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Adultery

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grateful heart

grateful heart

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Hi guys .

I have a sceneraio I want to go through with you guys and tell me what u think, scripture references would be great.Now the reason why im doing this is to make sure i am doing the right thing by this person.

lets say I went to a Prostitute and im married now the first thing i want to ask is would there be a difference between the girl giving me oral sex or full sex in regards to sin?
the second is if I fully repent and never do it again how would this reflect on the relationship with my wife>?is there a 100% need to tell her?
 
D

DrGather

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lets say I went to a Prostitute and im married now the first thing i want to ask is would there be a difference between the girl giving me oral sex or full sex in regards to sin?
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No...

They are both sin, equal, without difference.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

If you look at a woman lustfully while married, it is just as bad as having sex with her.
 
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grateful heart

grateful heart

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No...

They are both sin, equal, without difference.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

If you look at a woman lustfully while married, it is just as bad as having sex with her.
Click to expand...
so if i looked at a girl lustfully and on another occasion had sex with another , you think it is the same thing? my wife would disagree lol
 
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D

DrGather

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Maybe it's just as bad, but it's not as good.
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True...
Hmmm.gif


I feel dirty :blush:

so if i looked at a girl lustfully and on another occasion had sex with another , you think it is the same thing? my wife would disagree lol
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Would God?

It might affect your relationship with your wife. It depends on her tolerance, and her ability to forgive for such offenses. Although most woman will not easily forgive something like this. Most end up in divorce. You know that, and I know that. Would your wife think any differently if she saw you having oral sex with a woman compared to having normal sex with a woman?
 
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D

DrGather

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jesusmento.jpg
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Of Course!!

There will come a day when Atheists, as they have for so long been proudly trumpetting, try to take over The West and burn down Churches in their wake. We must stop them, the War on Atheism will become a real war soon enough, they hate us, remember that when you are clutching your rifle in the middle of a bombed out New York or London. So don't be hesistant in using the rifle when the War comes.
Click to expand...

I just read your signature!

Dear God The Son of the Mother of Mary of Jesus of Nazareth who is... Jesus!

AAAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Who would say something so disgustingly repulsive?
 
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C

Cerberus~

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lets say I went to a Prostitute and im married now the first thing i want to ask is would there be a difference between the girl giving me oral sex or full sex in regards to sin?
Click to expand...

Sin. No. It's even wrong to even imagine yourself getting head from a hooker, according to Christianity.

the second is if I fully repent and never do it again how would this reflect on the relationship with my wife>?is there a 100% need to tell her?
Click to expand...

I'm starting to think this is a bit more than a hypothetical...

But only unless you are far certain that you wife will never, ever find out, I'ld tell her. Now if the hooker died mysteriously in a car crash a week later, then you wouldn't have to tell because you're the only living person that knows, but usually you don't get that lucky.
 
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flicka

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grateful heart said:
Hi guys .

I have a sceneraio I want to go through with you guys and tell me what u think, scripture references would be great.Now the reason why im doing this is to make sure i am doing the right thing by this person.

lets say I went to a Prostitute and im married now the first thing i want to ask is would there be a difference between the girl giving me oral sex or full sex in regards to sin?
the second is if I fully repent and never do it again how would this reflect on the relationship with my wife>?is there a 100% need to tell her?
Click to expand...

Hello there.

I guess the first thing you would need to do is figure out exactly WHY you felt the need to visit a prostitute. That would determine how you should proceed.

If there is absolutely positively no chance you would ever be tempted to do this again I would say it's probably best not to confess to your wife. Why? Because she may never trust you again and your marriage could be at risk and both of you would live with regret....FOREVER. If you choose this option you will carry the burden alone.

On the other hand, if there is a deeper issue that caused you to visit the prostitute, and that issue isn't addressed, this may happen again despite your guilt and repentance. If you realize there is something about you and/or your relationship with your wife that is lacking you should be proactive and get counseling, which may include confessing to your wife at some point, but at least you would both have all the facts if you decide to stay together and work towards a better relationship.

I know that first option will not be popular but it's probably what I would hope my husband would do if he ever did something like that. I can't imagine anything good would have come from me finding out about a one time indiscretion.

This is only my opinion and as a non Christian I admit it may be way off base for your particular situation.
 
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morningstar2651

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grateful heart said:
Hi guys .

I have a sceneraio I want to go through with you guys and tell me what u think, scripture references would be great.Now the reason why im doing this is to make sure i am doing the right thing by this person.

lets say I went to a Prostitute and im married now the first thing i want to ask is would there be a difference between the girl giving me oral sex or full sex in regards to sin?
the second is if I fully repent and never do it again how would this reflect on the relationship with my wife>?is there a 100% need to tell her?
Click to expand...
Your friend is a lout & his marriage is a farce if he can't be honest with his wife about everything.

I don't believe in sin, but I believe your friend is a jerk and ought to take responsibility for his actions.

For a biblical reference, Adam & Eve didn't take responsibility for their actions. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the snake. Look where that got them.
 
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sparklecat

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If the person in question is going to feel guilty about this action and have it affect their life greatly, or if they want to improve their relationship with their wife and think telling her would do that (or serve some other positive aim), they should tell her. If they can't see anything positive coming from telling her and can deal with the consequences themselves, perhaps they shouldn't.


But whatever they do, if there's any chance at all that they could have contracted an STD from said happenings, they probably ought to both get tested and cease any physical relationship until the results come back.
 
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wowbagger

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If oral and truly never to do it again...then no need to tell. Ruins the relationship pretty much.

If "full" as you call it then he either has to tell her, or abstain from sex with her for at least 6 months to get an AIDS test (condoms are not fool proof).

He cannot chance giving his wife a disease- especially a fatal one. Am surprised no one mentioned this risk. (edit: ok now I see sparklecat gets kudos! beat me by 2 minutes.)

If he wants to keep it secret AND be responsible, he'll have to tell many more lies- lie about the test, lie about why he cannot have sex, etc... It's up to him how much he wants to lie vs. getting in deep doodoo. Both choices are not good for his situation. Build a time machine perhaps?

Anyone but a hooker, and I might have a different answer, but they are just so nasty in the nether regions.
 
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Green Man

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lets say I went to a Prostitute and im married now the first thing i want to ask is would there be a difference between the girl giving me oral sex or full sex in regards to sin?
the second is if I fully repent and never do it again how would this reflect on the relationship with my wife>?is there a 100% need to tell her?
Click to expand...


When a man and a woman marry,they vow to forgo all others.Sex with a prostitute or anyone else for that matter is a violation of those vows.Oral sex,or going all the way makes no difference,it's still sex.You don't have to be religious to know it's wrong.If you keep doing it,chances are she's going to find out.But if you're sincerely remorseful and vow to yourself never to do it again,then keep it to yourself.You don't have the right to cause her unnecessary pain in order to assuage your own guilty conscious.That is the price you must pay for your transgression.
 
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S

Soul Searcher

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DrGather said:
If you look at a woman lustfully while married, it is just as bad as having sex with her.
Click to expand...

I have a little problem with the comment quoted here. While it is clear that to look on a woman for purposes of lust is adultery in your heart it is still not the same as the act of adultry.

The problem with the line of thinking that they are the same would be to give a person a reason to follow through on thier thoughts. e.g. If they are already guilty then might as well commit the act type of mentality.

Clearly the mental act is wrong but the physical act makes 2 wrongs.
 
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