Advice needed on that big talk with kids

[Kristy]

My oldest will soon be 9 How do I have that sex and where babies come from chat with him?

I cant go by what my parents told me  cause they never told me.

 

[VOW]

To Kristy:

Hoo BOY!

You might start by watching a TV show with your son, where a woman is very OBVIOUSLY pregnant. Use that as a starting point.

Because I'm sure that he's probably already gotten a lot of information, LOL....and most of it is probably WRONG.

Try to explain pregnancy as something between a married mommy and daddy, and talk about their relationship with God, that children ultimately come from God. Then describe how God made this wonderful way to give a baby to a married mommy and daddy. Only get as graphic as necessary. Your son might get a little antsy if you try to draw pictures.

Expect questions.

Talk about how God creates the marriage, to make sure there is a safe home where the baby can grow up.

Your son probably knows of a LOT of examples that won't fit this scenario. Talk about it. Talk about love, and respect, and responsibility.

And keep the communication open, so he can always come to you. Because before too long, you are going to have to talk to him about changes to his body.

And when he turns 14, you lock him in his bedroom, throw away the key, and don't call a locksmith until he turns 25.

Maybe even 30.


Peace,
~VOW

 

[Wolseley]

Well, I asked my father where babies come from at about the same age, and he sat me down and explained the whole works to me, beginning to end. It wasn't deadly clinical, but it wasn't so ephemeral so as to be meaningless, either. He just told me the facts, in simple, matter-of-fact terms.

And AFAIC, that's the best policy. Some time later, my friends at school got into a playground discussion about where babies come from. I listened to what they had to say, and I said, "That's baloney! Here's what my dad told me!" One of the teachers overheard me and went into vapor lock (this was about 1968 or so); they ended up calling the Old Man at home and asking him if he had actually told me the Facts of Life, and he said yes, he had.

They wanted to know if he thought it was right to tell a 9-year old child the graphic details of the subject, and Dad (as he was wont to do when dealing with educators), rapidly exhausted his patience quota with them and replied, "Listen to me: if he is old enough to ask the question, then he is old enough to be told the truth, and not a a load of stupid b*llsh*t about 'the stork'. Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do."

I'll have to say this: sex for me when I reached puberty was not that big a deal, and I think it's because the Old Man had removed the mystery and "forbidden fruit" aspect of it with that little chat we had when I was nine. I knew the facts of the subject, and I used to think, "Okay, so what's the big deal?" For all too many of my peers, however, that was something they lacked, and the more they didn't know about it, the more they cogitated on it.

Personally, I think it's better to be right up front with it and remove all the myths and misconceptions. Kids are not as squeamish about that stuff as parents are, I'm afraid. They're able to handle a lot more stuff than we give them credit for.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth.

 

[Kristy]

Well TY Both Think that will definately help. Just pray for me that I can muster up the strength to do it now. LOL

 

[sunshine]

Wolseley, sounds like you have a great dad

Kristy, I don't really have any advice for you, I just wanted to tell you that I think it's great that you're going to have "the talk" with your son and that you want to give him good information. my parents never had "the talk" with me, and to this day I don't feel comfortable talking with them about anything like that. I hope that your son will always feel comfortable approaching you with anything. bless you!!!

 

[IslandBreeze]

9 years old? I think you'd be surprised at what he probably already knows. The hubby and I have talked about it. I want my kids to know from the time they're little what sex is (NOT ALL THE DETAILS!), and that it is between two married people--a man and a woman--before someone else (the media or liberal school system) does....

 

[platzapS]

It's funny. Some children are told about the stork, yet my 3-year-old sister knows that a baby comes from mommy's tummy, and I've taught her a little about umbilical cord (I'm also teaching her about veins, the brain, heart, lungs, gravity, and the moon). She onced asked, "how does God make a baby and it still comes from mommy's tummy? I think I'll leave it up to my parents to decide on what to tell her from here.

 

[Evening Mist]

I think about this a lot. My oldest is 6. I think he already knows a lot. He knows how babies are born -- he was very interested in learning all about that when I was pg.

He knows how and when different kinds of animals mate. He is very much into nature, and seems to take "facts" about animal sex into his little brain as easily and sweetly as an other facts about animals. I don't push information on him, but he can read and asks good questions, and likes to watch nature shows.

I think that if he doesn't alreay know about people sex, it will be easy to explain it to him when the time is right.

But VOW, I already quake in my shoes when I think about mothering my boys in their teens! Gosh, can't I just keep being their favorite woman forever???

 

[seebs]

8th September 2002 at 11:00 PM Wolseley said this in Post #3 (http://www.christianforums.com/showthread.php?postid=336740#post336740)
I'll have to say this: sex for me when I reached puberty was not that big a deal, and I think it's because the Old Man had removed the mystery and "forbidden fruit" aspect of it with that little chat we had when I was nine. I knew the facts of the subject, and I used to think, "Okay, so what's the big deal?" For all too many of my peers, however, that was something they lacked, and the more they didn't know about it, the more they cogitated on it.

EXACTLY!

We're built to be interested in sex, and curious about it. Once we *know*, though, a lot of the mystery goes away, and it stops being such a big deal.

Hormones are hard enough to fight. Hormones *AND* curiousity? Unlikely.