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HolyOne87

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What is everyone's views on the age question..like do you feel certain people at a certain age shouldn't date over a certain age?
For example, I will use me. I am 19. Do you feel that someone my age shouldnt date someone over..lets say..the age of 25? Or does it not matter the age of the other person...just the love matters.
I am just curious what peoples views are on this. I dont know if this age question was posted before and if it was, I apologize.
Hopefully my question was clear.
 

peanutbutter12

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I agree that huge age gaps can get a little akward and also create uneasiness with friends and family, but it's more about the people I suppose. I'm 24, my wife just turned 20, so a 4 1/2 year age gap. Yet her family had no issues. They wanted to get to know me as a person.

CJ
 
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The Princess Bride

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HolyOne87 said:
What is everyone's views on the age question..like do you feel certain people at a certain age shouldn't date over a certain age?
For example, I will use me. I am 19. Do you feel that someone my age shouldnt date someone over..lets say..the age of 25? Or does it not matter the age of the other person...just the love matters.
I am just curious what peoples views are on this. I dont know if this age question was posted before and if it was, I apologize.
Hopefully my question was clear.
ROFL! It is funny you use those two ages, because I am 19, and my BF will be 25 next month!

I find in our case that having that wide of an age gap (which isnt too wide really) is good.

I know this doesnt sound very nice, but *most* of the guys I know under about 22 aren't very mature at all, and while they may be great friends, I want someone who is mature to date.

Having 5 1/2 yrs between my and my BF has proven to be perfect, because we are close enough in maturity levels that we can communicate reasonably and clearly and handle things properly when conflict arises.
 
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HolyOne87

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The Princess Bride said:
ROFL! It is funny you use those two ages, because I am 19, and my BF will be 25 next month!

I find in our case that having that wide of an age gap (which isnt too wide really) is good.

I know this doesnt sound very nice, but *most* of the guys I know under about 22 aren't very mature at all, and while they may be great friends, I want someone who is mature to date.

Having 5 1/2 yrs between my and my BF has proven to be perfect, because we are close enough in maturity levels that we can communicate reasonably and clearly and handle things properly when conflict arises.

yeah, some of the guys I know under that age(22) aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. They are pretty immature.

For me, age isn't really an issue. If I am destined to be with someone, then so be it. I will not try and mess with God's will, that's for sure.
 
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charligirl

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My husband is 12.5 years older than me and neither us, our friends or family has ever had any issue with it. I have friends who have a 20 year gap, but you know it's right for them - as long as you are happy and God is happy with it then it's noone elses business.
 
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f U z ! o N

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The Princess Bride said:
ROFL! It is funny you use those two ages, because I am 19, and my BF will be 25 next month!

I find in our case that having that wide of an age gap (which isnt too wide really) is good.

I know this doesnt sound very nice, but *most* of the guys I know under about 22 aren't very mature at all, and while they may be great friends, I want someone who is mature to date.

Having 5 1/2 yrs between my and my BF has proven to be perfect, because we are close enough in maturity levels that we can communicate reasonably and clearly and handle things properly when conflict arises.
what do you mean by they aren't mature?
 
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chocolateloverjen

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HolyOne87 said:
What is everyone's views on the age question..like do you feel certain people at a certain age shouldn't date over a certain age?
For example, I will use me. I am 19. Do you feel that someone my age shouldnt date someone over..lets say..the age of 25? Or does it not matter the age of the other person...just the love matters.
I am just curious what peoples views are on this. I dont know if this age question was posted before and if it was, I apologize.
Hopefully my question was clear.

because my dad is 63 and my mum is 41 this year, that like a 22 years gap. They dont get on well or anything and i think they are going for a divorce now. So im personally set against big age gaps. I dont mind other people but i wouldnt go in a relationship like that.
 
