Add-On Story: "Bunco Division"

[Susan]

The rules are:
1: NO CUSSING/SWEARING AT ALL . I don't consider cussing realism, I consider it immediate cause to report you to the mods.
2: Romance is allowed on two things: keep it VERY CLEAN and don't let it sidetrack from the main plot listed below.
3: No gore. Also if your characters are "good" try to refrain from violence at all costs.
4: "Good" characters must be Christians or at least sympathetic to Christian virtues and morals.
5: Other characters "undecideds" and "bad" may be whatever you choose to make them.
6: One person may not remove more than 3 of another participant's characters unless permission is granted by that writer in the storyline.
7: New writers are always welcome to chime in! (even with new characters.)
The story is set in 2050 somewhere in Southern California. Which means you can go as futuristic as you think is or as retro as you think is
The plot is that a series of strange thefts is occuring in a large city, and several people are trying to catch the culprit(s).

My characters are, again. . .
"Detective Nadia Marshall," 26, newest detective in police department Burglary Auto Theft division, Christian, description Scottish-Native American with green-dyed hair and mirror sunglasses. Assigned to the burglaries and car break-ins.
"Detective Brenda Lim," 31, Christian, other detective from Burglary working the case with Marshall, description Malay Filipina with black hair, wears pro-life pin on inside of her coat. Known for being the person always bringing new technology to the division.
"Norie Hatano," 36, former correspondent for "News Now" magazine, now hired by major newspaper in the city. Originally from Osaka, non-Christian but somewhat sympathetic to the faith.
"Robin Alistair," 21, convicted petty thief, non-Christian.

One new character so far:
"Captain Myron Howe," age 45, captain of police Bunco Division. A Christian, but somewhat backslidden. Known for being highly intelligent.

What has gone before. . .
http://www.christianforums.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=138946#post138946

 

[Susan]

Nadia watches Brenda placing the last of her computer system on the desk. "Why do you think we will need that monstrosity for investigating fraud?"
"I loaded a new program. I call it 'Ad Watch.'" she scans a classified ad page into the computer. "Now, I set this to tell me if there is anything here that says 'millions of dollars can be yours.'"
Nadia overhears the desk officer. "Captain Howe, pick up line 2. Looks like the water purifier gang has moved south from Seattle."
"Howe. . .No, I'm not asking you how they swindled you. What happened?. . .yes. I see. Officer Marshall and Sergeant Lim. Yes. They will be there as soon as possible."
Nadia looks up from the classified ads. "I heard some-"
"Two salesmen sold a woman on 313 Laurel a water purifier for two thousand dollars."
"Overpriced at least-"
"And it looks like the tactics that a gang in Washington was using."
"We're going now."

 

[Calenlanthir]

Christiana looked up from her paper.
"Not again!"
"What now?" asked Victor. walking over from his desk.
"I'm being reassigned. In two days."
"Well, that gives you 48 hours to impress him."
"Some new dude has taken over. His name is Peter Segura. He has two daughters. Veronica and Emalita Segura." Christiana whistled. "Boy. They are pretty rich. It says here that Veronica graduated from the L.A. University of Espeanog. That place costs like, 4,000 plus dollars a year! And she's taken it for four years. that's 16,000 dollars. AND, Emalita is into her first year at the University. This is interesting."
"Want me to cheak it out."
"Please."
"You got it boss." Victor left the room, and drove toward the University.

NAME: Christiana Ithildin
AGE: 21
GENDER: Female
DESCRIPTION: Short, red hair(it was long bronish-red hair, but she cut it and died it red.), light skin, deep green eyes.
ALIAS: Christina Ithlong
AFFILIATION: Secret Agent
OCCUPATION: Southern California
BELEIF: Christian
PERSONALITY: Nice, a little rough around the edges

NAME: Victor Claspen
AGE: 23
GENDER: Male
DESCRIPTION: He looks like Antonio Banderas
ALIAS: Vic Clars
AFFILIATION: Secret Agent, partner to Christiana Ithildin
OCCUPATION: Southern California
BELEIF: Christian
PERSONALITY: Nice, somewhat doesn't trust certain people

 

[Susan]

