Advice to feel less lonely after getting dumped

Yoan · Jun 4, 2016

I have always felt lonely even before I met my bf, I didn't have many friends and I usually got bored and tried to talk to strangers online or just try to entertain myself with movies or TV or YouTube, but after my bf broke up with me the loneliness hit me like no other. This once, I have a comparison as to how happy and unlonesome I can be. Especially on Sundays, I don't know why, but I miss him a lot. A whole lot.

Any advice?

quietpraiyze · Jun 5, 2016

How old are you? I'm asking because this is the "Mature Forum" for 35+ and up...

Yoan · Jun 5, 2016

quietpraiyze said:
How old are you? I'm asking because this is the "Mature Forum" for 35+ and up...

Oh i am 23. Sorry didn't know where to put this thread

dayhiker · Jun 5, 2016

Completely understand the feelings after your BF broke up with you. It will pass.
What to do .. is there something you need to learn from that relationships? Then figure out what and learn it.

Get on with your life, make new friends and it will pass with some time.

blackribbon · Jun 5, 2016

What you are going through is not unlike withdrawal symptoms. It isn't easy to disconnect from someone even when you recognize it isn't a good situation and worse when you think it was. Understand that what you are feeling is "normal" and that it doesn't mean that it was the one true love of your life and not it is over (even if it feels like it). Stay busy. Stop thinking of it as "being dumped"...it is just finding out that you weren't compatible and be grateful that he didn't waste more of your time coming to this conclusion. Keep busy...doesn't matter if it is just busy work but limit the amount of time you have to dwell until dwelling no longer seems normal. Reach out and serve someone else...volunteer, help at church, mow the neighbors lawn, bake cookies for someone...anything to turn the focus away from yourself and feel good about yourself. And sorry, because having your heart broken (even if you know it isn't the best relationship) hurts and it often hurts longer than most people acknowledge. You are grieving the loss of a relationship and it stinks.

Yoan · Jun 5, 2016

blackribbon said:
What you are going through is not unlike withdrawal symptoms. It isn't easy to disconnect from someone even when you recognize it isn't a good situation and worse when you think it was. Understand that what you are feeling is "normal" and that it doesn't mean that it was the one true love of your life and not it is over (even if it feels like it). Stay busy. Stop thinking of it as "being dumped"...it is just finding out that you weren't compatible and be grateful that he didn't waste more of your time coming to this conclusion. Keep busy...doesn't matter if it is just busy work but limit the amount of time you have to dwell until dwelling no longer seems normal. Reach out and serve someone else...volunteer, help at church, mow the neighbors lawn, bake cookies for someone...anything to turn the focus away from yourself and feel good about yourself. And sorry, because having your heart broken (even if you know it isn't the best relationship) hurts and it often hurts longer than most people acknowledge. You are grieving the loss of a relationship and it stinks.

Thank you. I am trying my hardest prayers are greatly appreciated

blackribbon · Jun 5, 2016

How long has it been?

Yoan · Jun 5, 2016

blackribbon said:
How long has it been?

3 weeks and I'm not over it. Not just yet. Because I really think we could have worked on it. And idk. My mind keeps thinking about it.

blackribbon · Jun 5, 2016

Three weeks isn't long. And it will take longer if you loved him. However, you deserve a man that wants you. Don't settle for less just because you think you could have worked on it. You deserve a man who is asking to work on it. Anything less won't survive any real life tragedies. How long were you dating?

Yoan · Jun 5, 2016

blackribbon said:
Three weeks isn't long. And it will take longer if you loved him. However, you deserve a man that wants you. Don't settle for less just because you think you could have worked on it. You deserve a man who is asking to work on it. Anything less won't survive any real life tragedies. How long were you dating?

There's actually a longer story to it. Haha you can read it from my previous post if you're interested.
We were together for almost 11 months and a long distanced one. We can talk more in detail in inbox if you want to

blackribbon · Jun 5, 2016

If you want to talk, I am available. Long distance relationships are hard...even harder if you didn't have a relationship in person first. I'm sorry that it hurts so bad. You have to find something else to take up the time you used to spend communicating with him.

Yoan · Jun 5, 2016

blackribbon said:
If you want to talk, I am available. Long distance relationships are hard...even harder if you didn't have a relationship in person first. I'm sorry that it hurts so bad. You have to find something else to take up the time you used to spend communicating with him.

We actually have met in person twice. We spent time together for 4 months in total. Yeah I don't have a job currently since our plan was for him to come over here for vacation after his last semester ends and get to know my parents, then for me to stay over there with a visitor's visa for 6 months while he starts his new job so we won't have to part and yet can apply for the spouse visa at the end of it. But he broke up wih me before he was supposed to come and wasnt planning to come. But a week after he found out that he failed one his course and has to resit, so now he's probably redoing that one class, and will only graduate in November. So things probably happened for the best, but I still think we could have worked on it. Especially cause we met in the most random way and I think God guided us to one another. So he thinks that we cause each other to sin because we idolize each other and other things.. But we have repented and I think God forgives us and as a couple who was always serious I thought we should have asked for God's help even more after what happened. But idk. I'm still thinking about it whenever my mind is idle but yeah there isn't much I can do

blackribbon · Jun 5, 2016

Unless you are each putting your relationship over God, then it isn't idolizing. That is how you are supposed to feel about the person you eventually marry but that does not mean he is was the person you were supposed to marry... However, I suspect that he is ashamed that he failed a class...and maybe he has recognized that having a relationship at this moment in time is not helping him move forward. He is probably having to deal with his folks being unhappy with him and life isn't going as he planned. Also, neither of you have jobs and to do what you planned is very expensive... God knows what is best but sometimes it isn't what we think or plan for. Regardless, it hurts. I would suggest that you focus on trying to find someone in your own country to build a life with or focus on immigrating because you want to immigrate to certain country as an individual and not for someone else. Long distance relationships seldom work except in the movies. Some do work but they have quite a few obstacles to overcome and they are hard because you are alone when you really should be learning how to come together.

