make a real friend.

 

[cedric1200]

Hello Beloved,

If someone who claims to be a "Christian" Really is a believer. The kindness he/she shows you will be real Love,Iregardless of it being Agape.

Also, are you implying you are gay? The vibe I'm getting, Because of your comment about Christians needing to love gays because God says so,coupled with the feel of the rest of your post. Makes it feel like you're saying you're gay and other Believers are not accepting of you.

Well,one cannot be gay and a Christian. But don't forget,struggling with a sexual temptation and actually being a gay are two very different things. So if you really are a Believer,stop identifying yourself as a gay. It will only lead to more confusion in your own mind.

Another thing, as a believer, it is VERY good to go to a house of worship. It will strengthen you and give you knowledge and wisdom. I suggest going to a Southern Baptist or non-denominational church,as they are normally more Scriptural. This is not propaganda,maybe it is for fake churches and apostates,but a true church with true believers,and a true Pastor is one of the most glorious things a believer can experience on earth. And it is very healthy for a Christian.

God be with you!
-Your Brother In Christ

No, I am not a practicing homosexual. I am still a virgin. But I struggle with lust and temptation.

So I know I could not be a practicing homosexual and be a Christian. But I still struggle with desire. I don't like that. And I still question whether I am truly saved or not.

 

[BryanW92]

No, I am not a practicing homosexual. I am still a virgin. But I struggle with lust and temptation.

So I know I could not be a practicing homosexual and be a Christian. But I still struggle with desire. I don't like that. And I still question whether I am truly saved or not.

You're saved if you believe that Jesus can forgive you for your sins. He doesn't make the desire go away. The fact that you feel that you are homosexual, but have never acted on it because you know that it would be a sin means that the Holy Spirit is working in you like a white hot furnace works on iron and that you are hearing his counsel.

How could you not be saved?

 

[cedric1200]

I think many people can relate to feeling alone at church. In most cases it isn't because of who the person is (or their sexual tendencies), it is in general just hard for most people to reach out to strangers. I go to church alone and don't take it personally when others pretty much ignore me. I wish they would reach out to me, but maybe I should be the one reaching out to others. I have gotten involved in small bible study groups and that helps too.

Next time you go to church reach out to someone who looks alone. Be the one who initiates the contact, I'm sure that other lonely person will appreciate it. Who knows maybe you'll both make a real friend.

Yes, I could do that.

But what I am saying is that it is OK for me to be alone.

I am not criticizing people for leaving me alone, although it certainly seems like I am. I am criticizing people who tell me that I need to be in church when I don't belong there. People have the right to not like me and not let me be part of their group. Telling them that they have to love me and make me part of their group is taking away their rights.

And telling me that I am in sin for keeping to myself and choosing not to be part of a church, is taking away my rights to protect myself from getting hurt and making myself vulnerable.

It's OK that I don't belong to a church. It's OK that I don't have close friends or any type of relationships.

Don't get me wrong, I want to be loved and I want to love. It is a little depressing that I don't have relationships. But it is the way it is. And I can prevent myself from committing suicide by doing fun things alone. I was about to name them, but decided not to, but there is a lot. It's awesome and it helps. Frank Victor (I think that was his name) survived in the concentrate camp by keeping his mind occupied and playing games. Even though, of course, my situation is not nearly as bad as the concentration camp, I am in my own prison. And I am just trying to survive: both physically and spiritually. This is life for me.

The thing is when I do social activity and I am alone, it hurts when people ignore me; which is their right. However, it still hurts, but they did nothing wrong.

So I feel like I am not welcomed there.

But my stress is when other believers tell me I am in sin for not going to a place where they only tolerate me.

I was just frustrated when I wrote this.

 

[cedric1200]

You're saved if you believe that Jesus can forgive you for your sins. He doesn't make the desire go away. The fact that you feel that you are homosexual, but have never acted on it because you know that it would be a sin means that the Holy Spirit is working in you like a white hot furnace works on iron and that you are hearing his counsel.

How could you not be saved?

I have to process what you said, even though it seems simple.

 

[BrokenWarrior]

Beloved,

I do not mean to sound condescending ,but you sound like you're full of bitterness.

I apologize if I'm missing the mark,but it's just the vibe I'm getting. Especially with you implying that without some slight form of distraction,suicide would be a viable option to you.

Yes, it is ok to not go to a church. But it's highly,HIGHLY recommended.

You should really look for a Scripturaly accurate church. Because if you can find a real church,with real believers,and are yourself a real believer,you will find yourself most welcome and most loved.

Again,Yes, it is ok to not be in a church,and no, it is not a sin,but it is healthy and encouraged.

Now,as to your doubting.

Beloved, I was in the same position as you. And I tell you the truth.

If you repent of your sins and believe in Jesus(Who He is,and has/does/will do) and place all your cards on Him to save you in the end. YOU ARE SAVED. End of discussion.

You are still in your Evil,vial flesh and will be tempted and even fail at times,but you are saved.

I recommend Youtubing "Ray Comfort Street Preacher" I believe God will touch your heart through those videos

God be with you Beloved!
-Your Brother In Christ

 

[cedric1200]

Beloved,

I do not mean to sound condescending ,but you sound like you're full of bitterness.

I apologize if I'm missing the mark,but it's just the vibe I'm getting. Especially with you implying that without some slight form of distraction,suicide would be a viable option to you.

Yes, it is ok to not go to a church. But it's highly,HIGHLY recommended.

You should really look for a Scripturaly accurate church. Because if you can find a real church,with real believers,and are yourself a real believer,you will find yourself most welcome and most loved.

Again,Yes, it is ok to not be in a church,and no, it is not a sin,but it is healthy and encouraged.

Now,as to your doubting.

Beloved, I was in the same position as you. And I tell you the truth.

If you repent of your sins and believe in Jesus(Who He is,and has/does/will do) and place all your cards on Him to save you in the end. YOU ARE SAVED. End of discussion.

You are still in your Evil,vial flesh and will be tempted and even fail at times,but you are saved.

I recommend Youtubing "Ray Comfort Street Preacher" I believe God will touch your heart through those videos

God be with you Beloved!
-Your Brother In Christ

Thank you

I will look him up.

 

[cedric1200]

And yes, I have some bitterness. But I know I am to blame for that.

 

[BrokenWarrior]

You are most welcomed my Friend,do look him up.

I appreciate your honesty and can tell you that it will help you tremendously in your relationship with Christ. You can go to sleep tonight knowing that at least 1 Fellow Brother is praying for you.

God bless you Beloved!
-Your Brother In Christ

 

[joshuanazar]

I am pretty sure that this has been addressed already, but still here it is again. Real agape love from God involves desire to love. If people only do it because they have to then there is something wrong. But hey we all have something wrong with us, it's called flesh. Have you thought that maybe you just feel as if they are only doing this because they have to, whereas they really do want to love you? I know sometimes I feel alone in church because I hate traditions and I don't think a lot of the people really understand that or even want to. But if I were to be honest, most of that would just be me not really understanding them. Have you tried smaller churches? They are often more inviting than bigger one, but also there is less privacy. There is a man at my church who used to be gay. He stopped practicing but he still sometimes struggles with homosexual desires. He is pretty often working on something with the church. Frankly, he includes himself and we appreciate it. But there will always be people in church that don't really know love because they don't really know God, and they will always try to judge. Until Jesus comes back that's just how it is.

 

[cedric1200]

I am pretty sure that this has been addressed already, but still here it is again. Real agape love from God involves desire to love. If people only do it because they have to then there is something wrong. But hey we all have something wrong with us, it's called flesh. Have you thought that maybe you just feel as if they are only doing this because they have to, whereas they really do want to love you? I know sometimes I feel alone in church because I hate traditions and I don't think a lot of the people really understand that or even want to. But if I were to be honest, most of that would just be me not really understanding them. Have you tried smaller churches? They are often more inviting than bigger one, but also there is less privacy. There is a man at my church who used to be gay. He stopped practicing but he still sometimes struggles with homosexual desires. He is pretty often working on something with the church. Frankly, he includes himself and we appreciate it. But there will always be people in church that don't really know love because they don't really know God, and they will always try to judge. Until Jesus comes back that's just how it is.

I understand.

We all struggle with the flesh; and I also have no right to criticize the church. Heck, I know it is the same with me. I DON'T HAVE THE DESIRE TO LOVE. I am angry and bitter all the time. Mainly, because I want to be selfish and keep to myself so I won't be vulnerable of getting hurt.

Remember when Jesus talked about the good samaritan? Well, if I saw someone hurting like that, I would call someone, but I could never touch him, for he may say "gross don't touch me." And I hate physical contact anyways. All this is due to being hurt. I have seen horrible people that I've become horrible myself.

There was an insident at work where a customer fell. She got angry and started cursing. I did nothing. For I was afraid. I got talked to by a manager.

I did not know the lady that fell. She could be racist, or anti-gay (everyone in my town knows, or thinks I am gay), or she may not want help and she get mad at me for asking.

Now, I have repented from that and I will help someone that needs help, or at least try to help them, regardless if they hurt me or not, because I fear God's wrath more then I fear of getting offended. But I don't ever want to help them. For I know there is a distinct possibility that I can get hurt.

I am very selfish, but I will suppress my selfishness to a point so I don't provoke God to anger.

I will still continue to keep to myself. But I will help those that need help. I just can't make myself vulnerable any more.

So what is my point? I am not criticizing the church for not being loving. I said they have the right to not want to be around me. They also have the right to hate me. I mean, I wouldn't be accepted into Pastor Steve Anderson's church. He would wish that I get some disease and die. But that is OK.

My problem is when other Christians tell me that I am in sin because I don't attend a body of believers and make myself vulnerable of getting hurt.

I can't make myself vulnerable like that.

 

[cedric1200]

You are most welcomed my Friend,do look him up.

