Adapting

[Br. Xavier]

If there are any Catholic to Orthodox converts here, this question is directed to you.

How did you first react to the Orthodox "way" (for lack of a better term)? Everything seems so foreign to me... how did you adapt?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Etsi]

For me personally:

I'm a TCK, my whole life has been about both adapting and realising that I will never fit anywhere. Time is another factor. It will simply just take time and acceptance. For me it was realising that I was there for my own spirit and to worship God, not for anyone else. As one presvytera told me, "just be".

 

[Br. Xavier]

Interesting...

The whole Church seems theologically sound and I'm extremely intrigued, but I'm always thrown off when I attend a service (only 3 to date). Perhaps I will just have to take the time.

 

[choirfiend]

It is so different from anything else that it takes time for some before the actions make sense.I know I get completely thrown each time I attend some denomination's services...

Do you have a good liturgy book that explains what is happening since you've been there a few times to just soak it in?

 

[prodromos]

It is just like going anywhere where the culture is different to what you grew up with. The way people live and how they do things in other countries can seem crazy and illogical when you visit for the first time, but if you stay a while and give it time to sink in, not only do you start to make sense of it all, but you also start to settle into the same rhythms and routines of that culture. Before long, it is your culture and everything clicks, then you see the culture you came from with new eyes and realise that there is a lot that isn't so hot about it now that you have a different perspective.

John

 

[MKJ]

It is so different from anything else that it takes time for some before the actions make sense.I know I get completely thrown each time I attend some denomination's services...

The first time I went to an Anglican service, I was so intimidated that I didn't come back for a year!

 

[ScottsWife]

I did a lot of research and talked to the priest before I went, and I felt good when I went for the first time. Even though it was totally different for me, it did not freak me out...because I already knew what to expect. I'm also reading The Orthodox Church, its a good book that my priest recommended. I also have The Orthodox Way to read next. Also, the kind folks here have really helped me a lot, too. This coming Sunday will be my 3rd time attending.

One thing that will really help me would be to get a c.d. of the Divine Liturgy, so that I can practice it, and get it memorized so that I don't have to use the book.

My husband, is Catholic, and he had a hard time feeling comfortable at the Orthodox Church. He said the people were great, but it is not for him. I feel that had he done the research that I had done, he would have been more comfortable. But, he does not have the free time that I have. I told him of the major stuff that would be different, so that he was not totally shocked when he got there, but it did not help much.

Did you do research???

 

[Etsi]

It does eventually sink in...you get used to it in an organic way by just being there, participating as you can (and this grows the longer you are there and the more you are there). And people in the EO are really generous, I've found. They don't expect you to do everything a certain way or the "right way" as you raised in it.

 

[Br. Xavier]

And people in the EO are really generous, I've found.

That's a highly debatable statement. I wouldn't necessarily boil it down to the EO, though, just people in general.
The EO priest I've communicated with at the local parish was VERY generous, and everyone on the forums here also seem generous, but the "Christians" at the Cathedral I went to for Pascha offered nothing but sarcastic retorts to friendly conversation. Perhaps that was just them, though. Again, little exposure.

~

Indeed, I have done my share of research. I need more than knowledge at this point, though, and I'm unsure as to what happens next.

 

[Etsi]

I'm not sure which jurisdiction the parish you are attending is under. It could be that or it could be cultural differences. There were things said to me my first day that, if I had been anyone else, would have come off as offensive. In reality, it was their culture's way of showing that they were curious about me. Keep going. Some people might be curious as to whether you are just curious or if you are serious. Some don't understand why someone that was not raised EO want to be EO. Have patience and grace...and remember that you are not there to impress anyone.

 

[ScottsWife]

I'm lucky I guess. I fit right in at my new church. I already call it "my church" and I have only been twice. lol. I probably feel so comfortable because almost everyone there is converts...including both priests. They all made a point to tell me that it was OK that I did not know anything, and how they had all been in my shoes. So, that helped a lot.

 

[Dorothea]

I'm lucky I guess. I fit right in at my new church. I already call it "my church" and I have only been twice. lol. I probably feel so comfortable because almost everyone there is converts...including both priests. They all made a point to tell me that it was OK that I did not know anything, and how they had all been in my shoes. So, that helped a lot.

You're not the only one. My husband felt it was his home when he first stepped into the rented room at a sleep clinic where our mission church (Antiochian) at the time. Within ten minutes, he knew he was home and never went back to any other previous churches he'd been attending.

 

[-Kyriaki-]

Also, don't judge the Orthodox Church by the people that turn up for Pascha. Just like anywhere else we have C & E (Christmas and Easter) people, and those who are there on Pascha, Christmas and the Parish Feast Day are quite likely to be there for their annual visit...

Pascha can be stressful too, we get grouchy from lack of food and sleep and it doesn't always bring out the best in us.

 

[MariaRegina]

Each parish has a distinct feel.

There is one parish which has a large percentage of ex-Catholics in it. They tend to sit together after the Divine Liturgy and crack uncharitable jokes about Catholics in general. I avoid that parish for that reason. The priest is aware of the situation, but it takes time for people to heal.

At another parish, there are a lot of ex-Protestants who also also carry their baggage with them, but they are big on Bible studies.

