Advice on something...

[ilovejesus86]

Okay, well as most of you have read; me and my girlfriend have had some questions in our relationship. And of course her parents restricting us on time together. Well it came to my attention (source remain nameless) that it is my girlfriends mother placing the restriction on us. In this little conversation i also found out that i guess my girlfriend went to her mother at the beginning of this and confided in her (father doesnt know about this) and told her how we have talked about intimatcy and how far is too far. Now at the time when it came up between me and my girlfriend the deal was kissing is as far as we will go until that special wedding day if and when it comes. Well she proceeded to tell her mother that she did have desires though when she was with me. I believe this to be a main reason her mother is kind of restricting our time togther, makes sense dont it? Well my question to you guys is, do you think i should approach her mother 1 on 1 and explain to her where me and my girlfriend are at on a physical level and how this is as far as this train goes on these tracks. Would it be wise of me to discuss these things with her? and do you think she would respect the fact that i came to her about this? Thanks

Ilovejesus86

 

[SirFei]

Hey Bro,

Anything you can do to better the relationship between your girlfriend's parents and yourself can ALWAYS help. Trust me on that. As for restricting yourselves to just kissing, this is a good idea! Especially when you look at when we get aroused. Believe it or not, guys get aroused when french kissing, and can lead to going further. For girls, they get aroused when more physical touch comes into play. However, this is not the quesiton you asked, but useful information.

Yes, informing your girlfriend's mother of what your plan is with her daughter is a good idea. Let her know that you are only interested in going so far till being wed, when and if that happens. Mothers, as well as fathers, are going to be very protective of course, and are going to feel safer with you if you let them know you respect them and more importantly, their daughter.

When I was first dating my girlfriend (now fiance), we had a limit on how late she could be out. She could only stay out at my apartment at the latest of 11:30pm, however I could stay at their place almost as late as I wanted (both of us are out of highschool). We respected their wishes, and this showed that we could be trusted. Remember, God tells us to honor our mothers and fathers; this includes our girlfriend's parents. Also remember that their parents, however much they may be intimidating, WANT to get to know you. They need to know that their daughter is with someone they can trust and know won't lead them down a pathway that is wrong. Let them know you are Christian, especially if they also believe in Jesus Christ.
I hope this helps... God bless!

~Marc

 

[JillLars]

I wouldn't go up to them and tell them how far you have gone physically. I would however talk to her mom and let her know that you love and respect her daughter and have no intention of hurting her in any way. Let her know that you are both committed to remaining pure before marriage. There is no need to go and tell her all you've done is kiss (somehow I still think this would garner a negative reaction). Just let her know that you love her daughter, don't want to hurt her, and are committed to purity.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Honesty is the best move, every time.

 

[LadyBird]

Honestly, it is none of her mother's business how far you two go together. It's YOUR business, between you and your girlfriend. If her mother is nosey enough to ask, just let her know that you and your girlfriend want to stay pure until you get married.

 

[Jesusfreekwanabe]

CHEASE that is a tuff spot

well she already knows ,
but talking about your gurl firnds imatmecy is like well u cant get any more privet that is like stepping on and over walls that arnt ment to be stepped over .
dose your gurlfirend think that this is also the reason that u guys r restricted?
i would not talk about imatamcy with her mom , but i would ashure her mom that u have no intions of doing any such thing and that u respect and honor at all costs to keep her clean and to keep her doughter with all your heart and will do all u can to watch over her sperital , emotinal ,phyical , and social aspect and health . if they keep restricting u keep being obeadant . there is nothing more that u can do if u have lose there trust , if u lose there trust , u can just kiss her Good By .
no dont talk about the intmacy . just ashur her that she is 100% safe , mean what u say do it respectfuly , humblely , and sinersearly .

- hope this has helped

Oh, and make shur they belive the source it's not there premission u want to win its there trust in you .

 

[SirKenin]

I wouldn't do anything. I'd just let it ride. You're only going to kindle the fires more otherwise, despite your good intentions.

In the future, though, (and this is just my personal bias) you might want to ask your girlfriend if she could keep certain aspects of your relationship private. I'm a private type of person when it comes to things like that, and nothing bugs me more than a girlfriend that goes breaking that confidence by talking too much. No good can come of it anyways.

 

[msjones21]

I actually agree with drfeelgood. At 17 you really have no place confronting her mother. For now I would just respect the fact that she has restricted her daughter from seeing you out of valid concern you're moving too fast.

 

[invisiblebabe]

how old is your girlfriend?

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Well, I think it's awesome she has this kind of a relationship with her mom. You must remember who she (her mom) is and respect that, even if you don't like it. In addition, you should help your girlfriend obey her mom if she ever is having trouble doing so. It's possible that she talked to her mom about this for help and this is what her mom has done for her. You rgirlfriend may be struggling with wanting the train to keep on going.

I wish everyone was this open, or could be this open, with their parents.

 

[DatingSmarts]

I think it would be out of line for you to confront her mother.
What goes on between her and her mother is none of yOUR business.


It really bothers me the lengths you will go to shame this girl

 

[SirKenin]

Well, I think it's awesome she has this kind of a relationship with her mom. You must remember who she (her mom) is and respect that, even if you don't like it. In addition, you should help your girlfriend obey her mom if she ever is having trouble doing so. It's possible that she talked to her mom about this for help and this is what her mom has done for her. You rgirlfriend may be struggling with wanting the train to keep on going.

I wish everyone was this open, or could be this open, with their parents.

It isn't so awesome when they start sharing every aspect of your private life. ie your sex life. Then it loses it's appeal in a real quick hurry.

 

[katelyn]

It isn't so awesome when they start sharing every aspect of your private life. ie your sex life. Then it loses it's appeal in a real quick hurry.

I agree with you on that one. It's weird to think about either me or my husband discussing that with our parents. Once you get married, some things are just private. But I think when you're still in the dating stages (not to mention still a high school student ), having an open dialogue with parents is a good thing. I hope that when my husband and I have kids, they will feel open enough to talk about relationships when they first start dating.