Advice

[tall73]

Just the Pastor.

I think you need to discuss with her whether she feels forgiven by God. Don't bring the church into it. Staying away from worship is staying away from God. And there is a reason for it.

Do you need texts that speak of forgiveness or do you have those at hand?

 

[SDAdude]

I have them. I go through them whenever I start thinking about all the bad stuff I did back in the day.

 

[tall73]

I have them. I go through them whenever I start thinking about all the bad stuff I did back in the day.

Well I like the Yoda quote you have in your signature. Sounds like it applies. I hope she responds well.

 

[JohnMarsten]

I'm SDA. My wife is a baptized SDA but doesn't practice. Today, she told me that I pressure her to practice.

I couldn't understand that. I don't force her to go to church. I don't force her to tithe. I don't force her to keep the Sabbath.

I told her that and asked her how I pressure her. She said she feels pressured when she sees me reading my Bible or watching It Is Written or reading the Spirit of Prophecy.

My question is, what should I do? I'm not going to stop my faith because it bothers my wife. But I don't want to pressure her either because it pushes her away. I'm at a loss on what to do.

Paul says that leaving an unbeliever doesnt seem to be much of a problem...

 

[EastCoastRemnant]

Paul says that leaving an unbeliever doesnt seem to be much of a problem...

That's not what Paul said... please don't flippantly post erroneous advice, especially to someone that is struggling with his marriage.

 

[JohnMarsten]

That's not what Paul said... please don't flippantly post erroneous advice, especially to someone that is struggling with his marriage.

I'm sorry...

I think I was being a little sarcastic when I shouldnt have been... my apologies...

Its sad however if the religious views of a person, the pressure involved cause harm to a relationship... one mans heaven can be another mans hell, I guess...

thing is that IMHO SDAdude shouldNT pressure his wife, I think he should rather fast and pray and leave it all to Jesus... you know, when somebody is forced or pressured, if you will, to do something usually this person will resist... iMHO SDAdude should be the ultimate example to his wife, the most loving husband... and if he manages that he should get back to the topic not sooner... very often people turn hypocrites (not implying that this is the case here as I most certainly dont know the SDAdude), they preach water and drink wine. Maybe the wife doesnt feel the love coming from the husband but just sees a man trying to get her into some worship thing that doesnt make her happy... like Jesus will you give her a stone if she wants bread? But thats just my opinion, no man can save no man... and if that behavior were to destroy their marriage? well, then I think its better to practise in silence... lest it caused her to stumble...

 

[Stryder06]

I'm sorry...

I think I was being a little sarcastic when I shouldnt have been... my apologies...

Its sad however if the religious views of a person, the pressure involved cause harm to a relationship... one mans heaven can be another mans hell, I guess...

thing is that IMHO SDAdude shouldNT pressure his wife, I think he should rather fast and pray and leave it all to Jesus... you know, when somebody is forced or pressured, if you will, to do something usually this person will resist... iMHO SDAdude should be the ultimate example to his wife, the most loving husband... and if he manages that he should get back to the topic not sooner... very often people turn hypocrites (not implying that this is the case here as I most certainly dont know the SDAdude), they preach water and drink wine. Maybe the wife doesnt feel the love coming from the husband but just sees a man trying to get her into some worship thing that doesnt make her happy... like Jesus will you give her a stone if she wants bread? But thats just my opinion, no man can save no man... and if that behavior were to destroy their marriage? well, then I think its better to practise in silence... lest it caused her to stumble...

Do remember however, if I was reading the thread right, that his wife seems to feel "pressured" simply by seeing him live uprightly. If that is indeed the case, she is being unfair. Like you said, his best course of action will be prayer and fasting.

The husband is the priest of his home. It is his duty to ensure that the family is on tract in their walk with God.

 

[JohnMarsten]

Do remember however, if I was reading the thread right, that his wife seems to feel "pressured" simply by seeing him live uprightly. If that is indeed the case, she is being unfair. Like you said, his best course of action will be prayer and fasting.

The husband is the priest of his home. It is his duty to ensure that the family is on tract in their walk with God.

thats true

generally it is impossible to provide advice in this case as we dont know them personally.

If the wife feels pressured by his living the faith then maybe there is something wrong...

Imagine the following scenario:

A child is being neglected, the parents dont spend too much time (no quality time whatsoever) with the child, they are preoccupied with their own problems. On the other hand they find time to read the bible and the SOP, encouraging the child to do the same and even critisizing the child if she or he doesnt live up to their expectations of what a righteous SDA child should be...

Of course this is a made up scenario and I hope that it never be the case, but the thing is if the child is not given the proper love and care by their parents he or she will feel neglected and walking the righteous path of faith maybe very burdensome... as a consequence the child may develop a negative feeling towards the church and worshipping God, and then if the parents dont find the time to 'play' with the child or do some activities but instead spend time reading dead words and imploring the child to do the same, a certain kind of pressure may be felt by the child.

Same thing goes for this wife/husband situation. But like I said it is impossible to provide proper advice here. Only the SDAdude can decide if my advice is suitable for him or not...

 

[Stryder06]

thats true

generally it is impossible to provide advice in this case as we dont know them personally.

If the wife feels pressured by his living the faith then maybe there is something wrong...

Imagine the following scenario:

A child is being neglected, the parents dont spend too much time (no quality time whatsoever) with the child, they are preoccupied with their own problems. On the other hand they find time to read the bible and the SOP, encouraging the child to do the same and even critisizing the child if she or he doesnt live up to their expectations of what a righteous SDA child should be...

Of course this is a made up scenario and I hope that it never be the case, but the thing is if the child is not given the proper love and care by their parents he or she will feel neglected and walking the righteous path of faith maybe very burdensome... as a consequence the child may develop a negative feeling towards the church and worshipping God, and then if the parents dont find the time to 'play' with the child or do some activities but instead spend time reading dead words and imploring the child to do the same, a certain kind of pressure may be felt by the child.

Same thing goes for this wife/husband situation. But like I said it is impossible to provide proper advice here. Only the SDAdude can decide if my advice is suitable for him or not...

Yeah, I'm only going off of what we've been told. I'm not going to make assumptions or provide advice based on supposition. It goes without saying that the husband is to love the wife. From what we've been told, neglect isn't the issue, his dedication to the Lord is. If that indeed is the case, then he must persevere, and pray for his wife. The adversary will seek to divide homes by any means he can, and that fight can only be won through prayer and fasting. He's going to have to be patient too.

 

[JohnMarsten]

Yeah, I'm only going off of what we've been told. I'm not going to make assumptions or provide advice based on supposition. It goes without saying that the husband is to love the wife. From what we've been told, neglect isn't the issue, his dedication to the Lord is. If that indeed is the case, then he must persevere, and pray for his wife. The adversary will seek to divide homes by any means he can, and that fight can only be won through prayer and fasting. He's going to have to be patient too.

Of course! like I said my advice was simply based on some possibility... and assumption... so whoever may benefit from it let him benefit

 

[rainbowinthesky]

"Can two walk together unless they agree?"

 

[Cribstyl]

Some trial comes to make you stronger.
What you sew determines what you reap.

Being faithful to God does not mean that troubles wont come.
It means that God can be with you in the fire.


Most women find a man who is full of faith in God very attractive.