Admitting for the first time....

[syrin]

Hi !!
I think maybe I have a problem with alcohol. I am scared and confessing here. I have never told anyone this and I am too scared to tell anyone!
I am 28 yrs old and have been drinking since I was about 13. I can function w/o alcohol and I don't have to drink every day (well not anymore). But, if there is alcohol around, I must have it... I can't think of anything else when it is close by me.
About (4) years ago, I didn't go (1) night without alcohol. I was the "party girl". I went through a "withdraw" period. But now that is over and I'm married with a child. But sometimes, all I can think about is alcohol. My family members are all alcoholics. Some have died of the illness. I DO NOT want to admit that I may have a problem. I DO NOT want to go to rehab... but there is a lingering, scary thought that I may have an issue with alcohol. No matter how long I stay away from "it" , its never out of my mind for long.
Any advice would be helpful!!! thank you !!

 

[syrin]

Hi !!
I think maybe I have a problem with alcohol. I am scared and confessing here. I have never told anyone this and I am too scared to tell anyone!
I am 28 yrs old and have been drinking since I was about 13. I can function w/o alcohol and I don't have to drink every day (well not anymore). But, if there is alcohol around, I must have it... I can't think of anything else when it is close by me.
About (4) years ago, I didn't go (1) night without alcohol. I was the "party girl". I went through a "withdraw" period. But now that is over and I'm married with a child. But sometimes, all I can think about is alcohol. My family members are all alcoholics. Some have died of the illness. I DO NOT want to admit that I may have a problem. I DO NOT want to go to rehab... but there is a lingering, scary thought that I may have an issue with alcohol. No matter how long I stay away from "it" , its never out of my mind for long.
Any advice would be helpful!!! thank you !!

I know I may sound desperate.... but I am currently drunk. By that I mean at the time of this posting !
I can't seem to get away from alcohol. I would love to go to a rehab center... but I don't know how .... and I have a job and a family, could I attend some sort of meeting without leaving my family?? They need me and I have too much stress here at home to leave. I'm confused and scared. I pray... alot. Please... help.

 

[PrairieGurl]

I know I may sound desperate.... but I am currently drunk. By that I mean at the time of this posting !
I can't seem to get away from alcohol. I would love to go to a rehab center... but I don't know how .... and I have a job and a family, could I attend some sort of meeting without leaving my family?? They need me and I have too much stress here at home to leave. I'm confused and scared. I pray... alot. Please... help.

Dearest Syrin,

Hi I'm Wendy...I'm a recovering alcoholic who struggles with thoughts of alcohol alot.

You don't sound desperate...you sound that you are being honest with yourself...and you want someone to know that....and this is the first step.

 

[New Creation]

Hi there sister. I really can sympathize with you. I went through a period where I didn't drink every day either but if alcohol was around I HAD to have it as well. It took me years to admit that I had a problem. I was too afraid of living without booze. I loved it and hated it.

I've been sober for three years and I'm a different person only because of it. Without God's help and grace, I would be dead. My life is a good one and I miss the alcohol only occassionally.

Please consider your child in your reflection. It is okay to be afraid. Courage is taking action even though you ARE afraid.

Father God,
I lift my sister syrin up to you in prayer.
I thank you that she came here to ask for help from Your children.
I pray Lord that You help her to see the truth of her life. I pray Lord that You give her the courage she needs to take the action You desire.
I pray Heavenly Father that You will send a loving, understanding and upright Christian to help her.
I pray for a miracle in her family Lord.
And I pray that You keep her safe and let her know that she always has You to lean on.

In Christ's Holy Name,

Amen.

 

[justanobserver]

Hi !!
I think maybe I have a problem with alcohol. I am scared and confessing here. I have never told anyone this and I am too scared to tell anyone!
I am 28 yrs old and have been drinking since I was about 13. I can function w/o alcohol and I don't have to drink every day (well not anymore). But, if there is alcohol around, I must have it... I can't think of anything else when it is close by me.
About (4) years ago, I didn't go (1) night without alcohol. I was the "party girl". I went through a "withdraw" period. But now that is over and I'm married with a child. But sometimes, all I can think about is alcohol. My family members are all alcoholics. Some have died of the illness. I DO NOT want to admit that I may have a problem. I DO NOT want to go to rehab... but there is a lingering, scary thought that I may have an issue with alcohol. No matter how long I stay away from "it" , its never out of my mind for long.
Any advice would be helpful!!! thank you !!

