Hello there. I have a question for all of you. So, I'm fifteen and my boyfriend's nineteen...a lot of people freak out about that. My dad doesn't have the slightest clue I'm going out with anyone, much less a 19 yo...my mother on the other hand knows about it and is fine with it. Both are Christians as am I. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with our relationship, but I'd like to know what everyone here thinks of age differences in relationships.
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Age in Relationships
- Thread starter Circles
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I think that age differences are fine so long as the two are compatible, however, in most US states if sex is involved, it is illegal.
I think there are some issues when an older boy/man wants to be with someone so much younger, but if you are emotionally at the same level it should be fine.
Why would you not tell your father?
This indicates the possibility of you thinking something is wrong with it.
Being that you have 2-3 years of high school left I would think it wouldn't be a long term realtionship, but I could easily be wrong.
In Him
I think there are some issues when an older boy/man wants to be with someone so much younger, but if you are emotionally at the same level it should be fine.
Why would you not tell your father?
This indicates the possibility of you thinking something is wrong with it.
Being that you have 2-3 years of high school left I would think it wouldn't be a long term realtionship, but I could easily be wrong.
In Him
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I won't tell my father because I know for a fact he would do everything in his power to keep me and my bf apart and it would completely destroy the peaceful (if distrusting) relationship I have with my dad. He would flat out tell me I couldn't go out with him and then there would be war. I know this from the previous reactions he's had to similiar situations in the lives of my siblings and even my friends. And actually, I don't have any years of high school left...perhaps I should have mentioned we met in college. And as for sex being illegal, that's not even issue as neither of us want pre-marital sex.
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MooTipping
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Nothing's wrong about it...just people seeing it this way...it seems weirder for a 15 to be with a 19 year old because those numbers are low...but think about it...what if you were 20 and he's 24? it doesn't seem weird anymore because your ages are higher (so it looks like it's "closer" together). Kind of like what if a 10 year old marries a 20 year old? it's weird, but what if one is 70 and one is 80? not too bad soudin'. It's weird, but I'm glad you guys are together, no matter what people say. congrats!
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He is too old for you. A 19 year old who has any interest in a 15 year old is either emotionally immature or looking for an easy conquest. That sounds cold, that sounds cruel, but one doesn't spend half a century on the planet without seeing certain sad, sad stories getting played out again and again and again.Circles said:
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I have to agree with this. And I really think there is an issue if your not willing to tell your father. He has wisdom beyond you and I think there will be huge issues in your relationship with him if your not even willing to tell him you have a boyfriend.Buzz Dixon said:
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I agree with what was just said. Age differences become less important as you get older. If he was thirty and you were 26 four years is nothing. Even if he were a senior in college and you were a freshman I would say that four years isn't a big deal. However, I would presume that he's out of high school and you are just in your Sophomore year, so four years is very significant for you.
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traingosorry
I'm what Willis was talkin' bout.
Can I ask you something?
What problems do you think your dad would see in this?
And can you understand it from his side of things?
And if so, is this relationship with this older guy, worth the trouble that it would cause between you and your dad?
Hope it goes well.
What problems do you think your dad would see in this?
And can you understand it from his side of things?
And if so, is this relationship with this older guy, worth the trouble that it would cause between you and your dad?
Hope it goes well.
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Wow I agree with you.Buzz Dixon said:
As Buzz said, there something probably wrong with you bf if he is looking for relationships with a 15 year old. My dad is 10 years older than my mom, but they didn't date until my mom was quite mature, like 25. I'm sure your intelligent & mature for you age but right now 19 is a little old. Your dad would be right to be angry, I saw alot of 15-16 yr old girls get taken advantage of when I was in high school.
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Circles said:
I think the younger you are the more age matters, as you get older post 25 I would say for both male and female, age is not so much of a factor. There can be however significant differences between a 15 and 19 year old as opposed to a 25 and 29 year old. You I assume are a sophmore in high school your boyfriend has already been through high school and moved on. Actually I would hope there to be diffeences becuase it should inidcate maturity in the older person.
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chanis
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I think it is a problem when a 19 yr old is involved with a 15 yr old. you have to consider the maturity and emotional levels in the different ages. As most have stated if you were a lot older than it wouldn't be a big deal but at this point in time you need really evaluate the realtionship. I think it's important that you share this with your dad. Why haven't you done so? what are you scared of?
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Chrono Traveler
Well-Known Member
I really think there is nothing creepy about it.
People seem to think "Oh, hes 19, he MUST be after something else". If her moms ok with it I really see no problem if she knows the guy. But if she says no....then its prolly best not to date him.
Not everyone wants sex, some people actually just want a life partener. I think it's a bit weird how we view relationships.
From what I understand most people view relationships like this.
Form ages 15-17 you cant date anyone 3-4 years older than you, but once you turn 18, no one will even care if you date someone 15 years older than you.
People seem to think "Oh, hes 19, he MUST be after something else". If her moms ok with it I really see no problem if she knows the guy. But if she says no....then its prolly best not to date him.
Not everyone wants sex, some people actually just want a life partener. I think it's a bit weird how we view relationships.
From what I understand most people view relationships like this.
Form ages 15-17 you cant date anyone 3-4 years older than you, but once you turn 18, no one will even care if you date someone 15 years older than you.
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trunks2k
Contributor
You're on the edge there. 15 and 19 seems a bit odd, but I suppose it would depend on the maturity of the people involved. If you were 14, I'd say it's wrong. If it was 16 and 19 I wouldn't really have an issue with it. There's a lot that can happen to a person between age 15 and age 16. As mhatten said, as you get older, age difference matters less. This seems to occur almost exponentially though, i.e. if you're 14 it's a 1 year difference, 15 - 2 years, 16 - 4 years...
Now, is there something wrong with your bf? I would say no. Sure he's doing something that isn't exactly acceptable culturally. But that's a pretty new thing in our culture. 50 years ago I don't think as many people would have an issue with it. Heck, most girls were married by the time they 19 in the 50s.
Now, is there something wrong with your bf? I would say no. Sure he's doing something that isn't exactly acceptable culturally. But that's a pretty new thing in our culture. 50 years ago I don't think as many people would have an issue with it. Heck, most girls were married by the time they 19 in the 50s.
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I agree. Let me add this: You say you're a Christian and as such we have strong Biblical support to honor your parents... Mother AND Father. I believe it even made it into that Top Ten thingy. Your father's disapproval is warranted, you're a child (no disrepect but 15 is in no way, shape or form an adult) and he is parenting. Anyone who says differently doesn't have a daughter!Buzz Dixon said:
Don't sell yourself short. You must seriously ask why a 19 yr old is not dating in his own age group.
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You think I'm 19?!?!? Wanna raise the bet, by any chance? And would you prefer paying me through PayPal or by cashier check?JustJack! said:
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You're dating somebody young enough to be your daughter. I love my daughters(30 and 24), I like (most of) their friends, but even ignoring the fact I'm happily married, none of their friends are mature enough to garner my romantic interest.GMRELIC said:
I find it...remarkable...the two of you have much in common.
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