Alcoholics and Addicts Discussion/Support Thread

[SOTK]

I am struggling with my belief at the moment. Im asking for help and support. It feels like hes jus gone away. I will keep trying. Please pray for me to find hime again.

You got it, sister!

Why do you think you are struggling with your belief at present? I've read a few of your posts so I know you've had some terrible things happen to you. Do you feel God is somehow at fault or responsible? Or, are there other reasons?

 

[MelWright]

You got it, sister!

Why do you think you are struggling with your belief at present? I've read a few of your posts so I know you've had some terrible things happen to you. Do you feel God is somehow at fault or responsible? Or, are there other reasons?

Thank you

I think its just Im finding it hard to understand how he can let stuff like that happen. I know its free will, im just trying to get my head around it though.

Im asking for his help and feel like im getting no answer, like hes gone away for a while.

Thats why I think im struggling, Ive just got to find him again.
mel

 

[LoG]

Thank you

Im asking for his help and feel like im getting no answer, like hes gone away for a while.

Thats why I think im struggling, Ive just got to find him again.
mel

Naw, He hasn't gone away. He is here. Shame and guilt causes us to block ourselves from Him so that we can no longer sense His presence. When that happens He tends to use other people to relay the message of what we need to do to open up the lines of communication again.

If you are having trouble staying clean and sober, then get yourself over to some AA/NA meetings. There is strength in numbers and the people there have experience in staying clean and sober a day at a time. Through those meetings God has healed many people of the problems they had before. Through the Steps they have there, you will learn how to deal with the wreakage of the past in a way that will give you peace and the need to use drugs or alcohol to forget will no longer be necessary or even desired.

In those rooms you will find people just like yourself who have been down the same path and have had similar experiences and learned to deal with them. If your age gives you hesitation, don't let it. I am currently helping a young man of 20 who was on a fastrack to death or long term jail because of his drinking and he is not the only one around that age who came to realize that if he stayed on the road they were on, life was going to be short or full of trouble.

Attempting to overcome our challenges alone is very difficult if not impossible. Humbeling ourselves to seek out help is where the answer lies in most cases. There is the path of 12 Step meetings or seeking out pastors, church etc. if you are comfortable with that, or a combination of the two. Either way I believe God has answered you but it now comes down to what you are willing to do about it.

"I put before you Life and Death, choose Life"
Duet 30:19

 

[MelWright]

What happened Saturday night has scared the life out of me. I posted it before. I was a complete different person, and it has really scared me. As ive said, Im not majorly bad so im hoping that the experience of saturday night will kick me into changing!

 

[LoG]

What happened Saturday night has scared the life out of me. I posted it before. I was a complete different person, and it has really scared me. As ive said, Im not majorly bad so im hoping that the experience of saturday night will kick me into changing!

Change through taking on a different mindset? I attempted to stop or slow down my drinking for a long time based on my own willpower, Never succeeded. Had a few times where things would go better or I seemed to have some control but invariably relapsed when some difficulty came along I was not able to deal with emotionally.
Addictions are powerful things. They can overpower our best intentions even when there is a lot of motivation. I hope and pray you will have success trying to do it yourself but are you willing to get help if you find your current resolve isn't sufficient?

 

[MelWright]

I will. I never want to end up like saturday night ever again. I have a good group of friends around me, if they even make a comment about me drinking too much I will get help. There, ive said it on here now, my own words. I will give it this go and if not get help.

I know for some people the only way to get better is to stop drinking altogether. Im hoping i havnt reached that stage.

mel

 

[BigToe]

I think a lot of people that worry they need to get better at all have already reached that stage. Just keep an honest eye open to your behaviors. For those with the addiction, one drink is too many and 100 is too few.

 

[MelWright]

Maybe you're right, I don't know. I will give myself one chance. My friends are a great group of people, if I ask for there help they will definately tell me if I am drinking too much even if im telling myself I am ok. I went out tonight, had 2 drinks all night. Could of had a lot more but i stuck to coke. Maybe a start. Just have to carry it on.

mel

 

[BigToe]

Hey and maybe you're right. I hope you are.

As long as you're looking out for yourself and willing to make changes as the need arises, I'd say you're at least on the right foot.

 

[LoG]

So what about dealing with the trauma you have experienced?

 

[MelWright]

How do you deal with it? Im talking to people, trying to get past my fear. Im scared every time I leave my house! Im talking though, not keeping it inside me anymore. Hopefully on the way to dealing with whats happened and moving on.

 

[SOTK]

Thank you

I think its just Im finding it hard to understand how he can let stuff like that happen. I know its free will, im just trying to get my head around it though.

Im asking for his help and feel like im getting no answer, like hes gone away for a while.

Thats why I think im struggling, Ive just got to find him again.
mel

I can understand you asking yourself that question. A lot of people, and good Christians too, often wonder why bad things happen to good people. I have wondered that myself. I can say that I've learned that God is sovereign. I don't believe that God is the author of evil nor do I believe that He arbitrarily allows evil to occur. God is good. He is also righteous and just.

It's hard to say why something bad occurs to somebody. All I can say is that evil is resonsible for evil, and the last thing we should do is blame God and shut down to Him. In the midst of travesty and pain, God is there.

I'll be thinking of you and praying for you.