A while ago, I read a book about convertitis, and the priest who wrote it said that converts do tend to have difficulties, which will take an average of three to five years to overcome. Each convert comes from a different background. Often times, inquirers or catechumens may not even realize that they are upsetting others through so-called unknown sins. So several Orthodox Priests have told me that they cannot have inquiry classes because one inquirer may say something antagonistic that may upset another person. Instead, Priests usually meet individually with people.

However, we are all sinners, and we must learn to be patient with one another and pray for one another.

Look around for a parish where you feel at home, and where the priest is warm and caring.

My prayers.

 

[srjoanna]

yes, just search for a parish in which you will say "yes, this is it...this is home".
You will feel it in your soul and in your heart.
Trust me, you WILL feel it.

 

[E.C.]

If there are any Catholic to Orthodox converts here, this question is directed to you.

How did you first react to the Orthodox "way" (for lack of a better term)? Everything seems so foreign to me... how did you adapt?

Thanks in advance.

Adapt? A lot of prayer.

For me I had turned away from the Roman Church for a variety of reasons; part of which had to do with the bad handling of the scandals in the US, Ireland and other places. Part of it had to do with how uncharitable certain key people within the parish community treated my family. However a large part of it had to do with the fact that somewhere along the line I could not fathom a Church being lead by a single man when there were twelve Apostles who lead the Church (just didn't add up).

I adapted by keeping an open mind. I learned a lot from the old folks; some Romanian, some Russian and some Arabic. From them it wasn't so much about theology as much as it was praxis. I learned from them how people in general, not just Orthodox, should act towards others.

It takes a lot of prayer, a lot of patience, an open mind and an open heart.

 

[Joshua G.]

To Brother Xavier:

My wife was Roman Catholic/Protestant (RC as baby, then raised protestant, then went back to the RC) and now is Orthodox. Obviously it wasn't difficult at all for her, as semi-liturgical protestant to go to the RC because the feel is so similar, but going to an Eastern Liiturgy has been a process of major adapation for her and she's been Orthodox for some 5 years now. There is still a small part of her that feels like when you put on that old trusty shoe that you've broke in so well that she feels when she goes to an RC Mass, but she knows where the Church is and more and more she feels at home in the Eastern Mass. I should also mention that she felt that same calming "ahhhhhhhh" feeling when she went to a Western Orthodox Liturgy which is quite different from a Roman Catholic NO Mass because... she's western.

All that said, she does feel most at home at our parish. Despite the fact that the DL hasn't culturally 'clicked' with her 100%, she can't imagine going to another parish at this time in her life. SHe used to say that if a Western Rite Orthodox parish started nearby, she would want us to change to that, but now she doesn't feel that way at all.

So, I guess my point is that I won't promise you that after a year of going to the Divine Liturgy it will all click liturgically speaking. It may take years. You may ALWAYS feel that "ahhhhh" feeling to some extent when you go to a Catholic Mass for some friend's baptism or wedding or whatever. And it might click with you very quickly and you may find, as I did, that after a liturgical year or so, the old Mass (or in my case, Liturgical Lutheran Service) doesn't click anymore at all and when you go to DL, you feel that "ahhhhh" feeling Who knows. If it's a struggle for you, God will bear that struggle with you and will give you reassurance of where you are in other, deeper ways.

Regardless of how easy or hard this particular aspect of the journey will be for you, the Divine Liturgy (Eastern or Western Rite) WILL click for you over time... maybe never completely feelings-wise, but it will click in ways that matter more than that coveted old-shoe feeling It will continue to click in the ways that matter.

Hope that made SOME sense

Josh

PS: about the sarcastic retort people you met.... my GUESS is that most of those people were converts (like ME!). If you convert... just don't be like them. It's an easy trap to fall into!

 

[Br. Xavier]

For me I had turned away from the Roman Church for a variety of reasons; part of which had to do with the bad handling of the scandals in the US, Ireland and other places.

It disgusts me so.

Part of it had to do with how uncharitable certain key people within the parish community treated my family.

This was a very prominent factor in my (what I'd like to call) former parish. They were "uncharitable" behind the backs of those whom they deemed worthy of such hate, and were all around "bad."[/quote]

Personally, I'd never imagine going back to that cathedral to talk to anyone. I'd attend services, maybe, but I've had it there.
As I mentioned earlier, the priest who was very generous seems to have a well enough community given that I never met them, but apart from that parish, there is one down the road (literally) that is also OCA that he stated is basically "waiting for their parishioners to die off." They're not interested in reaching out to new members or even working with the church itself. Apart from his mention of it or accidentally going down that part of the road, I'd never have known it existed. There is also an Antiochian church not TOO far away, though a bit of a distance, that I'm interested in attending a service at.

Thank you all for your responses.
I figured I'd share this:

I generally spend quite a bit of time on the computer, and immediately prior to my posting this thread, I felt inclined in, again, pursuing efforts of looking into Christ (having stopped after the formerly mentioned Pascha visit). The next day or two (I don't recall when exactly), I received a mailing that included two bulletins to the generous priest's parish. Upon reading them, I found that my name had been under the "Inquirers" section for the past two weeks. Coincidence? I've yet to convince myself. Just thought I'd share...