Advice

[SycoMunkeyX]

Im having alot of problems. i feel like sometimes its not worth being a christian becuz ive lost so much and continue losing friends and jus eveything. I need some help

 

[Praising4eva]

How does being a Christian relate to your sense of losing things and friends? Is it because you are a new Christian that you feel you are losing friends because they don't like the change?

 

[SycoMunkeyX]

How does being a Christian relate to your sense of losing things and friends? Is it because you are a new Christian that you feel you are losing friends because they don't like the change?

Ever since i became a christian i have just been losing and losing. Ive grown so much in christ in jus a couple of months being a christian but the losses just seem so great

 

[snoochface]

Ever since i became a christian i have just been losing and losing. Ive grown so much in christ in jus a couple of months being a christian but the losses just seem so great

But what are you losing? Are you losing friends because they don't agree with your Christian views? Maybe they weren't really your friends to begin with. What else are you losing?

Christianity is hard, the Bible makes no qualms about that. There will be persecution because of it, people will hate us because of Christ's name, it's all in the Bible. Are you reading, and staying close to God's word? Have you read the book of Job? You might take some comfort in knowing that sometimes God makes radical changes in our lives, strips away everything we know and love, but he does it all because he has something even better for us down the road.

 

[heron]

There are a lot of ways you can look at loss.

1. Opposition

1Pe 5:8
Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

God gave you the cell phone of Prayer, with unlimited calls and long distance. There is no guilt in asking too much of Him. He assigns angels to guard you in all your ways.

And Jesus gave you authority over unclean spirits, so make a point to chase them away when unusual things start to come against you. It can't hurt. Just tell them out loud -- in Jesus' name, leave for good.

2. Natural changes

Ecclesiastes 3:1

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

You're at an age where grandparents hit their limits, parents spaz out, friends graduate and move away. Sometimes I wonder why full-time college is expected at this time, because there are SO many stressors at once.

This is a common time for your peers to make careless choices. May and June often bring teen accidents and horrible things that end lives.

There are also suicidal friends, unexpected pregnancies, abuses... all sorts of things that we have little control over.

Think of it maybe as God meeting you and helping you along before these natural losses would come about.

Be the light. Be there for people.


3. Offenses
2Co 6:3
...Giving no cause for offense in anything, so that the ministry will not be discredited.I'm not implying this is what's happening, but making it part of a well-rounded list.

Make sure you're not trying to compete with other people. A lot of new Christians are so excited and eager to please God, that they come across strong.

God makes us better, but this didn't happen on our own. Our choices put us in a position where God can help us and give us wisdom... sometimes we look back on that and take these as our own merit.


4. Temporary Loss
Ro 8:28
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
There are also times where it seems offense has driven a friend away, but we might even sense beforehand that it's time... time we stepped back a bit from the relationship and gave them some space, giving ourselves more freedom to explore new things.

It's okay. They'll still remember good times you had together, but will be able to avoid potential conflicts during this drift.

Feel free to talk more about what you're going through. It sounds like something big is going on.


​

 

[malckiah]

Hello friend, i would like to suggest that you read the book of Matthew in The Bible. The disciples go through the same thing and even grumble about it bringing up to The Lord how they have left all and made such huge sacrifices for Him......He says to them that in the end the rewards are far greater than the loss. As Christians we are never promised the good life. Infact we are promised trials and tribulation while here on earth......it is not til you get to heaven that The Good Life starts! Although there are many blessings even here, we should always be excpectant of trials and sacrifices. We are called to pick up our cross and follow Him! I am sorry that you are having to lose so much for Jesus, But i know that He will reward you with far greater!!!

 

[Rage4Christ]

I find it's more useful to deal with concrete issues.

What exactly have you lost and what were the circumstances surrounding it?
Why do you link this loss to your Christianity?

 

[JPPT1974]

Only God has the power to cleanse
Your soul as well as chase away demons
But also you have access through Jesus
As your Savior & Lord.

 

[USNavyBlueAngel]

Im having alot of problems. i feel like sometimes its not worth being a christian becuz ive lost so much and continue losing friends and jus eveything. I need some help

This may be a little long, but PLEASE read through it ~ I truly, truly believe you can find answers or help in these verses from the Bible.

(Credit to the website of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, from whom this was borrowed):

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY TO YOU?
Are you experiencing suffering and persecution?