I know I may sound desperate.... but I am currently drunk. By that I mean at the time of this posting !
I can't seem to get away from alcohol. I would love to go to a rehab center... but I don't know how .... and I have a job and a family, could I attend some sort of meeting without leaving my family?? They need me and I have too much stress here at home to leave. I'm confused and scared. I pray... alot. Please... help.

Hi Syrin. Welcome to the Recovery forums.

My name is Norm and I am a recovering alcoholic and an addict. I am not a counselor nor in any professional capacity so I cannot give professional advise but I can give my personal opinion:

Reading your 2 posts (which I am quoting both here), you have concerns that you might have a drinking problem; family of alcoholics, been drinking for 15 yrs, deaths attributed to alcoholism and the thing that stands out to me is your comment "But, if there is alcohol around, I must have it... I can't think of anything else when it is close by me."

Its just my opinion only but it sounds, based on what you have to say that you do have a drinking problem and you need to get help. I cannot and will not say you are an alcoholic but I strongly urge you to seek out AA - you will find it in your phone book or go to their web site

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_find_meeting.cfm

there are christian men and women that post here in the recovery forum that you might want to PM with questions if you need answers from a christian (I am not a christian). My heart so goes out to you.

You say you cannot admit you may have a problem but admission is the first step to recovery.

Step 1. 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Admitting that you may have a problem and you need help doesnt mean you need to be in rehab. It does help you to face the problem and get the help thru AA or other sources that you need to live sober.

You dont have to do it alone. Thru Aa and other programs like Celebrate Recovery, there are "sponsors" - folks that have been sober for a while and are there to help you when you need it. folks that you can call, talk with, seek guidance, help, advise, strength, comfort, etc.

Also, there are good folks here that you might want to talk to.

You mentioned your drunk at the time of posting. later on, please read this or re-read this and give it some deep thought and action. pleaae!

My thoughts are with you.

Norm

 

[Terri]

Hi syrin

Syrin I would say that if you think you might have a problem with alcohol than you probably do.

I would encourage you to go to an AA meeting and talk to the people there. You can usually find a schedule of AA meetings in your local area by googling your city and "AA meetings." At least that worked in my area. And then after you attend a meeting ask them for a copy of the local schedule.

I was a party girl when I was younger too. Didn't really drink for probably 25 years and then started to drink to ease the pain after my husband's death.

Drinking is usually just a symptom of problems in our life that we can't cope with very well and we use the alcohol to numb the pain. AA teaches us how to deal with life without having to numb our pain with alcohol.

It was through a dear member of this forum that I attended my first AA meeting. We aren't even from the same country. Yet they actually looked up the schedule for me on the internet, did a map search and found a meeting about a mile away from my house...they gave me the time and the address..and that was my first meeting. It was very scary at first, but when you get there you see they are just normal people trying to learn to deal with the difficulties of this life in a alcohol free way.

And alcohol free is definitely the way to go. Learning to lean on God and not alcohol to get us through the tough things in life really is the only way to go.

I'm praying for you dear syrin.

Please let me know dear sister if I can help you find a local meeting or help you in any other way.

Love,

Terri

 

[UnitynLove]

Go to AA, I will be praying for you.

 

[justanobserver]

Syrin - how are you doing? been hopin that you will post an update so we can know how you be.

 

[UnitynLove]

How are you Syrin??

 

[TeslaZ]

Well,I could have wrote this --you sound so much like I was but I have since cleaned up. I started drinking at 13-14 also and just kept up. A few years ago at a turning point I had alcohol poisioning. I think when someone hits the bottom they tend to see the message.
I hope you are well. I see it's a post of a few months back so don't really know where you are physically. Be well!