Advice on dating again.

[Godsgurl042002]

hello Me and my Ex boyfriend broke up in March and i still love him very much and i miss him so much, i don't know what to do , i am praying and trying to give it to God , but i am feeling like sometime i wanna ask him back out again and see if we can do it again or whatever .... but i wanna start being friends first and everything Let God do the work ands tuff.. but i am just praying and thinking alot.. what do you think ? do you think i should date other people for a while and see what happens , he was my 1st bf, and everything.. how do i start dating again ? i am not sure if i wanna date anyone else besides him.. what do i do ??

 

[fishstix]

If you don't feel ready to date anyone else yet, then don't. Some people take longer to heal than others. Give yourself time.

 

[justasinner]

Your first is always the one you will remember forever or at least while you are alive and it is the hardest to get over. Now, some will tell you, that you need to get back in the swing of thing and date again and the easiest time is now. Others will say wait a while.

The time that is required is up to how long does it take for you to heal from this breakup. It could be a month or two, or even a year or two just simply because it is your first time and you need to learn how to get over such problems.

As for when, well let your friends choose when to tell the single guys that you are available. Your friends will see sometimes before you do that you are ready for dating again. And your true friends will try to make sure that your not hurt again by telling the guys that they know are right for you.

Then when a guy comes a calling you can decide rather or not to go out. If your answer is "Yes", then you are ready. And if you decide to say "No Thanks", then you know that you need more time to heal. Or it could be that the guy was the wrong one. Sometime the wrong guy will ask but that's life in this world that we have to learn deal with.

 

[bostonlass]

hello Me and my Ex boyfriend broke up in March and i still love him very much and i miss him so much, i don't know what to do , i am praying and trying to give it to God , but i am feeling like sometime i wanna ask him back out again and see if we can do it again or whatever .... but i wanna start being friends first and everything Let God do the work ands tuff.. but i am just praying and thinking alot.. what do you think ? do you think i should date other people for a while and see what happens , he was my 1st bf, and everything.. how do i start dating again ? i am not sure if i wanna date anyone else besides him.. what do i do ??

If you still love him and miss him so much I think that answers the question of whether you are ready to date again. You need time to heal from this relationship. YOu don't mention how long you were with your boyfriend. Generally I would look at a breakup as a loss and you need to mourn that loss. It's a very sad thing to go from having someone that you share everything with to not having that anymore.

I recommend pampering yourself. Pray a lot. Get your hair and nails done if that's what makes you feel good. Eat ice cream. Do for you what you'd do for a best friend who just broke up with her boyfriend. Remember why you broke up. Granted some people reunite and all is well but the rule of thumb is that people break up for a reason so don't be in a rush to get back together.

Hang on to your girlfriends and go out with them and talk their ears off on the phone. Most of all though, pray that God leads you to Him and to His will, not your will.

peace,

bridget

 

[VivDaGurl]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It's true, some people get it over easily and some need some time but whatever it is, the most important thing is to draw near to God and let Him take charge.

 

[JPPT1974]

Ever heard time heals old wounds. Let time take place as well as the Lord working His miracles on you regardless.

 

[chanis]

sometimes it takes a while to get over someone if you don't feel ready to date don't...

 

[Hope_0004]

I don't think you should date if you're still so connected to this guy... it's not fair to another guy who might really fall for you if you're not ready to possibly do the same. And what if the boyfriend came back? You'd most likely return to him, right, so where does that leave the new guy?

I think people are too quick to jump back into another relationship when one goes sour. Mourn this one, make sure it's over... then hit the dating scene again, when you're truly ready.

 

[Holdinfourth]

I don't think you should date if you're still so connected to this guy... it's not fair to another guy who might really fall for you if you're not ready to possibly do the same. And what if the boyfriend came back? You'd most likely return to him, right, so where does that leave the new guy?

I think people are too quick to jump back into another relationship when one goes sour. Mourn this one, make sure it's over... then hit the dating scene again, when you're truly ready.

I totally agree!!! Could not have said it better.

 

[OhCanada]

Your first is always the one you will remember forever or at least while you are alive and it is the hardest to get over.

The time that is required is up to how long does it take for you to heal from this breakup.

Agreed. But also don't forget this. According to your screen name, your only 18 - and if i placed odds on it i would bet that the majority of people who have found their mate at 18 or lower would be a very very low statistic.

Your still young, you have time, and the first break up is not fun - but remember that they happen, you ARE normal, and sometime sno matter what you do they just don't work out.

And another little snippet of advice, if youw ant to go back to being "friends" witht his guy, make sure your not doing it with a counter motive of getting back together. Friendship is friendship, relationships are relationships, and hovering in the middle ground with hopes sets a person up for pain.

 

[Hope_0004]

Agreed. But also don't forget this. According to your screen name, your only 18 - and if i placed odds on it i would bet that the majority of people who have found their mate at 18 or lower would be a very very low statistic.

Your still young, you have time, and the first break up is not fun - but remember that they happen, you ARE normal, and sometime sno matter what you do they just don't work out.

And another little snippet of advice, if youw ant to go back to being "friends" witht his guy, make sure your not doing it with a counter motive of getting back together. Friendship is friendship, relationships are relationships, and hovering in the middle ground with hopes sets a person up for pain.

I want to do a poll on this, I think that would be very interesting.

I agree, I doubt a lot of people find their soulmate before or at 18, but the numbers are bound to be higher on a christian website... people tend to not jump from one person to another as much. Unfortunately, that doesn't include me - horrible taste, or horrible luck, or something, but I'm still kinda lookin' for the one! Might have found him, but for the OP, I promise, it's not the end of the world to be single at 23... actually, I kinda feel like it's the beginning!

 

[Jesus-is-the-1]

Take time and heal. I wouldn't date until you feel you are good and ready. There is nothing wrong with taking some time out for just you and God.

 

[JPPT1974]

Take your time indeed. Also lean on the Lord and He'll decide whether or not you are right & ready to date. Don't just jump into something for all the wrong reasons.

 

[Godsgurl042002]

Hey all I never Said there was a New guy, I want to get back togather with my Ex boyfriend, i some How keep thinking that God has something planed for me, and i don't know if includes my ex boyfriend or Someone else but i know there is someone out there even though i love and Miss my ex boyfriend Badly... please understand I am not going to date anyone until i know i can hadle it, and i am doing God's will for my life.. so yeah... but thanks all for your advice

 

[JPPT1974]

Hey all I never Said there was a New guy, I want to get back togather with my Ex boyfriend, i some How keep thinking that God has something planed for me, and i don't know if includes my ex boyfriend or Someone else but i know there is someone out there even though i love and Miss my ex boyfriend Badly... please understand I am not going to date anyone until i know i can hadle it, and i am doing God's will for my life.. so yeah... but thanks all for your advice

God does have plans to prosper and help you and wants them only in your interests as He has your best interests at heart. May the Lord bless and keep you my friend!