In Christ,

SOTK

 

[SOTK]

Maybe you're right, I don't know. I will give myself one chance. My friends are a great group of people, if I ask for there help they will definately tell me if I am drinking too much even if im telling myself I am ok. I went out tonight, had 2 drinks all night. Could of had a lot more but i stuck to coke. Maybe a start. Just have to carry it on.

mel

It's quite possible that you are not a drunkard. If I may be so bold, it does sound like you are at the very least drinking for the wrong reasons. Think of it as idolatry. For example, I don't drink anymore, but at times, I don't rest in God and relapse back into my flesh over something. When I am back in my flesh, I am not with God. This sometimes occurs when I am focused on something worldly like stress over my job or something. Instead of going to the Lord, I may buy things I don't need or overeat. Instead of going to the Lord with my problems, I entertain fleshly desires. That's wrong and can create even worse damage.

My point is that even if you are not a drunkard, you are not giving God your all. You are going to the bottle instead of going to Him. This will certainly cause you nothing more than more grief AND can eventually lead you down the road to a complete drunkard.

Also, I believe (most of the time) that we all know when we are engaging in an activity which is harmful and/or not right. The fact that you are concerned and that you are posting here should show you that you need to re-evaluate exactly why you are drinking. You shouldn't need your friends to tell you whether or not you are drinking too much or whether or not you are drinking for the wrong reasons. You already know whether or not you are doing these things.

 

[SOTK]

How do you deal with it? Im talking to people, trying to get past my fear. Im scared every time I leave my house! Im talking though, not keeping it inside me anymore. Hopefully on the way to dealing with whats happened and moving on.

Well, I've never experienced what you have experienced, but I have many friends who are survivors of this type of atrocity. I can tell you what they did. Two of my friends attended a Survivors Group and went through counseling. I know that it took them a while to get to a place where they were happy again. I'm positive that what occured to them will never quite be forgotten, however, they both have stated that through counseling and prayer, they are even better than they were before. Both feel that God took away their pain, and as odd as it is to say, both feel that God is using them to reach out to others, such as yourself, who have experienced this type of horrible act.

 

[LoG]

How do you deal with it? Im talking to people, trying to get past my fear. Im scared every time I leave my house! Im talking though, not keeping it inside me anymore. Hopefully on the way to dealing with whats happened and moving on.

Deal with it through the Steps. They work for a lot more then just alcoholics.

It's been my experience that trying to talk out issues is of limited value. After a while the rehashing of events depresses me because I am reliving the the scenerio from the same perspective again and again.

The pattern set out in the bible and expanded on by the 12 Steps, tells us how to put these events in a light that allows us to get over it and move on. That path is by taking responsibility for the part we played in the event. As long as I only focus on what the other person did, I stay stuck in the "victim" role with its blame game. It's a rare thing when we have not got some resposibility in how something played out.

By admitting our part and turning away from those things, we can stop fearing that these types of events will happen to us again. By acknowleding the part we played and giving it to God we find the forgiveness we are looking for. We come to realize that God didn't abandon us but did allow us to reap the "rewards" of our lifestyles so that we could learn from them.

Neither do we take responsibilty for the other person's deal. This world has a lot of sick people in it who also need to take responsibility for their actions. That however is something we need to leave up to God to deal with. We can only deal with what is on our plate. Once we get honest with ourselves it sometimes means we have some hard decisions to make, ie leaving someone who is not good for me. I have had to do that myself and it was not easy but in the end it saved my peace of mind and sanity.

There is lots of info out there on doing an inventory of oneself as per the 12 Steps. This one here is one that I think is good but there is lots more: http://www.believershope.com/personal_inventory_suggestions.htm

 

[MelWright]

I honestly dont understand this world, its evil. How can people do such horrible things? I cant understand it. I couldnt hurt a fly yet people seen determined to hurt me. Hurt me a lot.

I dont want to go to the bottle instead of God but its so hard. Im asking for help all the time. Ive been crying a lot the last couple of days, just a bad few days and I feel so alone. Where is he? I need him to help me. I cant do it alone.

I cant deal with counceling, its too hard to talk to a real person. Its so much easier writing it.

I think you may be right about the alcohol, i was good until tonight. Then i had a fight with my mum. She hit me and said I never deserve kids. That is the worst possible thing she could of said. I was so so upset after what ive been through, how could she say that?, and turned back to vodka. And cocaine, thats another thing i used to do and i was so so tempted to go back tonight.

 

[lavenderskies]

I advise you to seek help. If you are being physically abused you need to remove yourself from that situation. There are places you can go for help.

When you are tempted to turn to alcohol and drugs, turn to God instead. When you go to pick up a bottle of alcohol, hit your knees, right there, and pray, scream, cry out to God. He hears you sister. He loves you.

 

[MelWright]

I went away this week, a christian holiday. Had an amazing time and I think I felt God's presence, im not sure but I hope I did. I was good in terms of alcohol, only a few social drinks spread over the whole week. I had a fantastic time with my friends. Wish I could stay there forever in that safe place were no1 would hurt you. It was an amazing feeling after being constantly scared.

mel

 

[MelWright]

Im more awake than last night so thought id write a better post. Plus I had a major headache and was crying with pain.

I had an amazing week away with my friends, time away from my mum was just what I needed. When im at home I am under constant pressure and it makes everything so much harder. I felt happy for the first time in years, id forgotton what it felt like to be happy.

I went to a sex seminar while i was there. They talked about abuse and how that with the right help there IS a way to recover and move on from what happend. Its convinced me to seek help. Im by no means recovered but i can see a light at the end of the tunnel which is a good start.

mel

 

[LoG]

Good to hear Mel. I pray you find what you're looking for.