advice please?

[alvin89]

Hi, i'll b very frank about this.
I saw a post here on the topic of unevenly yoked marriages, and i want to ask the members of this forum of your opinion.

Im sorry if Im going to bore you but i feel that i should include a little bit about my background situation.

Im 21 years old, currently studying in dublin.
And this is my story.

I used to be really feverent in all things the lord, but tons of things happened and there was one point in time and i was wondering whether god exists.

ex-girlfriend issues which led to a drop in my academic life which led me to a semi-depressed state for about 2 years.

anyway, about 3 months back, i went to this church in Dún Laoghaire thanks to the persuasion of some friends.

and i will not lie, but ive had visions about the interior of the church. you could say it was kinda like a deja vu event but i have never seen that church in my life and yet it all seems so familiar to me.

and somehow i met this girl. when i saw her i kind of felt that there was something in her which really appealed to me. (ive had a vision of her fb photo. LOL)

we talked and hung out every now and then and she seems fairly interested in me; until i told her that i was kinda struggling with my faith.

a few weeks later she told me that we can only just be friends. citing the reason that i was kinda shaky in my faith and she didnt want to be yoked together with a person whose faith isnt strong.

eventhough i respect her decision, i am really really lost. is it not possible for the both of us to be in a relationship and through this relationship, bring me closer to god?

ive heard tons of stories about christians marrying non christians and then having problems with their marriages. but conversely i ask, is there not a societal part to this as well?

i come from malaysia and being brought up in an eastern chinese setting we were instilled with the values of love, loyalty etc. and from where i come from, tons of unevenly yoked marriages are fine. although i do not know the details of their love life, they seem pretty fine to me. and they are certainly doing a good job if they are acting. and one thing which could be biased is the fact that sometimes unevenly yoked marriages are blown up and often stigmatized.

so i throw my questions.

1. What is the meaning of Devotion to the Lord to you?

2. Is it wrong to be led to christ thanks to a person you like? Could you tell me how you came to accept the jesus as your lord and savior?

3. Why are unevenly yoked marriages so bad? If someone can pull you away from christ, why cant another person lead you to him?

4. What should i do besides from praying and submitting to the lord?

5. Should i be persistent and continue to show my affection? (lol)

6. Could you pray for me?

cheers.

 

[Sketcher]

1. What is the meaning of Devotion to the Lord to you?

He's the boss of your life, you aren't anymore. And you do as he says, even if it's not what you want. It's really not as bad as it sounds, being as he knows what's a good idea vs what isn't, and he really does want us to make the best choices in life.

2. Is it wrong to be led to christ thanks to a person you like? Could you tell me how you came to accept the jesus as your lord and savior?

Is it wrong? No. But "missionary dating" is usually such a bad idea (will explain later) that when people get saved through that, it's like the other person was playing chicken with a train. The Christian might get lucky, but it's such a bad idea, it's not right to endorse it as a general practice. We believe God can make good things come out of less-than-ideal situations, but that doesn't mean we should make the choices that lead to those situations if there's a better way ahead of us.

I came to accept Jesus because I was raised in the church, and He showed me what the Christian message meant. I accepted the gift of salvation, and I gave Him my life.

3. Why are unevenly yoked marriages so bad? If someone can pull you away from christ, why cant another person lead you to him?

Yes, people can come to know the Lord through those relationships, but again, that's God making a good thing out of a situation brought by a bad choice. We accept these good things, but our responsibility is to make the best possible choices.

Now, as far as dating someone who is unsaved is concerned, it's a bad choice that God warned us against. More often than not, the unsaved person in the relationship will not get closer to God, but the Christian will stray farther from God. The reason for this is "gravity." Every one of us has a "sinful nature," and a relentless enemy in Satan who will do all he can to ruin our relationship with God. He is a deceiver, and he doesn't care which lie out of billions it will take to deceive us from the truth of Christianity - lots of religions are out there, but only one will lead people to salvation in Jesus. As long as people are derailed from the one true way, he's content with that. Even worse, our "sinful nature" is always with us, so even if the devil weren't out there right now, we would still be sinning time after time after time. These habits do not go away easy, and living a Christian life is sometimes like swimming upstream a river. We feel like doing wrong when God wants us to do right. And that is why it is so much harder to maintain a faithful walk with Christ and save your significant other than it is to simply give in to sin for the sake of maintaining a relationship with your significant other. And this never ends well. So many non-Christians have lost respect for their Christian exes and the Christian faith in general because those Christian exes were caught between two worlds and they knew it.

These problems can compound themselves in marriage. Christians, for example, are supposed to tithe - give 10% of their income to the church regularly. It's hard enough to get Christians to sign onto that, let alone a spouse who is not Christian. When money is the biggest reason for divorce in the United States, we can see how important it is that Christians marry other Christians. And that is to say nothing of the Holy Spirit calling a believer to go on a mission trip! *

Finally, when you really look at it, "missionary dating" at its core is dating someone to change that person. It's not right to have that attitude for daily habits, for personal taste in anything, or anything else - religion is no exception to that.

* Now, I should point out that Scripture (in 1 Corinthians 7) honors the marriage state even if it's in a mixed-faith marriage. But those particular unions only happened because both of them were unsaved when they got married, and one of them converted later on. It is not an endorsement of a Christian choosing to marry a non-Christian.

4. What should i do besides from praying and submitting to the lord?

Well, "submitting to the Lord" is a big, big category that will keep you busy. You need to learn more about the faith and where you stand right now, and where you want to go. If you do rededicate your life to God, there will be more things, such as service opportunities.

5. Should i be persistent and continue to show my affection? (lol)

No, she's making the right choice. Honor that.

6. Could you pray for me?

Sure thing.

 

[alvin89]

sorry for taking your time.. but...
1. so whats your stand on devotion and reading the bible? can you say that some people are more devoted cuz they are able to spend more time meditating on the word? while others arent as devoted cuz they cant spare the time? or is devotion more of your way with life with god?

 

[Sketcher]

sorry for taking your time.. but...
1. so whats your stand on devotion and reading the bible? can you say that some people are more devoted cuz they are able to spend more time meditating on the word? while others arent as devoted cuz they cant spare the time? or is devotion more of your way with life with god?

Oh. There's "devotion" in the general sense, as in we are all supposed to be devoted. That's what I was talking about. You're asking about "having a devotion" which is more specific. That is spending time with God. Jesus did it all the time. He would get up early, venture out to a place where he could be alone, and pray. We generally include Bible reading when we do it since we have easily portable Bibles to read. It also can help us focus in on a relevant area of our lives for God to challenge us on. It also doesn't have to be early before sunup, but it is encouraged to do it at some point in the time daily. "Having a devotion" is an act of devotion in the general sense, and having that practice improves our relationship with God.

 

[AlexBP]

3. Why are unevenly yoked marriages so bad? If someone can pull you away from christ, why cant another person lead you to him?

They are not necessarily "so bad" but they are a concern. The main thing you need to realize is this. If you're young, your marriage might last for fifty years, sixty years, or longer. It is easy to think about how much you love someone and convince yourself that you could overcome the religious differences between yourself and your partner. However, things change over the decades. Would you actually be able to sustain the desire for marriage for fifty years, after physical attraction has disappeared, if there wasn't a stronger bond forged from similarities in faith?

So I would agree with what Sketcher said. Study and learn more about Christianity. Read the Bible, and the works of the church fathers, and the great apologists. Learn about Christian theology and history. Immerse yourself in it and then your faith will grow stronger.