Yoan · Jun 5, 2016

blackribbon said:
Unless you are each putting your relationship over God, then it isn't idolizing. That is how you are supposed to feel about the person you eventually marry but that does not mean he is was the person you were supposed to marry... However, I suspect that he is ashamed that he failed a class...and maybe he has recognized that having a relationship at this moment in time is not helping him move forward. He is probably having to deal with his folks being unhappy with him and life isn't going as he planned. Also, neither of you have jobs and to do what you planned is very expensive... God knows what is best but sometimes it isn't what we think or plan for. Regardless, it hurts. I would suggest that you focus on trying to find someone in your own country to build a life with or focus on immigrating because you want to immigrate to certain country as an individual and not for someone else. Long distance relationships seldom work except in the movies. Some do work but they have quite a few obstacles to overcome and they are hard because you are alone when you really should be learning how to come together.

Well, I tried to explain that to him, but he just thinks in a different way and I'll not elaborate and bore you. Well, I did have a job, then I had to quit earlier than he was supposed to visit cause the company was collapsing, and I turned down a job offer cause we were planning to have me move over there. Yeah, I still think we could have worked on it together. We really could. Cause I think we are stronger together than alone.

I know his mum well, I don't think he would have too much trouble over it. He is probably overwhelmed or whatever but I could have been there for him. He said he wants to fix his relationship with God and up to this day, as much as I don't understand, I can only try and let him go. But I'm only human and deep down I still am hoping for him to realize that he has made the biggest mistake of his life, and hopefully when he does realize it, it won't be too late. Cause at this point everyone thinks he was just playing me. He didn't love me enough. etc etc.

I still want him to be happy, so so happy. I just don't want to suffer anymore. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of thinking of all this. I hate having to go through this.

quietpraiyze · Jun 6, 2016

Yoan said:
Oh i am 23. Sorry didn't know where to put this thread

No need to be sorry! In case you're still interested here are some forums closer to your age:

Roaring Twenties
Young Adults
Singles (only*) - This is where you came but you stopped at the top. Keep going down the page and you'll see there's a whole bunch of "Singles".

These are all listed under Life Stages

Yoan · Jun 6, 2016

quietpraiyze said:
No need to be sorry! In case you're still interested here are some forums closer to your age:

Roaring Twenties
Young Adults
Singles (only*) - This is where you came but you stopped at the top. Keep going down the page and you'll see there's a whole bunch of "Singles".

These are all listed under Life Stages

Yes, I will go there. thanksssss

4x4toy · Jun 6, 2016

Yoan said:
I have always felt lonely even before I met my bf, I didn't have many friends and I usually got bored and tried to talk to strangers online or just try to entertain myself with movies or TV or YouTube, but after my bf broke up with me the loneliness hit me like no other. This once, I have a comparison as to how happy and unlonesome I can be. Especially on Sundays, I don't know why, but I miss him a lot. A whole lot.

Any advice?

Never give your whole heart to anyone , always keep back at least a little .. Give your whole heart to the Lord instead .. That's what LUKE 14:26 means .. But remember there's room at the cross for all .. Not that complicated , just that people will always disappoint us is why we must live on every word out of the mouth of God as much as possible .. Never any disappointment there .. Find some Jesus people and get involved .. You'll be OK , we all struggle ..

Yoan · Jun 6, 2016

4x4toy said:
Never give your whole heart to anyone , always keep back at least a little .. Give your whole heart to the Lord instead .. That's what LUKE 14:26 means .. But remember there's room at the cross for all .. Not that complicated , just that people will always disappoint us is why we must live on every word out of the mouth of God as much as possible .. Never any disappointment there .. Find some Jesus people and get involved .. You'll be OK , we all struggle ..

Yeah it was my fault, because I seriously loved him and I never thought he would leave me. I understand his reasons, but I just thought we could have worked on it together with God but well. I'll not elaborate more. Prayers would be appreciated. Thank you!!!!

4x4toy · Jun 6, 2016

Yoan said:
Yeah it was my fault, because I seriously loved him and I never thought he would leave me. I understand his reasons, but I just thought we could have worked on it together with God but well. I'll not elaborate more. Prayers would be appreciated. Thank you!!!!

God bless you dear , Prayer sent .. There's nothing as beautiful as a man or woman who learns to love and put Christ first , nothing .. Now send that jerk to dumpsville and get back to your life .. LOL

Yoan · Jun 6, 2016

4x4toy said:
God bless you dear , Prayer sent .. There's nothing as beautiful as a man or woman who learns to love and put Christ first , nothing .. Now send that jerk to dumpsville and get back to your life .. LOL

thank you~! so he wanted to break up to put God first cause he thinks we put each other first. so haha guess he's doing the right thing then. i still think it could have been worked out

Advice to feel less lonely after getting dumped

Active Member

In The Secret Place

Active Member

Mature veteran

Not a newbie

Active Member

Not a newbie

Active Member

Not a newbie

Active Member

Not a newbie

Active Member

Not a newbie

Active Member

In The Secret Place

Active Member

Newbie

Active Member

Newbie

Active Member

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency