Age gap

[newyorknewyork]

my husband is 8 yrs older than me...
we are both completely fine with our age gap
he's the youngest child in his family and im the oldest
so that makes it feel like we are closer in age

he's very mothered by his mother
i was abused by my mother - so i became very independant
this also makes us seem closer in age

however... i do agree with.. I think it was Leanna.. who said that big age gaps can mean you are both at different stages in life..

like my husband has travelled the world... i haven't even been oveaseas once
im still in college.. hubby has had many different jobs and worked in many different countries and companies
i haven't had my drivers licence very long and im still getting confident in driving.. whereas hubby has been driving probably more than half my life!! lol

so yeah... it can mean different stages in life thats all..
it just means u have to work around these things

but its these differences that make our lives interesting i think!

 

[Redguard]

my husband is 8 yrs older than me...
we are both completely fine with our age gap
he's the youngest child in his family and im the oldest
so that makes it feel like we are closer in age

he's very mothered by his mother
i was abused by my mother - so i became very independant
this also makes us seem closer in age

however... i do agree with.. I think it was Leanna.. who said that big age gaps can mean you are both at different stages in life..

like my husband has travelled the world... i haven't even been oveaseas once
im still in college.. hubby has had many different jobs and worked in many different countries and companies
i haven't had my drivers licence very long and im still getting confident in driving.. whereas hubby has been driving probably more than half my life!! lol

so yeah... it can mean different stages in life thats all..
it just means u have to work around these things

but its these differences that make our lives interesting i think!

How old are you anyway?

 

[newyorknewyork]

22

 

[luvmyhubby]

My husband is 13 years older than me. We've been married for 13 years. It works for us, but it might not work for everyone. I think it just depends on the individuals.

 

[jacquidube]

I am 41 and my husband is 28. we have been together 5 years. if you look at my photo people say I dont look my age. My husband actually looks older than I do. we have had no problems or no one staring saying.....Gross.

I do see him looking at the younger ones thoguh. But Gods in control. x

 

[4jacks]

As I said before the older you get the bigger the acceptable age gap can get. A 13 year age gap when you are in your mid 20's is a whole lot more acceptable than a 5 year age gap when you are 10, in the fifth grade.

My parents have a 7 year age gap, lots of couple have age gaps, but what makes an age gap "Gross" is when the younger one is just hitting puberty, and the older one just got a discount on their car insurance.

 

[FireOfGod]

I know a couple who recently got married... They're 15 years apart. He knew that he was going to marry her when she was 14, and he waited for her until she was 18! When she was 17 or 18 they both knew, and they're happily married now.

Hey, it happens.

 

[s_gunter]

reopened after cleanup

 

[christalee4]

I am 41 and my husband is 28. we have been together 5 years. if you look at my photo people say I dont look my age. My husband actually looks older than I do. we have had no problems or no one staring saying.....Gross.

I do see him looking at the younger ones thoguh. But Gods in control. x

Most of the age gap responders have been older men, younger women. I think the older woman/younger man relationship is becoming more common, but I think there is still a cultural taboo about it. Does anyone see anything wrong with a 35 year old woman marrying a 25 year old man? The reverse seems to be pretty common and accepted.

The more extreme age differences kind of creep me out. Like 50 or 60-something year old men marrying 20-somethings. I knew one couple in this kind of relationship and he calls her "his baby girl". Ugh.

I think men who like young teens are attracted to the immaturity level, because it makes them feel like they are more in control, respected, and looked up to.

 

[Redguard]

Does anyone see anything wrong with a 35 year old woman marrying a 25 year old man?

I've always been sorta kinda sorta kinda curious about what it would be like to be married/involved with a woman who was 10-15 years older than me. At my age, that would put her in her late 30s - early 40s.

The cultural taboo comes from the "theory" that sexual peaks are maximized for men and women around these ages... men in their 20s, and women in their late 30s.

Is anyone familiar with the term "Cougar" when spoken in reference to an older woman who seeks out babyfaced young men?

 

[Epoh99]

Yeah but... before someone gets married at 18, they likely have to be dating at 17.

In the above case, that means that a 27 yr old was dating a 17 yr old... or that a 26 yr old was dating a 16 yr old.

See where I'm going with this? :o

My husband is 8 years older than I am. I started attending my church college and career class when I was 17 and a sophomore in college (I started college at 16). Everyone assumed I was 19 or 20 since I was a soph. I would do all the group activities and became friends with quite a few of the older guys. Several of them asked me out, but not my husband-he was too shy, and when I told them I was 17 most of them backed off. I remained friends with them all and still did group activities.

