Advice needed

[LadyWalsh]

Hello, I'm new to this forum and would really appreciate some advice and guidance. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year. He is still married to his wife, but have been separated for over a year. Their marriage ended due to them falling out of love with each other and unfortunately marrying for the wrong reasons. He is currently looking to submit divorce papers. We have looked online and he will have to wait for another year before this is possible. When they got married it was not in a church but a registry office. I have never been married before and would want to marry him in the future with the church. My concern is that his wife will put on the divorce papers adultery due to her bitter feelings towards him, however this is not the case. I would like to know that if he has to go down this route will the church allow us to marry in the future? I am very concerned and appreciate that this situation is not without sin, however the love we have for each other is the most important thing in my life and I would want to make sure I am doing the right thing for both god and my partner. Thank you in advance x

 

[AvgJoe]

Hello, I'm new to this forum and would really appreciate some advice and guidance.

Hi & Welcome to CF!

I would like to know that if he has to go down this route will the church allow us to marry in the future?

Well, it depends on the church and/or denomination that you're apart of, as they treat this situation differently.

My concern is that his wife will put on the divorce papers adultery due to her bitter feelings towards him, however this is not the case.

The definition of adultery is voluntary sexual relations between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse. If you'll have ever done that, then adultery has been committed. It doesn't matter if the married person is separated from their spouse.

I am very concerned and appreciate that this situation is not without sin, however the love we have for each other is the most important thing in my life and I would want to make sure I am doing the right thing for both god and my partner.

I'm sorry to be blunt, but the right thing for God would have been not to enter a relationship with a married man.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi Lady Walsh .. welcome to CF.

That seems very strange that he would have to wait another year to get a divorce, I can see the process taking a year.
Churches have all kinds of rules about marriage of divorced people. Talk to your pastor to see what rules he has.

Are you sure he has dealt with his part in what caused his wife and him to fall out of love? IS he being honest with you?

 

[JAM2b]

You say in your original post that their marriage ended. It has not ended yet. Separated does not equal divorced. Your boyfriend is, in fact, a married man. You are "the other woman."

If you two have had sexual relationship, then he has committed adultery. If they are not divorced yet, and there has not been adequate healing time, then her bitterness and whatever else she may be feeling could be warranted. Just because they "fell out of love" does not mean things are OK to move on yet. After all, apparently she hasn't filed for divorce. You may have entered a relationship with her husband before she was fully ready to let go and heal.