alcoholism

[Destiny78]

I have to confess- When I started this thread the "friend" that I worried about was me. After reading all your posts, and advice, I decided to see if I could stop drinking if I wanted to. The good news, is that I can. I haven't drank in a couple weeks. The bad news is, that the desire is still there. But I am constantly praying to God, and although it is a daily struggle, I am giving it over to him. I don't think I am an alcoholic. My husband accused me of this, and that is why I ever questioned it. But I do think that I have been on a road where I could easily become one if I am not careful. I just need to rely on God to fill my needs and nothing else. Thank you for your posts and responses. God Bless

 

[Debi1967]

I have to confess- When I started this thread the "friend" that I worried about was me. After reading all your posts, and advice, I decided to see if I could stop drinking if I wanted to. The good news, is that I can. I haven't drank in a couple weeks. The bad news is, that the desire is still there. But I am constantly praying to God, and although it is a daily struggle, I am giving it over to him. I don't think I am an alcoholic. My husband accused me of this, and that is why I ever questioned it. But I do think that I have been on a road where I could easily become one if I am not careful. I just need to rely on God to fill my needs and nothing else. Thank you for your posts and responses. God Bless

That took a great deal of guts and inner strength to admit to the fact that it was you. Although, I sortof guessed that already awhile ago. You see when you weren't in here asking alot of questions but taking the back seat and watching instead..it told me that it might be you and that at the time you were feeling a little ashamed of saying something outright. So what you just did took incredible strength. Although I can tell you that if you haven't been drinking for two weeks and yet still feel the desire to drink then you are indeed an Alcoholic just one that happens to be a dry drunk right now, I can also see you aren't at the point that you are ready to admit that either. If you should ever believe that you are, and need someone to talk to I would be more than glad to talk to you, just PM me at anytime. If your weren't an alcoholic you wouldn't still have the desire to drink at all. It wouldn't be something that you had to fight against. I hope that your journey brings you to the help in whatever form.

 

[Miss Shelby]

Destiny,

I know what you're going through. You can pm me as well.

Michelle

 

[O'Factry]

Destiny78

It is not important for you to accept some label in order to improve your life. You recognize that you are better off without alcohol, and yet still have a desire to drink. That's a great start.

You probably realize that after two weeks, you feel better in all aspects. You should also be experiencing a reduction in cravings. This should give you hope and motivtion. It is a fact that cravings only last for a few minutes. Almost anyone can bear up for a few minutes.

It's largely a matter of wanting to do the right thing. In this case, it's to NOT do something. Many times finding the one right thing to do can seem impossible in a forrest of choices, but we know one thing not to choose. At any given time we have thousands of things to choose from, things to do, things to think about, things to pray about. Maybe finding the single best choice is impossible, but avoiding the few bad ones shouldn't be that difficult. In time, it will become second nature to ignore the lure of alcohol. There must be millions of products on the market that do not interest you at all, and alcohol will just be another one.

 

[Starcrystal]

Even if the desire is still there, we can overcome it by drawing closer to God. Its like that "New Mind" message I posted last week. Sometimes our minds transform slowley, other times right away. We pray that the desire goes away as well.
Please don't let people tell you you are an alcoholic after you've been sober. I found that one very large detriment to staying away from alcohol myself. It was a constant reminder, and who needs to be reminded of what they were when they are no longer that. I've been free from alcohol several years and am not an alcoholic. I just don't think about it, so there is little to remind me.
We really hope you continue this path and draw closer to the Lord, experiencing the joy through Christ that only he can give. Each day pray and thank God for the blessings he's given you....

 

[LisaStar]

I used to party a little bit when I was younger. I just grew closer to God and I felt no need to drink any more. My husband used to drink very much and God helped him quit. Like he said, he doesn't even have the desire to drink and doesn't think about it much. Sometimes when people keep telling you you're this or that you might start to think theres no hope, but there is hope! Always trust God!
We're praying you come to the point in your life you just don't even think about having a drink and that your former way of thinking be changed so you have this new path.

 

[chilehed]

...I decided to see if I could stop drinking if I wanted to. The good news, is that I can. I haven't drank in a couple weeks. The bad news is, that the desire is still there. But I am constantly praying to God, and although it is a daily struggle, I am giving it over to him. I don't think I am an alcoholic...

Be very careful. Alcoholism is both physical and emotional.

Physical, in that an alcoholic's body processes alcohol differently than a non-alcoholic. There are enzymes involved that result in the production of chemicals related to heroin, but far more addicting. This won't change, no matter how long you stay sober (barring a direct miracle from God, which most of us don't get).

Emotional, in that most of us can identify pathologic feelings that existed before we ever started drinking. Some of the struggle I went through getting clean was from physical withdrawal, and some was due to breaking old habits, but the real work was about going back to take care of the pre-existing stuff that got me into the trap in the first place.

Take a good look at the 12 steps. It's really only the first that talks about drinking, the other eleven are about sorting out our internal mess and turning toward God. We are convicted of our sin, realize that God can help us, make an act of the will to turn toward Him, take an examination of concience, confess our sins, make penance, draw closer to God, and tell others.

AA has no opinion one way or the other about how well you can do this without going to AA. You'll hear people in AA say that if you stop going you'll end up drinking, but that's just because they've noticed that that's what usually happens. Most of the time, when people stop going to meetings, it's not because they're attending Mass every day and going to confession every week.

I do rely on God to keep me clean - that's why I keep going to NA and AA, I figure He brought me there for a reason.

 

[Destiny78]

Be very careful. Alcoholism is both physical and emotional.

Physical, in that an alcoholic's body processes alcohol differently than a non-alcoholic. There are enzymes involved that result in the production of chemicals related to heroin, but far more addicting. This won't change, no matter how long you stay sober (barring a direct miracle from God, which most of us don't get).

Emotional, in that most of us can identify pathologic feelings that existed before we ever started drinking. Some of the struggle I went through getting clean was from physical withdrawal, and some was due to breaking old habits, but the real work was about going back to take care of the pre-existing stuff that got me into the trap in the first place.

Take a good look at the 12 steps. It's really only the first that talks about drinking, the other eleven are about sorting out our internal mess and turning toward God. We are convicted of our sin, realize that God can help us, make an act of the will to turn toward Him, take an examination of concience, confess our sins, make penance, draw closer to God, and tell others.

AA has no opinion one way or the other about how well you can do this without going to AA. You'll hear people in AA say that if you stop going you'll end up drinking, but that's just because they've noticed that that's what usually happens. Most of the time, when people stop going to meetings, it's not because they're attending Mass every day and going to confession every week.

I do rely on God to keep me clean - that's why I keep going to NA and AA, I figure He brought me there for a reason.

I could never, ever see myself in an AA meeting. Not that I think there is anything wrong with them at all... but it was hard to admit that I was struggling in front of a computer to a bunch of people I don't know. There is no way I could ever actually get up in front of anyone and do that.

Anyhow, thank you every one for your prayers, and too the ones that said I don't need a label...thank you for that as well. I guess instead of trying to figure out if I am an alcoholic or not (which I really don't think I classify as one) I just need to work on my desire to not drink.

 

[Jamie70]

On a personal note, and going back to what someone said about it not tasting like strawberries n cream, errmm... actually I like the tast of some beers. The German Alt beers are the best in my opinion.

Regarding your friend, I actually think you should try to talk to her about it. In my opinion, 2 mixers a day plus on the weekend is quite much. You could try to contact your local AA (alcoholics anonymous) group and ask them what constitues an alcoholic. Is your friend Christian? If not, then I think she would be more at home with the AA group. If she is Christian then it wont do any harm, people often speak about their experiences with alcohol and why they take to the bottle to escape (from something)...which is usually the case. Well, I would actually try to speak to her first. Sometimes, people just like a drink and if they dont harm themselves or anyone else then is it really a problem?
My father was an alcoholic (currently recovering) so I have some experience with it. Hope this gives you a few pointers.

All the best,

Jamie

 

[Jamie70]

I have to confess- When I started this thread the "friend" that I worried about was me. After reading all your posts, and advice, I decided to see if I could stop drinking if I wanted to. The good news, is that I can. I haven't drank in a couple weeks. The bad news is, that the desire is still there. But I am constantly praying to God, and although it is a daily struggle, I am giving it over to him. I don't think I am an alcoholic. My husband accused me of this, and that is why I ever questioned it. But I do think that I have been on a road where I could easily become one if I am not careful. I just need to rely on God to fill my needs and nothing else. Thank you for your posts and responses. God Bless

The desire will always be there sister. Like my dad says... 'I still believe there is another drink in me'. The desire will never leave you. AA is not that bad. My dad was scared before he went there and then he ended up meeting a great bunch of people. How is it difficult to talk to a bunch of stragers? I would say it's more embarrasing to say it in front of all your neighbours.

 

[Jamie70]

. I don't think I am an alcoholic.

Without sounding sarcastic.. that's the first problem... denial. I rekon every alcoholic in the world at first says the same thing, "i'm not an alcoholic!". If you read about AA then that's the first step. Admitting it!

 

[chilehed]

I could never, ever see myself in an AA meeting. Not that I think there is anything wrong with them at all... but it was hard to admit that I was struggling in front of a computer to a bunch of people I don't know. There is no way I could ever actually get up in front of anyone and do that...QUOTE]

I understand.

If you ever are tempted to change your mind, remember that you can always just sit in the back and listen, and say nothing other than that's what you want to do.

 

[HesMyAll]

Destiny, I am glad that you are able to abstain and I will be keeping you in prayer that you will continue to abstain. The problem with alcohol is that the more a person uses it, the harder it is to abstain from it. I know from personal experience. Many people in my family were alcoholics and I was very blessed to escape being entrapped by alcohol. My husband is also an alcoholic. He has no control to refuse to drink. He is powerless against it. He knows that there is help available but he doesn't want help. He has lost so much already. And now we are about to lose our home but still it isn't enough for him to give up drinking. I asked him the other day how much more he has to lose before it is enough and he wouldn't even answer me. His family has all turned their backs on him. Sadly he will lose everything he has ever had. He will lose his home and finally he will lose his wife and child. I can't change him but I can change what I am willing to tolerate. And I can't tolerate it anymore. Please don't let this become you.

 

[Miss Shelby]

I could never, ever see myself in an AA meeting. Not that I think there is anything wrong with them at all... but it was hard to admit that I was struggling in front of a computer to a bunch of people I don't know. There is no way I could ever actually get up in front of anyone and do that.

I used to feel the same way. But, after I started to go I noticed that I shared a common bond with everyone there, and they understood where I was coming from. There was no judgement at all, just acceptance and friendliness. And complete anonymity. And like chilhed said you don't have to say a word. I would recommend that if you do go, start out at speaker meetings. That is when someone gets up and tells their story. It's less threatening because there is no pressure for you to talk at all, not eve to say that you'd like not to talk. You can find them by getting a 'When and Where' book through your local chapter AA office.

But you go at your own speed, and I pray that God will help you sort it out.

Michelle

 

[Debi1967]

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/
Destiny,
If you go to this site you will be able to access the Big Book of AA online and read it online...It is my suggestion to you that you do and then decide for yourself what is best because we most certainly cannot force you to go. I remember though when I first went ot meeting though I certainly didn't want to walk in the door either no less have to say to anyone that I might have a drinking problem. I wasn't ready to say the word Alcoholic at all yet. So I understand where you are coming from. But I can tell you this some of those people are the closest people I have to me today. And it opened up a whole new world for me that taught me more than just how not to drink but as I say when I am asked to be the Speaker at a meeting this program is a way to relearn to live. Now I live my life and although I am constantly aware that I have one more drink in me and that I must be careful not fall into it's trap, with the principles this program taught me and my life with the Lord I no longer suffer with the constant desire to drink. God truly did care for me and show me the way when I was sent to those rooms and I was able to do with the help of others what I could not do for myself. And that was more than just putting down the drink. It was learning how to live period.
In Christ
Debi

 

[oldrooster]

I have been sober now for 5 1/2 years thanks only to the grace of our lord Jesus Christ, AA was instumental in keeping me sober for the first while, then I found a great addiction support group at my church. I have never been so happy in all of my life. love, Dave

 

[Jamie70]

Have you tried eating raw carrots? When you feel like a drink, peel a carrot and eat it.

 

[Destiny78]

i cant do it...so much for staying sober..it's usless..i will regret typing this in the morning. I am drunk right now so I dont care..but you all can quit wasting your time here on me..it's useless. thanks anyhow

 

[oldrooster]

Destiny, it is never useless, when the time is right you will decide. Only you can make that decision.

 

[Starcrystal]

You just better come back in the morning Because we're not giving up on you ~ God isn't giving up on you, and if you read my other post on "I'm Sorry" that you started, I went through the same thing. Don't give up, we're still praying for you, and God is able to give you a future and a hope!