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The Princess Bride

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f U z ! o N said:
what do you mean by they aren't mature?
My definition of Immature which can be any combination or all of the following:

1)Someone who doesnt maintain a job (gets fired for careless stuff or goofing off)
2)Does have future goals/game plan
3)Doesnt present themself as being responsible and able to handle tasks seriously
4) Doesnt differentiate the difference in circumstances for when to no be serious and when to be serious.

And from a spiritual aspect:
5) Lacking in their commitment/relationship with Christ
6) Backslidden


Webster's definition:
Main Entry: im·ma·ture
Pronunciation: "i-m&-'tur, -'tyur, -'chur
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin immaturus, from in- + maturus mature
1 archaic : [SIZE=-1]PREMATURE[/SIZE]
2 a : lacking complete growth, differentiation, or development <a thin immature soil> b : having the potential capacity to attain a definitive form or state : [SIZE=-1]CRUDE[/SIZE], [SIZE=-1]UNFINISHED[/SIZE] <a vigorous but immature school of art> c : exhibiting less than an expected degree of maturity <emotionally immature adults>
- immature noun
- im·ma·ture·ly adverb
- im·ma·tu·ri·ty /-'tur-&-tE, -'tyur-, -'chur-/ noun


And here is it's cousin, the definition of "Mature"

Main Entry: 1ma·ture
Pronunciation: m&-'tur, -'tyur also -'chur
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): ma·tur·er; -est
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin maturus ripe; akin to Latin mane in the morning, manus good
1 : based on slow careful consideration <a mature judgment>
2 a (1) : having completed natural growth and development : [SIZE=-1]RIPE[/SIZE] (2) : having undergone maturation b : having attained a final or desired state <mature wine> c : having achieved a low but stable growth rate <paper is a mature industry>
3 a : of or relating to a condition of full development b : characteristic of or suitable to a mature individual <mature outlook>
4 : due for payment <a mature loan>
5 : belonging to the middle portion of a cycle of erosion
- ma·ture·ly adverb
 
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Tegger

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I'm 19 and my bf is 31 and we've been together for a year now. I don't really see a problem with it as long as you're 18+, you're mature enough, etc., etc. Neither of us were looking for someone older/younger, let alone a relationship, it just sort of happened.

Btw, how old is your husband Oblivious?
 
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In Thailand it's quite common for women to marry men substantially older than them. Some marriages have as much as 20 years difference in them. These marriages have about the same success rate as any other. I think it depends lots on the culture. My fiancee is 9 years younger than me. In our culture its generally frowned upon to have too much age difference but in other cultures it's no big deal.
 
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Rin4Christ

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For genneral advice, I recomend finding someone within 5 years, and setig a general boundry of 10 year age diffrence. That being said, thoes are certainly not unbreakable boundries. My boyfriend is 13 years older than me (he just turned 37, I'm about to turn 24). As was mentioned above, neither of us were looking for a boyfriend or girldfriend, certainly not one with that big an age diffrence, but it happened, and its working out. We are both students, he is finishing a masters and I am about to start my PhD. we relate to each other and share similar intrests (we initially introduced ourselves in sign language at a deaf social). We run into a few problems of diffrent experiences, but nothing we can't work through.

People tend to be quick to judge relationships that have unusual age diffrences, but there are much more important things in relationships like shared faith.
 
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superfly

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my girlfriend and i are 8 years apart... it seems to fit us nicely... she's very mature for her age, i like acting younger than i am :-D

but in all seriousness, i appreciate her maturity, and she appreciates my maturity... i do think that (in general, and this includes me) guys younger than about 22/23 are rather immature...
 
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HolyOne87

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yeah, I personally dont see a problem with an age gap(big or small). I feel the only thing that might be important is the love btwn. the two people(and I don't mean sex, I mean real true love). If they have real true love and they were meant to be, then I'd say "That's Great".
I am really appreciating the responses. My friend and I are currently undergoing this problem as to, "If we date a guy, how much older would we go" question.
 
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