advice and prayers please

[beth_psalm121]

My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 2 years with being together solidly now for around 4months i think. This last week we lost our virginity to each other and have had sex several times now. We both are truely in love and apart fomr this, we have a good relationship with the lord, frequently praying together. We are best friends and couldnt be closer. We know its so wrong and when I'm having my quiet time with the lord I cant say sorry enough but when we are together alone, eventually it will lead onto it now and we dont wtop it despite knowing we're sinning because it simply feels to good. I dont regret losing it to him because I've always known that he would be the one that Id be comortable doing thatwith. Ive never been able to trust other guys because of personal reasons in my past. I also know my partner and I are in it for the long run because we are so good for ach other overcoming several ups and downs. I just cant seem to help myself and desperately need to stop because I am so screwing up and what gives me the right to? Im going to spring harvest next week ( a christian holidayevent thing for those who dont know) and hope this will be a turnaound point for us both. Please dont judge me because i genuinely do love the lord and want to obey him but since ive been growing the devil is intervening and i need to climb back out of this hole. PLEASE give me some advice. Prayers would also be so appreciated as this is really getting to me.
god bless
xx beth xx

 

[Saviot'Valuan]

Of course, this will hurt in the process, but you musn't allow yourself to have opportunities. Do something else, play a game, go out instead. Loving one another is wonderful, I know it is. But a question to ask yourself is "will our relationship be blessed if it is entangled in sin?" I know this sounds wierd, especially from the modern stereotypes, but your boyfriend must take the first steps to stop, and you must help. If he is aroused, believe me, he can find a way to get you to forget your senses. Praying and fasting over the issue will be great, I also see you've started.

 

[gracefaith]

Resisting temptation is SO hard - even more so when you have already given into it once. We will all certainly pray for you and I really want to encourage you to resist temptation in the future.

I do not doubt that you truly love each other and wish to have a blessed and Godly future together. Don't compromise that by continuing this behavior! Pre-marital sex could cause all kinds of complications in your future marriage (if there is to be one) and your future in general. What if you get pregnant? What if you get married and find yourself unable to shake off the guilt of pre-marital relations?

I would find a friend you can trust to keep you accountable. Give her permission to come in and break the two of you up if you are ever alone. If you want to stop what you are doing, it may be that you cannot be alone together at all. Decide that this is what you want to do and commit to it. You CAN control yourself and the Holy Spirit will surely help you!

 

[PurpleBunny]

Do what my fiance and I did--first, we removed all forms of birth control. Second, we stopped spending as much time together completely alone, unless it was in the car driving somewhere. With the risk of pregnancy combined with the lack of privacy, we've only had one slip-up since October, that being in December, and hopefully we can hold out 3.5 months more.

Anyway, the point is you CAN do it. It doesn't have to be difficult IF you don't tempt yourselves. Don't play the game of "how far can we go without going all the way?"

The other thing is, you BOTH have to be committed to stopping for this to work, because if your boyfriend doesn't want to stop and keeps pressuring you, it will be easy for you to give in. If he loves you enough to deserve to make love with you, then he'll love you enough to stop.

 

[loved]

Don't think of short term pleasure, think of the long term effects.

 

[beth_psalm121]

thanks so much everyone. It is so hard though isnt it! We keep saying we wont do it again, its wrong but then when it comes down to it... Just gonna keep praying and i will totally follow the advice!!

 

[Wakeup2god]

In my personal experiance pre marital sex has come as a comfort, a false comfort at that. The only way Ive found to get round it is to be right with God. He is all sufficiant if we allow him to be. When our eyes are set on higher things the desires of the flesh become less strong.

If you weren't attracted to each other I'd be worried so don't expect the desires to go away, that's natural. God put's things in order for a reason. Marriage first then sex, we have to trust Him on this one even when we don't fully understand why.

Get some books to read on courting (an old word but much preffered to dating). Do bibke studies together, pray together, be accountable if you know someone spiritually mature enough to help you. The Lord has a perfect plan for you both, only the two of you can affect the outcome of that plan. I heard this on tV last night. If you board a plane from New York to London and the plane veers just 2 degrees off course you'll end up in central Africa! Stay on course with God.

 

[bliz]

Darlin' - where are you when you have sex with him?

Don't go there with him.

I'm not saying that is is easy, but you are making it harder than it has to be.