313 Laurel is in the suburbs, a rather nice neighborhood where many retirees live.
The older woman who called opens her door. "Yes, are you the police?"
"Yeah," Brenda takes her badge case out of her purse. "I'm Detective Sergeant Lim, this is Officer Marshall. May we come in?"
"Sure. . .here's what I called you over. The man from the water department said it was a '3000 Super Pure Water Safety Device.'"
The water department doesn't sell purifiers, Brenda thinks. "What was his name?"
"Bob Kress. That was the name he gave me on the reciept here."
Brenda looks at the receipt. "Sorry, ma'am. This is phony."
Nadia glares at the contraption, which looks more like a broken window air-conditioner than any wather purifier she has ever seen. "Well, ma'am-"
"Georgia Stephens."
"Ms. Stephens, then, how did he say it worked?"
"Young lady, I don't understand any of it. All he did was come in- 'Official water department business, he said,'- then he drew some water from the kitchen tap there, dropped this thing he said was a 'test tablet' into it. Well, he said that if the water turned dark red that it had bacteria. It did just that-turned as red as you could imagine. he then throws out the red water, said it was dangerous. Then he tells me that this machine can clean up my water until the department can fix the intake valve on my water main here."
"You said he asked for money."
"And got it. 2000 dollars worth. After that, I just knew that I didn't want to drink that water and that it was dangerous. I asked my son to come over here and get it running. He took one look at it and said, 'Mama, I'm calling the police.' So I guess it is a fraud. . .come to think of it, I should have known from the beginning. It looks very much like an air-conditioner."
"Can you tell me what the salesman looked like?" Brenda asks.
"Yeah, around 19, 20 I'd say. Dressed in a water department uniform, white, blond hair, around 6 feet tall. Blue eyes. Wearing gloves. Incredibly polite. . .too polite, I guess."
Nadia looks at the fake water purifier. "We will have to check this into evidence downtown."
"Fine by me, I have no use for it."
Brenda places her notebook in her purse. "Looks like we're done here. Three more things, ma'am. First, we will need your son's address so we can get his perspective."
"7870 Rose Way. The new house-he built it himself."
"Now, did the salesman talk to any of your neighbors?"
"Mrs. Branchley, next door. She's rude. The neighborhood grouch. Slammed the door in his face."
"And one last thing. This is a pamphlet on the top five frauds and how to avoid them."
"If only I was like Mrs. Branchley."
"Ma'am?"
"I would have not lost my money."

 

[Susan]

Brenda and Nadia fill out the first part of the complaint over lunch at Pete's Diner.
Brenda glares at the complaint paper that she's filling out. "That's just sick. That woman didn't mean any harm to anyone, and someone decides to take her money. Look at this receipt-" she points to the copy of the phony receipt. "'Super-giga-ray collimator extra bacteriophage machine.' Some name for an air conditioner."
Nadia nods in agreement. "Yeah, I know all are sinners. But some of these people, like these con artists, you wonder how they live with themselves."
"If only there was some way to warn people ahead of time. All we seem to do is to be there too late." Brenda grumbles. "Hey. Maybe we do. Do you see who's there talking to Pete at the counter?"
"Hatano. Let's get out of here before we have to go through 10 rounds of 'no comment' 'you must know something' and 'no comment.'"
"No. Let's see what they're talking about."
They move to the booth closest to the counter. "The Dodgers are finally winning this year. If you ask me, I'm shocked. Quote that if you want."
"Yeah. . .that is a surprise. . .It was nice eating here, man. You should move to Osaka, your cooking would be highly appreciated."
"I think I get better reviews staying here. Like I said, I've been here for 20 years."
"Yeah, including mine."
Norie throws some money on the counter and leaves for the door. "Hey! Nice to see you!"
"Wha-oh. You ladies. What do you want? If my motorcycle is parked illegally, can we skip the ticket routine-"
"We're not working traffic. Bunco."
"What's that?"
"Swindles, frauds, hoaxes for money-"
"Yes. Are you working?"
"Yes, routine investigation."
"Ooh. Sounds interesting, tell me what happened."
"We can't release any details. However, we would like to request your assistance."
Norie smiles at them. "Anytime, ah, but could you ignore my parking in the fire lane? That's 100 dollars I could use anywhere else."
"We aren't working Traffic Division. However, we would like to see if the Times would be interested in doing a special section this Sunday, on 'The Top Twenty Frauds and Schemes.'"
"I'm asking the second I get in to the office, because now I'm curious. What do you people really do?"
I should check with Captain Howe first, Brenda thinks. "Well, you can have access to spend one day in the Bunco Division, if your boss says yes to the story."
"See you there!" he leaves.
Nadia looks at Brenda. "Do you think that was wise? This person bungled our last major investigation, patronizes us, and generally serves as an annoyance to the entire police department."
"I don't know. However, to put a request through Press Information Division to someone else would take too long. Two weeks for just the preliminaries."
"And who knows how many more victims."

 

[Susan]

please close this thread and/or delete it.