Age in Relationships

[Jetgirl]

A minor however CANNOT legally speak for herself, meaning it's up to her parents get to decide what is appropriate and they have the legal clout to press charges.

Which is how a marine I knew ended up sitting in the brig for two weeks over a girl six months younger than him. Her parents squeeked in there right at the end, she was going to turn 18 in three days.

A little ridiculous, but it happens.

 

[Chrono Traveler]

Which is how a marine I knew ended up sitting in the brig for two weeks over a girl six months younger than him. Her parents squeeked in there right at the end, she was going to turn 18 in three days.

A little ridiculous, but it happens.

Wow, thats insane...6 months? So he was 18 and she was 17? You know thats pretty much completely legal in all states, even with sex, if that was the case. In fact in some states its legal for someone as young as 16 to consent to some as old as 20-24..

I must say, Im kinda in this situation myself, I love someone 3 years younger than me. But Im waiting a year or 2 until shes of age before I make any huge commitment. I know I will, soon, but I want to make sure if someone better comes along for her within this time, she can have them. I only desire to see her happy.

Her parents know of me and dont seem to mind ay all.

 

[Charlie V]

they'll never be the same age, unless there is no age when you are dead

watch this, i am going to be completly wrong...oh well

It was a joke, really--and I sort of gave the answer before I told the joke.

They'll never be the same age, but they'll be statistically closer and closer, percentage-wise in age.

Charlie

 

[Jetgirl]

Wow, thats insane...6 months? So he was 18 and she was 17? You know thats pretty much completely legal in all states, even with sex, if that was the case. In fact in some states its legal for someone as young as 16 to consent to some as old as 20-24...

Military laws are a little different. I don't know the specifics for this one though.

I do know however, that there are rarely enforced laws on the books for military that make it a crime to have sex in anything but missonary and call for dishonorable discharge as a punishment for adultury.

*shrug* If anyone can correct me, go for it!

 

[Archivist]

Which is how a marine I knew ended up sitting in the brig for two weeks over a girl six months younger than him. Her parents squeeked in there right at the end, she was going to turn 18 in three days.

A little ridiculous, but it happens.

If I had been that 17 year 362 day old girl I would have had some interesting comments for my parents, all of which are unprintable here.

 

[xtxArchxAngelxtx]

If someone is still living at home with parents, then their parents are still their authority.

 

[xtxArchxAngelxtx]

I believe that one is not old/mature enough to date until one realizes that you will never really be old/mature enough to date.

Once that seeps in, one needs to evaluate SPIRITUAL maturity, spiritual goals, spiritual balance in being yoked, and spiritual gender roles.

If one is "strong" in the Lord, embeded into Gods word and pray and tracking with God and His will, allow this man (cause the MAN is to PURSUE the WOMAN, not the other way around), to find himself a Virtueous women. A woman who is worthy to be praised and fits the description of Probverbs 31. If you think you are old enough to do that, then by all means date.

Keep in mindf what the purpose of dating is: Preparation for marrage. If this boyfriend of yours is still living at home with his parents without making any progress as to finding a job to support you, then thats a huge red flag.

 

[k]

I believe that one is not old/mature enough to date until one realizes that you will never really be old/mature enough to date.

Once that seeps in, one needs to evaluate SPIRITUAL maturity, spiritual goals, spiritual balance in being yoked, and spiritual gender roles.

If one is "strong" in the Lord, embeded into Gods word and pray and tracking with God and His will, allow this man (cause the MAN is to PURSUE the WOMAN, not the other way around), to find himself a Virtueous women. A woman who is worthy to be praised and fits the description of Probverbs 31. If you think you are old enough to do that, then by all means date.

Keep in mindf what the purpose of dating is: Preparation for marrage. If this boyfriend of yours is still living at home with his parents without making any progress as to finding a job to support you, then thats a huge red flag.

I must have woken up to a different century. I thought women were not only allowed to pursue men, but that is their right as children of God. My fiancee pursued me, and now we are getting married June 25th of next year. It is crystal to both of us we found each other in, through, and by God. Christ is the center of our relationship, and that may go for people of all ages.

 

[Archivist]

I must have woken up to a different century. I thought women were not only allowed to pursue men, but that is their right as children of God. My fiancee pursued me, and now we are getting married June 25th of next year. It is crystal to both of us we found each other in, through, and by God. Christ is the center of our relationship, and that may go for people of all ages.

 

[Archivist]

If someone is still living at home with parents, then their parents are still their authority.

Technically you might be correct, however I always recall something that was said by one of our local judges many years ago: "No man is ever so wrong as when he is merely technically right."