A few months after I turned 18 (and had known all these guys for a year) they started asking me out again but it made me uncomfortable because they, except for my husband, had made comments in the past about how they couldn't wait until I was 18. Eventually my husband and I started hanging out, still as friends, with one other guy and girl. Soon it was just me and my husband going out. People would ask if we were dating and we would say no, we were just best friends. Soon we realized we cared about each other as more than friends. We got married when I was 19.

I was always very mature for my age and found guys my age too childish so for the most part have never liked associating with my peers. So, it doesn't have to be an inappropriate situation with an older guy younger girl. However, my situation is kind of different and probably lots, if not most, may be inappropriate.

(I'm not advocating minors dating older adults, large age differences in marriage, etc. I'm just responding to Redguard's musings)

 

[Redguard]

My husband is 8 years older than I am. I started attending my church college and career class when I was 17 and a sophomore in college (I started college at 16). Everyone assumed I was 19 or 20 since I was a soph. I would do all the group activities and became friends with quite a few of the older guys. Several of them asked me out, but not my husband-he was too shy, and when I told them I was 17 most of them backed off. I remained friends with them all and still did group activities.

A few months after I turned 18 (and had known all these guys for a year) they started asking me out again but it made me uncomfortable because they, except for my husband, had made comments in the past about how they couldn't wait until I was 18. Eventually my husband and I started hanging out, still as friends, with one other guy and girl. Soon it was just me and my husband going out. People would ask if we were dating and we would say no, we were just best friends. Soon we realized we cared about each other as more than friends. We got married when I was 19.

I was always very mature for my age and found guys my age too childish so for the most part have never liked associating with my peers. So, it doesn't have to be an inappropriate situation with an older guy younger girl. However, my situation is kind of different and probably lots, if not most, may be inappropriate.

(I'm not advocating minors dating older adults, large age differences in marriage, etc. I'm just responding to Redguard's musings)

Thanks!

 

[Oblivious]

Well, I guess I'll chime in.

My husband is 15 years old than me. I could really give a rat's (well, you know what) what people think.

Personally, it really has nothing to do with sex, sexual "peaks", etc. I ended up falling in love and marrying a great, fun, loving guy who I have alot in common with, who just happens to be older than me.

One shouldn't stereotype/judge why a couple is together, regardless if one is 48 and the other is 32 or if the one is 18 and the other is 30. I know people that are less than a year apart and their relationship's are crap. Don't assume, get the facts first...

My usual $.02....

 

[Oblivious]

I was always very mature for my age and found guys my age too childish so for the most part have never liked associating with my peers. So, it doesn't have to be an inappropriate situation with an older guy younger girl. However, my situation is kind of different and probably lots, if not most, may be inappropriate.

The above is exactly how I was. I didn't know anyone in their twenties who was half as mature as I was. So it wasn't a surprise (at least to me) who I ended up marrying.

BTW - Great post!

 

[christalee4]

Is anyone familiar with the term "Cougar" when spoken in reference to an older woman who seeks out babyfaced young men?

Hmm, never hoid of it.

The only well known one I can mention off the top of my head is the union of actors Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. And then I found these:

Mary Tyler Moore and Dr. Robert Levine. Robert is 18 years younger.
Martha Raye and Mark Harris. He was 33 years younger when they married in 1991. (I think he's a gay guy though).

But mostly the Decembers are the men and the Mays are the women. Probably the most infamous ones were rocker Jerry Lee Lewis who married his 14 year old cousin, and then there is the one between Anna Nicole Smith and billionaire J. Howard Marshall. She was 26 and he was, ulp, 89. Love works in mysterious ways!

 

[revrobor]

I was 37 when I married my wife. She was 20. Last month we celebrated our 36th anniversary.

 

[ChRiStInMyHeArT]

reopened after cleanup

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[andiesmama]

I was 37 when I married my wife. She was 20. Last month we celebrated our 36th anniversary.

awesome!!!

 

[Redguard]

I was 37 when I married my wife. She was 20. Last month we celebrated our 36th anniversary.

Hallelujah!

 

[Linnis]

Around here we have a large university, many of the women mid-30s up go looking for an 18-22 year old male to spend time with. Most woman who do this see it as a way to have sex without any strings attached. Even if the women we're 18-22 I would still find it icky. Those same women will not marry the 18-22 year olds who are "fun" because they need another 30+ to "help pay my bills" the logic of this makes my head hurt.