Afraid of idolatry again

[Love Others]

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[Nicole Roberson]

Hi again, I haven't been here for a while my journey with ocd has been going well mostly, but recently I've been trying to get back into my work as a novelist and I was struck my a thought that paralyzed me. When I was a child I used to spend so much time daydreaming and making up stories. I never thought much of it but yesterday I started thinking that I committed idolatry as a child. My fear is that if that is true then I can no longer use my mind to plan my novels or what not because if I turned it into an idol all those years ago using it again now might get me sent to hell. It feels silly writing it here but I feel condemned by the mere action of planning out how my day will go. But I don't know if I did turn it into an idol as a child, back then I didn't have ocd and wasn't worried about it. Oh, what should I do? Perhaps I should quit writing but I want to use it for God, I keep thinking this must be from God but I don't know, I don't want to go to hell.
I remind myself that people are still allowed to use money if they turned it into an idol, but it isn't working for me, I am still afraid of going to hell. I see a lot of people struggling with stuff like this, does anyone have any advice?

I’m a writer too! I write novels and poetry. It’s a huge part of my life, the gifts God has given me. Let me tell you, I know how you feel. I’ve been in fear about idolatry with my writing and stuff that I like. I’ve been feeling so condemned and afraid about putting these things before God, which is the last thing I want to do. OCD has gone to the extreme with this where I almost thought God wanted me to give up my writing and everything I like, otherwise I’m not really picking up my cross or something? I don’t know why I got that in my head, but ocd drives this stuff...and I’ve just been feeeling so miserable about it worrying about every little thing being wrong or worrying about disappointing God in some way with this or that...just a continuous cycle of bondage.

 

[Mari17]

I’m a writer too! I write novels and poetry. It’s a huge part of my life, the gifts God has given me. Let me tell you, I know how you feel. I’ve been in fear about idolatry with my writing and stuff that I like. I’ve been feeling so condemned and afraid about putting these things before God, which is the last thing I want to do. OCD has gone to the extreme with this where I almost thought God wanted me to give up my writing and everything I like, otherwise I’m not really picking up my cross or something? I don’t know why I got that in my head, but ocd drives this stuff...and I’ve just been feeeling so miserable about it worrying about every little thing being wrong or worrying about disappointing God in some way with this or that...just a continuous cycle of bondage.

I've gotten these kinds of feelings before! OCD likes to latch onto what we most value. Please see my response to your other post for resources about OCD.

 

[Nicole Roberson]

I've gotten these kinds of feelings before! OCD likes to latch onto what we most value. Please see my response to your other post for resources about OCD.

Feel free to message me whenever you want...would love to talk more about this with you, even over a phone call maybe.