 

[jesusfreak3786]

I fell in love with my ex-husband when I was 15 and he was 19, wierd hu? Well anyways my dad wasn't in the picture at the time, and mom saw he liked me, so she gave him permision to ask me out. At 16, and 20 we got married, I had two kids by the time I was 18 years old, then broke up completly when I was barely 19. It sounds awful, and let me tell you it wasn't fun at times, but I truely love him, and I will always love him. I know we aren't compatable as husband and wife, but we are still close friends, I just got done playing a game of chess with him about an hour ago. I was certianly capable at the age of 15 to have a lasting love for a partner, but we didn't realize that once all the responsibility of life smacked us in the face that we wouldn't be able to work together as a team. I also fell in love with a 32 year old when I was 19, it's been a while since then, and I still think about him every day.(We couldn't so much as even hold hands because he was married,(and we didn't) you can't choose who you fall in love with.) My point is that you have the capability at a young age to fall in true love with a partner, but it is very improtant that you wait to see how you guys handle heavy stress together. Get 5 puppys, and be room mates, that should do it. Ha Ha just jokeing. Anyways just be careful, AND DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM!!!!!!
You guys should be fine if you take it slow, maybe the relationship won't work out, but then you could still be friends.

 

[Chrono Traveler]

I fell in love with my ex-husband when I was 15 and he was 19, wierd hu? Well anyways my dad wasn't in the picture at the time, and mom saw he liked me, so she gave him permision to ask me out. At 16, and 20 we got married, I had two kids by the time I was 18 years old, then broke up completly when I was barely 19. It sounds awful, and let me tell you it wasn't fun at times, but I truely love him, and I will always love him. I know we aren't compatable as husband and wife, but we are still close friends, I just got done playing a game of chess with him about an hour ago. I was certianly capable at the age of 15 to have a lasting love for a partner, but we didn't realize that once all the responsibility of life smacked us in the face that we wouldn't be able to work together as a team. I also fell in love with a 32 year old when I was 19, it's been a while since then, and I still think about him every day.(We couldn't so much as even hold hands because he was married,(and we didn't) you can't choose who you fall in love with.) My point is that you have the capability at a young age to fall in true love with a partner, but it is very improtant that you wait to see how you guys handle heavy stress together. Get 5 puppys, and be room mates, that should do it. Ha Ha just jokeing. Anyways just be careful, AND DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM!!!!!!
You guys should be fine if you take it slow, maybe the relationship won't work out, but then you could still be friends.

I agree with this, I also think it would be stupid not to at least CONSIDER someone as a possible partner, just cause an age difference of a few years, or something of the sort. She needs to be opne to other things tho, but maybe just a little if she truly loves him.

 

[Electric Sceptic]

I fell in love with my ex-husband when I was 15 and he was 19, wierd hu? Well anyways my dad wasn't in the picture at the time, and mom saw he liked me, so she gave him permision to ask me out. At 16, and 20 we got married, I had two kids by the time I was 18 years old, then broke up completly when I was barely 19. It sounds awful, and let me tell you it wasn't fun at times, but I truely love him, and I will always love him. I know we aren't compatable as husband and wife, but we are still close friends, I just got done playing a game of chess with him about an hour ago. I was certianly capable at the age of 15 to have a lasting love for a partner, but we didn't realize that once all the responsibility of life smacked us in the face that we wouldn't be able to work together as a team. I also fell in love with a 32 year old when I was 19, it's been a while since then, and I still think about him every day.(We couldn't so much as even hold hands because he was married,(and we didn't) you can't choose who you fall in love with.) My point is that you have the capability at a young age to fall in true love with a partner, but it is very improtant that you wait to see how you guys handle heavy stress together. Get 5 puppys, and be room mates, that should do it. Ha Ha just jokeing. Anyways just be careful, AND DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM!!!!!!
You guys should be fine if you take it slow, maybe the relationship won't work out, but then you could still be friends.

Good post, with which I agree...except for the bolded, underlined, capitalised bit. I'd say by all means, sleep with him if you want to...and if you're a normal, healthy person, you'll probably want to. So I'd say have fun and be safe.

 

[xtxArchxAngelxtx]

I must have woken up to a different century. I thought women were not only allowed to pursue men, but that is their right as children of God. My fiancee pursued me, and now we are getting married June 25th of next year. It is crystal to both of us we found each other in, through, and by God. Christ is the center of our relationship, and that may go for people of all ages.

