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Akward Question...naughty pictures
- Thread starter neveragainindarkness
- Start date
And thank you to everyone who has helped so much. I guess I shoudl just wait until he is ready to talk about it. Maybe say that he needs to tell me what I did wrong so that I can be able to fix it.
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Perhaps he thought of them more in the context of porn or lust than of love? Perhaps he reacted in a way that embarassed him at work? Many men like to think of the intimacy they have with their wife as very private and special.
Whatever the reason it didn't work the way you intended. So the question now is less what went wrong than how do you reach reconcilliation and repair the damage. (unintentional or not there was damage to you both and to your relationship). If this were the same day I'd say go sit beside him, tell him you did not mean to upset or offend but to share your love for him, ask if you can pray together about this and then let him respond and listen with your heart while he prays even if you don't like what he says to God.
Since some time has probably passed by the time you read this if things are not OK between you by now reach out to him and tell him you love him and didn't mean to hurt and upset him and ask him to pray with you.
Whatever the reason it didn't work the way you intended. So the question now is less what went wrong than how do you reach reconcilliation and repair the damage. (unintentional or not there was damage to you both and to your relationship). If this were the same day I'd say go sit beside him, tell him you did not mean to upset or offend but to share your love for him, ask if you can pray together about this and then let him respond and listen with your heart while he prays even if you don't like what he says to God.
Since some time has probably passed by the time you read this if things are not OK between you by now reach out to him and tell him you love him and didn't mean to hurt and upset him and ask him to pray with you.
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E-beth
Senior Contributor
- Feb 6, 2002
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OK...I merged the thread from Sexuality and Christianity into here. It's a bit jumbled but at least it is all in one place and the topic can be explored from a Christian only standpoint.
Carry on
Carry on
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I don't really think you did anything wrong, and I think he reacted in an embarrassed way probably unnecessarily. I can see what some are saying about him thinking it demeans your relationship. I guess it just depends on the individuals.
Anyway, one of the posts made me think that maybe he would appreciate it if you started your conversation out by saying "thank you". It always kinda takes the edge off anyway. Good luck.
Anyway, one of the posts made me think that maybe he would appreciate it if you started your conversation out by saying "thank you". It always kinda takes the edge off anyway. Good luck.
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I don't think you did anything wrong. Maybe you should have put the pictures in an envelop and marked it "Open in Private."
Maybe the chance of someone having been there when he opened his lunch is what upset him.
Go with swimsuit pictures next time!
Maybe the chance of someone having been there when he opened his lunch is what upset him.
Go with swimsuit pictures next time!
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DaveKerwin
Represent the Most High
I think it is a problem he will not talk to you about it, what is the deal with that????????
But like 49erfan said, if there is a next time, maybe put a swimsuit pic, and add a note to it that says something sweet. But obviously do not do this unless you actually talk with your husband. Get off the computer and talk to him about it.
But like 49erfan said, if there is a next time, maybe put a swimsuit pic, and add a note to it that says something sweet. But obviously do not do this unless you actually talk with your husband. Get off the computer and talk to him about it.
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Risen Tree
previously Rising Tree
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neveragainindarkness said:
I thought so.
In your marriage, he's the solid-and-steady helpmate, and you're the kick-back-and-enjoy-life playmate, right?
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IslandBreeze
Caribbean Queen
Rising Tree said:I thought so.
That's the way my husband and I are, too, but he would be in HEAVEN if I took naughty pictures and gave them to him...different strokes for different folks, I guess...
Neveragain--definitely talk to your husband. Have you ever done anything like this before? Maybe he really did like it; he just wasn't sure how to feel about it...some men believe it's one thing for OTHER women to pose for pictures, but not their wives...perhaps your husband may have some of those feelings...
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Sexy naked pictures (as you already know) are called pornography. To see his wife in a sexy pose on a photo can be like him veiwing his wife in a porn picture. He probably relates that to dirty magazines. I agree, the chance of someone elce seeing them would be extremely embarassing.
Sorry, when I posted this I missed reading some of the other pages. I jumped from page one then posted.
Sorry, when I posted this I missed reading some of the other pages. I jumped from page one then posted.
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IslandBreeze
Caribbean Queen
I don't think you can equate sharing naked pictures of your spouse with pornography. It's not even close to being the same thing.
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Cammie, Sexual naked pictures regaurdless to who they are intended for are pornography. Pornography means literature, films etc., intended to stimulate erotic feelings. When I said maybe he relates them to pornography I ment the kind you can buy. Not the his wife would ever do that, but they both are pornography. I did not know that this was something that they were already doing among themselves, because I skipped some pages of posts by accident. What is in the bedroom should stay there.
Relate and equate are not the same thing. Equate means equal or regaurds as the same thing. I don't think someone would equate (regaurd as the same thing) that to pornography that people buy. Relate means to establish a connection between. There is a connection between them, they are both pornography. . If this, which I thought it was, was something that has not happened before then in my mind I would see that It is pornography and it would make me think about the pornography that is sold and that it is wrong and bad. That was all I ment. I have misused the word relate. The proper word should have been remind. Sorry everyone.
Relate and equate are not the same thing. Equate means equal or regaurds as the same thing. I don't think someone would equate (regaurd as the same thing) that to pornography that people buy. Relate means to establish a connection between. There is a connection between them, they are both pornography. . If this, which I thought it was, was something that has not happened before then in my mind I would see that It is pornography and it would make me think about the pornography that is sold and that it is wrong and bad. That was all I ment. I have misused the word relate. The proper word should have been remind. Sorry everyone.
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HeatherJay
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He was probably embarrassed for a number of reasons.
1. Anyone could have seen them...and, in seeing them, not only make a judgement against you, but about him as well. A wife's behavior is judged against her husband by some.
2. Maybe he DID 'like' them (you know, LIKE them) and someone noticed his reaction. How embarrassing for him! So embarrassing that he just might not feel like reliving it by telling you all about it.
3. If it's something completely out of the norm for you, then maybe he's concerned that he doesn't know you as well as he thought he did.
There are a million reasons. IMHO, it all comes down to this. No matter what the Biblical stance is on the subject, if your man is not comfortable with it, don't do it. Apologize and explain your intentions and I'm sure he'll get over it eventually. I hope you guys work through it.
Love, Heather
1. Anyone could have seen them...and, in seeing them, not only make a judgement against you, but about him as well. A wife's behavior is judged against her husband by some.
2. Maybe he DID 'like' them (you know, LIKE them) and someone noticed his reaction. How embarrassing for him! So embarrassing that he just might not feel like reliving it by telling you all about it.
3. If it's something completely out of the norm for you, then maybe he's concerned that he doesn't know you as well as he thought he did.
There are a million reasons. IMHO, it all comes down to this. No matter what the Biblical stance is on the subject, if your man is not comfortable with it, don't do it. Apologize and explain your intentions and I'm sure he'll get over it eventually. I hope you guys work through it.
Love, Heather
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Risen Tree
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