I appreciate your honesty and can tell you that it will help you tremendously in your relationship with Christ. You can go to sleep tonight knowing that at least 1 Fellow Brother is praying for you.

God bless you Beloved!
-Your Brother In Christ

God bless you as well.

 

[ron4shua]

Hang in there my brother , your not the only lonely pew warner in those over priced buildings . Do like I did the last three decades of my " church " attendance , seat in the second or third row & focus on Elohim . Don't even look at the person in the pulpit . You don't care how many times he or she checks the time . Focus on Elohim & sing your lungs out , no one in back of you will know who is a little off key , even if it's you . An Assemble of professing Jesus worshipers are people & the flesh has been riding ruff shod over the Spirit since Adam talked Eve into taking the blunt of it , in the first fruit hist . YAHshua/Jesus has made it possible for a free ride to Paradise but we live every day with that self same human (beast) nature . Saul said , he fought the flesh every day . Our Master fought it with Scripture , " it is written " & " get behind me satan " not giving place to hearing transgression . In no place in Scripture is it written " do on to others as they do to you " . What is recorded is " 31“And as you wish men should do to you, you also do to them in the same way." My Sainted Grandmother used to say " The squeaky wheel gets the grease ". That idiom and WWJD has been two of my stones , notes in the box I strap to my forehead . Let the Spirit do it , it's His job anyway . Your brother in Messiah , the servant , ron .

 

[ron4shua]

Rejoice in our Creator . Acts 16 The Scriptures (ISR 1998) 32And they spoke the Word of יהוה to him and to all who were in his house. 33And taking them in that hour of the night, he washed their wounds, and immediately he was immersed, he and all that were his. 34And having brought them into his house, he set food before them. And he rejoiced with all his household, having believed in Elohim. 35And when day came, the authorities sent the officers, saying, “Let these men go.” 36And the jailer reported these words to Sha’ul, saying, “The captains have sent to let you go. Now then, come out and go in peace.” 37But Sha’ul said to them, “They have beaten us publicly, uncondemned, being Romans. They have thrown us into prison, and now, do they throw us out secretly? No indeed! Let them come themselves and bring us out.” 38And the officers reported these words to the authorities, and they were afraid when they heard that they were Romans. Elohim keeps accounts paid up in full !

 

[joshuanazar]

I understand.

We all struggle with the flesh; and I also have no right to criticize the church. Heck, I know it is the same with me. I DON'T HAVE THE DESIRE TO LOVE. I am angry and bitter all the time. Mainly, because I want to be selfish and keep to myself so I won't be vulnerable of getting hurt.

Remember when Jesus talked about the good samaritan? Well, if I saw someone hurting like that, I would call someone, but I could never touch him, for he may say "gross don't touch me." And I hate physical contact anyways. All this is due to being hurt. I have seen horrible people that I've become horrible myself.

There was an insident at work where a customer fell. She got angry and started cursing. I did nothing. For I was afraid. I got talked to by a manager.

I did not know the lady that fell. She could be racist, or anti-gay (everyone in my town knows, or thinks I am gay), or she may not want help and she get mad at me for asking.

Now, I have repented from that and I will help someone that needs help, or at least try to help them, regardless if they hurt me or not, because I fear God's wrath more then I fear of getting offended. But I don't ever want to help them. For I know there is a distinct possibility that I can get hurt.

I am very selfish, but I will suppress my selfishness to a point so I don't provoke God to anger.

I will still continue to keep to myself. But I will help those that need help. I just can't make myself vulnerable any more.

So what is my point? I am not criticizing the church for not being loving. I said they have the right to not want to be around me. They also have the right to hate me. I mean, I wouldn't be accepted into Pastor Steve Anderson's church. He would wish that I get some disease and die. But that is OK.

My problem is when other Christians tell me that I am in sin because I don't attend a body of believers and make myself vulnerable of getting hurt.

I can't make myself vulnerable like that.

I understand the vulnerable part, I have been hurt in the past where almost everyone that I knew left me when I needed them most. Sometimes I don't like to talk to strangers, but then sometimes I remember how it feels to think no one wants you around. People will always hurt us, but Jesus never will. As for the church. It is not a sin to not go to church. But if there were ever a group of people who would the key to finding the happiness, love, and understanding that you are seeking, they will be found in the Body of Christ. I encourage you to keep going to church, not because you have to, but because you need to surround yourself with truly good and positive people if you are to find the peace that comes from God. These people will be a buffer to help protect you from the delusions that the world wants to kill you with. If there are no people at your church like this, then find another church. Keep looking until you find one. And remember all true love, peace, and healing come from Jesus.

 

[NewEnglandGirl]

You have to have love in you to be able to share love. You have to let people get to know you and get to know people to love them. Yes, God tells us to love each other and that is NOT wrong. That is what actually gets us out and opens us up to one another so that we can discover who the other person is and love them for who they really are. If you don't act on his word and make an attempt you're never going to know the other person. Yes there are cliques, everywhere. We are fallen humans, all of us, and sadly it is part of the "human condition".