I'm not saying God deny peoples relationships if women do the pursuing, but I do think it the mans role, dictated by God, to do the pursuing. Obviously it is not that big of a deal considering your story, but I do take biblical stories over anyone elses i.e. ruth/boaz and Jacob/Rachel and song of solomon. Like I said, it's not a huge deal. I just happen to be rather old skool in some forms of conservative christian living.

 

[xtxArchxAngelxtx]

I fell in love with my ex-husband when I was 15 and he was 19, wierd hu? Well anyways my dad wasn't in the picture at the time, and mom saw he liked me, so she gave him permision to ask me out. At 16, and 20 we got married, I had two kids by the time I was 18 years old, then broke up completly when I was barely 19. It sounds awful, and let me tell you it wasn't fun at times, but I truely love him, and I will always love him. I know we aren't compatable as husband and wife, but we are still close friends, I just got done playing a game of chess with him about an hour ago. I was certianly capable at the age of 15 to have a lasting love for a partner, but we didn't realize that once all the responsibility of life smacked us in the face that we wouldn't be able to work together as a team. I also fell in love with a 32 year old when I was 19, it's been a while since then, and I still think about him every day.(We couldn't so much as even hold hands because he was married,(and we didn't) you can't choose who you fall in love with.) My point is that you have the capability at a young age to fall in true love with a partner, but it is very improtant that you wait to see how you guys handle heavy stress together. Get 5 puppys, and be room mates, that should do it. Ha Ha just jokeing. Anyways just be careful, AND DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM!!!!!!
You guys should be fine if you take it slow, maybe the relationship won't work out, but then you could still be friends.

Just my 2 cents... I understand this is obviously a sensative issue, but I am going to say this anyways.

First off.... God hates divorce. If someone is married and even admits to "truely be in Love," then there is no excuse for a divorce. Sorry... but I don't beleive that is Godly agape love.

Secondly, earlier I stated that if you want to get married one needs to observe the consequences and understand what they are getting themselves into. Love is not naive by any means. I am sure you have wept and mourned over this relationship and that you have suffered the consequences, but I will still say this is a perfect example when others will suffer more for the choices you and your ex spous made: your children.

"you can't choose who you fall in love with"

I disagree whole heartedly. Love is a choice. God chose to love us- if we did not have a choice, then it would be pure control and would not really be love.

"We couldn't so much as even hold hands because he was married"

So you were coveting another womans husband? Does adultry ring a bell?


To everyone who reads this:

Being a student in how people work in relationships, and in christian religion, women in particular are more often seduced to emotional types of "love.'' There is a difference between emotional and spiritual love. Please learn the difference. I for one CANNOT say that this relationship and what was said had very little influence from God...

What gets me is this: "You guys should be fine if you take it slow, maybe the relationship won't work out, but then you could still be friends."

After admiting all that was said, one gives advice on what to do, which is the same path the person who faild originally took.

I ask this question:
Is it really so strange that divorce within the church is higher than the world?

Sad tale...

Peace n Godbless.

 

[pro_odeh]

Hello there. I have a question for all of you. So, I'm fifteen and my boyfriend's nineteen...a lot of people freak out about that. My dad doesn't have the slightest clue I'm going out with anyone, much less a 19 yo...my mother on the other hand knows about it and is fine with it. Both are Christians as am I. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with our relationship, but I'd like to know what everyone here thinks of age differences in relationships.

If you were in another age, than this age diffrence would not have mattered much. But since you are in an age where you develop very fast, 4 years becomes quite a lot.. i know this is a delicat issue, so i wont tell you that its wrong or right. You could be big for your age, or something like that..
But not letting your dad know, i think, sounds strange. I know many kids these days have relations hidden from their parents, but i think if there is something you are doing that you dont want your father to know, you shouldnt be doing it!

Probably someone have allready posted something similar to this, i just didnt have the time to go through all the posts..

Is it really so strange that divorce within the church is higher than the world?

No it's not, because in the world, hardly all that live together are married. If you count in those who live together outside marrage, and then leave each other, you would get a very diffrent answer.. (just a little comment.. )

God bless!

 

[Chrono Traveler]

Just my 2 cents... I understand this is obviously a sensative issue, but I am going to say this anyways.

First off.... God hates divorce. If someone is married and even admits to "truely be in Love," then there is no excuse for a divorce. Sorry... but I don't beleive that is Godly agape love.

Secondly, earlier I stated that if you want to get married one needs to observe the consequences and understand what they are getting themselves into. Love is not naive by any means. I am sure you have wept and mourned over this relationship and that you have suffered the consequences, but I will still say this is a perfect example when others will suffer more for the choices you and your ex spous made: your children.

