Afraid -- may trigger

[kandcmom]

Dear All,

I suffer from Harm OCD and have since the birth of my first daughter 16 years ago. I take Luvox and Ativan as needed for anxiety. Today I read about the woman who killed her infant in a horrific way. She was schizophrenic and had post partum depression which they now think was post partum psychosis (she was delusional). She states "the devil made her do it." My fear is that one day I too will "crack" and lose control and hurt someone. I never want to do this but I fear it to the point of panic attacks. How can I be assured that the thoughts I have are really ocd and not another diagnosis that no one has caught yet. Mental Illness runs in my family. My mother has depression and my aunt had bi polar disorder. I just don't want to hurt anyone and would rather leave my family so that they are safe then risk losing control and cognitive thought processes. As you can tell I'm panicing here and need some support.


thanks for listening.
kathy

 

[dabro]

This will probabley scare you but you may need to try to accept it. As hard as that seems your fear will elevate then slowly start to decrease till soon it becomes background noise. I'm not totally sure that will happen in your case but these fears are typical OCD. When you get the ? in your head, am I going to do that? Is my family safe? questions like these try not to answer by reassurence rather ignore it. And I know how hard it is, try to stay away from the triggers but don't let that be your compulsion. I hope you catch on.