Do not be silent, O God of my praise.
For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me,
speaking against me with lying tongues.
They beset me with words of hate,
and attack me without cause.
In return for my love they accuse me,
even while I make prayer for them.
So they reward me evil for good,
and hatred for my love.
But you, O LORD my LORD,
act on my behalf for your name's sake;
because your steadfast love is good, deliver me.
For I am poor and needy,
and my heart is pierced within me.
I am gone like a shadow at evening;
I am shaken off like a locust.
My knees are weak through fasting;
my body has become gaunt.
I am an object of scorn to my accusers;
when they see me, they shake their heads.
Help me, O LORD my God!
Save me according to your steadfast love.
Let them know that this is your hand;
you, O LORD, have done it.
Let them curse, but you will bless.
Let my assailants be put to shame; may your servant be glad.
May my accusers be clothed with dishonor;
may they be wrapped in their own shame as in a mantle.
With my mouth I will give great thanks to the LORD;
I will praise him in the midst of the throng.
For he stands at the right hand of the needy,
to save them from those who would condemn them to death.
​

Psalm 109, selected verses​

Those who persecute me with evil purpose draw near;
they are far from your law.
Yet you are near, O LORD,
and all your commandments are true.
Long ago I learned from your decrees
that you have established them forever.
Look on my misery and rescue me,
for I do not forget your law.
Plead my cause and redeem me;
give me life according to your promise.
Salvation is far from the wicked,
for they do not seek your statutes.
Great is your mercy, O LORD;
give me life according to your justice.
Many are my persecutors and my adversaries,
yet I do not swerve from your decrees.
I look at the faithless with disgust,
because they do not keep your commands.
Consider how I love your precepts;
preserve my life according to your steadfast love.
The sum of your word is truth;
and every one of your righteous ordinances endures forever.

Psalm 119:150-160​

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
"Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
"Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the
kingdom of heaven.
"Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of
evil against you falsely on my account.
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they
persecuted the prophets who were before you.
​

Matthew 5:3-12​

"If the world hates you, be aware that it hated me before it hated you. If you belonged to the world, the world would love you as its own. Because you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world — therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, 'Servants are not greater than their master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you; if they kept my word, they will keep yours also. But they will do all these things to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin; but now they have no excuse for their sin. Whoever hates me hates my Father also. If I had not done among them the works that no one else did, they would not have sin. But now they have seen and hated both me and my Father. It was to fulfill the word that is written in their law, 'They hated me without a cause.'
"When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who comes from the Father, he will testify on my behalf. You also are to testify because you have been with me from the beginning.
"I have said these things to you to keep you from stumbling. They will put you out of the synagogues. Indeed, an hour is coming when those who kill you will think that by doing so they are offering worship to God. And they will do this because they have not known the Father or me. But I have said these things to you so that when their hour comes you may remember that I told you about them.

John 15:18-16:4​

I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the children of God; for the creation was subjected to futility, not of its own will but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and will obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies. For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
​

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.
​

We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn within a large family. And those whom he predestined he also called; and those whom he called he also justified; and those whom he justified he also glorified.
​

Romans 8:18-30​

Therefore, since it is by God's mercy that we are engaged in this ministry, we do not lose heart. We have renounced the shameful things that one hides; we refuse to practice cunning or to falsify God's word; but by the open statement of the truth we commend ourselves to the conscience of everyone in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For we do not proclaim ourselves; we proclaim Jesus Christ as Lord and ourselves as your slaves for Jesus' sake. For it is the God who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed;



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Let us know how you are doing, ok?? You are VERY much loved & cared about by your brothers & sisters in Christ on here!!!!










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[koban4max]

It's a lonely world for christians.

 

[Sketcher]

In the end, the Lord will reward us for the trouble we have on earth for following Him.

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done.'" - Matthew 16:24-27

"And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." - Matthew 19:29

 

[SycoMunkeyX]

thank you everybody, all this really helped. Its just sometimes it seems so pointless. I was goin out with this girl named kim and i thought we were just so happy together but we ended up breaking up because her friend was a homosexual and i decided that i didnt accept that. I still spoke to the guy and shoke his hand and stuff but i told her i accept him but not his lifestyle because its not pleasing to god and we ended up breaking up. I lost my bestfriend because he felt i was trying to change him and he though christianity was a cult. I told him id just appreciate if you didnt use foul language around me cause im trying to change myself for god and you should to insted of following the ways of ther world ( he was in church with me but he left) People in school hate me because i preach the word of god and often say things like " You preach to much" or "We dont care" and it hurts me so much cause there are rejecting god not me.

 

[heron]

I was goin out with this girl named kim and i thought we were just so happy together but we ended up breaking up because her friend was a homosexual and i decided that i didnt accept that. I still spoke to the guy and shoke his hand and stuff but i told her i accept him but not his lifestyle because its not pleasing to god and we ended up breaking up. I lost my bestfriend because he felt i was trying to change him and he though christianity was a cult. I told him id just appreciate if you didnt use foul language around me cause im trying to change myself for god and you should to insted of following the ways of ther world ( he was in church with me but he left) People in school hate me because i preach the word of god and often say things like " You preach to much" or "We dont care" and it hurts me so much cause there are rejecting god not me.