"you can't choose who you fall in love with"

I disagree whole heartedly. Love is a choice. God chose to love us- if we did not have a choice, then it would be pure control and would not really be love.

"We couldn't so much as even hold hands because he was married"

So you were coveting another womans husband? Does adultry ring a bell?


To everyone who reads this:

Being a student in how people work in relationships, and in christian religion, women in particular are more often seduced to emotional types of "love.'' There is a difference between emotional and spiritual love. Please learn the difference. I for one CANNOT say that this relationship and what was said had very little influence from God...

What gets me is this: "You guys should be fine if you take it slow, maybe the relationship won't work out, but then you could still be friends."

After admiting all that was said, one gives advice on what to do, which is the same path the person who faild originally took.

I ask this question:
Is it really so strange that divorce within the church is higher than the world?

Sad tale...

Peace n Godbless.

Love is NOT a choice. The only choice you have with love is the people you hang out with. You choose to walk up to a girl in your class and talk to her, you choose to call her, or hang out outside of school. You do not, however, choose if you fall in love or not. Love isn't just based on getting along, or having the same interests. It's also based on sight, ans smell(and I can't tell you how important this can actually be sometimes) sexual attraction is very very important, no matter what anyone says it's almost as important as emotiaonal attraction. We really have no choice to HOW we are attracted to someone. Sometimes we just are.

 

[k]

I'm not saying God deny peoples relationships if women do the pursuing, but I do think it the mans role, dictated by God, to do the pursuing. Obviously it is not that big of a deal considering your story, but I do take biblical stories over anyone elses i.e. ruth/boaz and Jacob/Rachel and song of solomon. Like I said, it's not a huge deal. I just happen to be rather old skool in some forms of conservative christian living.

To say that it is the "man's role" is to subjugate women into 2nd class citizenship. Personally, I don't care how many times, or how much someone has read the Bible because we must always do our best to be open to the leading/guiding of the Holy Spirit. God is referred as a "He" in the Bible because of Patriarchy. If Matriarchy had been the historical rule then God would have been referred to as a "She." God is neither, and God does not place men over women or women over men because we are all equally undeserving of God's Grace and we are all equally capable of being filled with the Holy Spirit. I am sure there are several "Biblical stories" that may be employed to try and justify patriarchal norms, but humans and societies are always growing and changing. The "Old School" has flunked more people than its passed, so maybe it's time to try some things a bit differently.

Just for an example about women in the Bible (there are several more), read Mark very carefully and pay attention to the women. Not only did the women NEVER make a mistake, but they were also the ones that grabbed hold of Jesus' Message with Fire, and they were also the first ones to discover the Risen Jesus and share the Good News with others.

 

[k]

Love is NOT a choice. The only choice you have with love is the people you hang out with. You choose to walk up to a girl in your class and talk to her, you choose to call her, or hang out outside of school. You do not, however, choose if you fall in love or not. Love isn't just based on getting along, or having the same interests. It's also based on sight, ans smell(and I can't tell you how important this can actually be sometimes) sexual attraction is very very important, no matter what anyone says it's almost as important as emotiaonal attraction. We really have no choice to HOW we are attracted to someone. Sometimes we just are.

I don't think love is completely out of our control, for if it is, then that removes responsibility from our actions 'cause then people would say "I did 'cause I love you." It doesn't seem to be so black and white, there seems to be a balance between choosing who we love and when. I can't tell you how many times I have known people who stayed in horrible relationships only to fall back on "I can't help it, I love him/her."

Sometimes, when people say "I love you" they really mean "I love the way you make me feel."

Oh, and definitely the physical attraction must be there 'cause if it's not, at some point someone will go stray to put that fire out.

 

[Chrono Traveler]

I don't think love is completely out of our control, for if it is, then that removes responsibility from our actions 'cause then people would say "I did 'cause I love you." It doesn't seem to be so black and white, there seems to be a balance between choosing who we love and when. I can't tell you how many times I have known people who stayed in horrible relationships only to fall back on "I can't help it, I love him/her."

Sometimes, when people say "I love you" they really mean "I love the way you make me feel."

Oh, and definitely the physical attraction must be there 'cause if it's not, at some point someone will go stray to put that fire out.

Love isn't out of control, like I said, we choose who we spend our time with, and what we want from our friends. But I still feel, that love, or more bluntly being in love isnt a choice.

I agree, saying you love someone could be in a way "I love the way you make me feel". However, I think that one of the most important things in a relaionship. If you would do anything for eachother to make eachother feel good. Or just feeling good around someone for no reason at all. Thats love to me..