Even though other Christians will encourage you to preach the gospel, and you should, remember that your common sense about what people will accept is valuable.

People can learn all sorts of ways, but they will not choose to accept information unless it's presented in a way that they can see how the information will benefit them. And they will resist if they sense a competition, or an effort that attempts to own them.

Sometimes when I see people preach, they spill out information without showing how it relates to the potential user. For instance, a "repent and be saved" sandwich board doesn't suddenly send other pedestrians to their knees.

Start with caring about the person. See what their needs are. Listen to them before you ask them to listen to you.

Don't worry -- everyone goes through this. God is there to pick us up and dust us off.

 

[snoochface]

You can't try and change the world's behavior. You can't expect non-Christians to have problems with the gay lifestyle, or to stop swearing, or to do anything to modify their behavior to be "pleasing to God". Nothing pleases God without faith, and if they don't have faith in God, you're preaching a gospel of works by telling them to change their behavior to be pleasing to God.

The world is the world. We're pilgrims, strangers, in it. We can try to change hearts, lead people to Jesus, but if they don't accept him through faith, none of their behavior - good or bad - will change a thing with God.

You said you've only been a Christian for a few months right? So this is a big change to your friends probably. Suddenly, you don't accept them (or their friends) and want to preach to them. That's going to be a big shock to them.

Maybe you should try a different approach. It may end up, ultimately, that you can't remain friends with the same people. But maybe you can live your life as a Christian, and be a good example to them of what Christian love is all about, showing them the same grace that Jesus showed to all the sinners he hung out with during his lifetime.

You have the opportunity to be a good witness through how you live your own life, in addition to speaking with them about Jesus -- but hitting them over the head with preaching about changing their sinful behavior isn't going to work on any non-Christian. If doors open for you to share the gospel, that's great, but remember the gospel is GOOD NEWS, so frame it within the hope of salvation that comes with a relationship with Jesus.

 

[Rage4Christ]

You broke up with her because she was a friend with a gay person?

Sometimes I wonder how Christianity has come to this....

How do we go from Christ and his message of love, to this.....

Syco, I know there is a covert instruction by a large portion of the Christian community to treat gays with disdain.

All sins are equal.
We are all in sin.

Why single out this gay person for extra cold shoulder treatment?

If kim had a friend with a guy or girl who had trouble masturbating, would that be grounds to end the friendship? What if they felt "ok" about their masturbation, do you still then turn away from them?

What if kim had a friend with a guy or girl who had trouble with Pride and self-righteousness, do we just turn away from him or her for that too?

Soon you'll find yourself all alone looking for the perfect human group.

We humans are not perfect.
All we can do is give unconditional love to all in the face of it all.

I must say Syco, your post really just hurts to read. I think you need to pause, take a cold hard look at your behavior.

Is your behavior more judgmental than loving?
Would you say you are more empathetic or more dogmatic?

Ok, the more I think about your situation the more upset it's making me. I think I get the brunt of all the people who, because I'm Christian, call me a Gay hater, and it all stems from behaviors like yours and I think that's just a sore issue for me. I'm going to take a break for a bit.

 

[USNavyBlueAngel]

Rage ~ I will start out by saying that I DO understand your point, but reacting with anger towards this young man, who is confused to begin with, is not going to help at all!! He came here looking for guidance, and we asked him to tell us more of the story. Now that he has, you react with anger. All I'm asking is to PLEASE use those Christ-like qualities (patience, understanding, etc) you are talking about towards Syco so we can HELP him instead of making him more scared and confused.

Please just remember this young man is only 18-years old!!! He just recently became a Christian, & I'm sure is very excited about his new found home. He's just a spiritual infant, as everyone was once, and he's still learning. Let's all give him the LOVE & GUIDANCE he needs, and is asking for! (and HUGS to you too, Rage!!!! )

Syco, now that I understand what the situation is ~ my best suggestion is to talk with your Pastor (or another ~ for lack of a better term ~ senior church member) for advice on how to start out witnessing to others, and how to deal with people who concern you; like the person who is gay, or who swears. Like a couple of people said after you; acting Christ-like, no matter what comes at you (i.e. ~ with patience, forgiveness, & understanding) is the best thing you could do to start a way to draw people in to you. Hopefully that way, once they see what a difference He has made in your life, they will want to learn more about it!!!!!

We love you here, Syco ~ we all started where you are now. I'm there myself right now (I just got saved on January 18th, 2007, and am in my 5th week of my 16-week discipleship classes with my Pastor!!!), so I can completely understand your enthusiasm for wanting to save others!!! You are a good person for loving others enough to do that....